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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28936812">Number 12</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lbeebo/pseuds/lbeebo'>lbeebo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Free!, Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bokuto Koutarou &amp; Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Bokuto is Bad Ass, Bokuto is OOC in the beginning, Bokuto is an asshole, Bokuto is not who he seems to be, Bokuto needs a hug, Character Death, Character Development, Consensual Sex, Crossover, Crossovers &amp; Fandom Fusions, Domestic Violence, Drama, F/M, Falling In Love, Fire, Fluff and Smut, Friends with Rin, Friends with Yachi Hitoka, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, Love Confessions, M/M, MSBY Black Jackals - Freeform, Miya Atsumu is a Tease, Out of Character, POV Second Person, Past Character Death, Pro Volleyball Player Bokuto Koutarou, Reader is Bokuto's personal assistant, References to Depression, Romantic Comedy, Sad and Happy, Slice of Life, Sports, adult reader, lovestory, mention of drug use, mention of violence, no kinks, slow burn i guess, switching pov's</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:29:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>57,725</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28936812</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lbeebo/pseuds/lbeebo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(Y/N) is a successful business woman, managing Japan's best swimmer, Matsuoka Rin.</p><p>But when Rin quits swimming all of a sudden, she ends up being unemployed and desperate to find a new job. </p><p>When her friend Yachi offers her to manage a young Volleyball Player, she doesn't hesitate to take it. </p><p>She just doesn't know what she's getting herself into...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bokuto Koutarou/Reader, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A New Opportunity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Welcome to this Bokuto x Reader Story I did in May 2020 :)<br/>I already uploaded the story on Wattpad but I wanted to try it out here as well. </p><p>Have Fun reading and Please give Asshole Bokuto a Chance.<br/>There is a point to his behavior :)</p><p>Thank you! &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stuffing your face with the third portion of ice cream this week, you sat on the couch, legs up, with a blanket wrapped around you.</p><p>You felt already extremely sick to the stomach but the spoon automatically dipped into the cold again. A gallon of ice cream wasn't enough to make you feel better.</p><p>Since you were, uh, no, <em>had </em><em>been</em>the successful manager to THE Rin Matsuoka, the best freaking professional swimmer in whole Japan, you had been living a stressful, yet exciting life.</p><p>But that son of a b*tch had just decided to quit, because he had again lost against his all time rival, Haruka Nanase. The maroon colored idiot had dropped the fucking news of his resignation at the press conference after last week's tournament. Leaving you speechless, shocked and… unemployed. You were hired by an agency. But no client = no job = no money.</p><p>Normally quitting were things you'd talk about with your manager. But Rin was such a pain in the ass, sassy, cocky and sometimes really rude, he hadn't even given it one thought to tell you about it. <br/>
And if this hadn't been bad enough, you had been the one the reporters had run over for an interview. You had no idea how you had managed to escape this horrifying situation. <br/>
But since you were a professional, you had told them the first story that had come to your mind. Overplaying the fact that you had no idea. And they believed it. <br/>
You hoped so at least.</p><p>Sticking the spoon back into the delicious, vanilla comfort, you groaned in despair. You needed a job. As soon as possible, otherwise you'd lose your apartment. But that was easier said than done.</p><p>Rin hadn't just defamed himself but you as well.</p><p>Who would hire you now that Rin had quit? Which left you standing like the world's worst manager.</p><p>You would miss your overly expensive apartment. The huge windows in the 15th floor of one of Tokyo's most popular hightowers which allowed you the most beautiful view over the city. <br/>
You'd gotten used to 'upper-class' living. And you hated it as much as you loved it. Yes, it had many advantages like wearing fancy clothes, hairdresser appointments every week, 5 Star Restaurant dinners and the handsome young men that picked you up for super romantic dates, which always ended in One-Night-Stands and never calling them again.</p><p>But finding real, loyal friends, decent man and a time for yourself (without the freaking press sticking its nose into your business) was hard and extremely depressing. You felt lonely sometimes and used. You never called the guys you had dates with because you knew, from a few hurtful experiences, that those guys only dated you to become big, or even just to get to know your client.</p><p>Without a job... <br/>
You'd have to move back to your parents. Back to Sendai. And you never ever wanted to go back there again. Not under any circumstances.</p><p> </p><p>The moon lightened your huge living room when you opened the third bottle of whine, not minding to take a glass to pour it in anymore.</p><p>Waking up the next morning, your head hurt like hell and your limbs felt heavy. Hungover and tired, you got under the shower and made some light breakfast afterwards. A banana smoothie with blueberries since nothing else would stay in your body today.</p><p>Walking through your apartment with the towel still wrapped around you, you picked up your phone, which still rested on the couch you had slept on and saw that Yachi had tried to call you.</p><p>Yachi. The only person you could trust. The sweetest, most loyal and supportive colleague and friend you had. The only one that is.</p><p>She was working at the sports agency you were hired; she was the one who knew all the newcomers or agency free athletes, she would call managers to work with them etc etc. And whenever she needed someone for a sportsman, she'd call the managers the agency had contracts with.</p><p>Yachi was actually like a Pimp. She would get customer and employees together and they would make lots of money for her and her agency.</p><p>Calling her number, Yachi picked up at the second free sign, as always.</p><p>"Oooh dear!!! I'm so sorry!!! You don't have to tell me, I know absolutely everything!" the young woman cried into the phone with her lovely voice. A smile crept over your face.</p><p>"Morning Yachi" you laughed, your voice sounding raspy.</p><p>"You got drunk again? Don't answer me, I already know." she sighed dramatically before she continued. <br/>
"Listen, I've got a job for you. If you'd be okay with that. Because he's.. Uhm-"</p><p>Suddenly really awake, you stood up, holding onto your kitchen counter.</p><p>"S-seriously? Oh my god!! Definitely! Who's it?"</p><p>"Yes, listen. He's 24, so about your age, he's a volleyball player and on top of his game. He's one of Japan's best spikers and in general a really energetic and fun person." she explained. You heard her long nails typing something into her laptop.</p><p>"Volleyball? Sounds cool!" you grinned, rubbing your (h/l) hair dry.</p><p>Yachi giggled nervously on the other side of the line. "Definitely!" she sounded a little off somehow. But you ignored it. Yachi cleared her throat before she continued.</p><p>"There's just one thing, I need to tell you…"</p><p>"I'm doing it! Give me half an hour and I'm there to sign the contract!" you cheered, smiling brightly, suppressing the urge to squeak.</p><p>"But I really need to tell you something!" Yachi tried again but you cut her off again.</p><p>"We talk about that when I'm at the agency, okay? Oh God, thank you, Yachi! I thought I needed to move back to Sendai!!" you laughed, relieved and happy. Yachi just laughed dryly before another sigh followed.</p><p>"Alright. See you at ten"</p><p> </p><p>Yachi pinched her nose and closed her eyes before she took a deep breath and put her typical smile back on her face.</p><p>
  <em>I hope </em>
  <em>she</em>
  
  <em>won't</em>
  
  <em>hate</em>
  
  <em>me</em>
  
  <em>for</em>
  
  <em>this</em>
  <em>…</em>
</p><p>"Oi, Yachi-sama, you talked to her?" a tall man stuck his head into her office with a smirk, while he licked his lips.</p><p>"Yes, Bokuto-san, I reached her. She's on her way. Just wait outside for a bit. If you want some coffee, feel free to use mine" Yachi offered him a kind smile before she turned back to her work. But she jumped gasping when the guy, named Bokuto, came around her desk, took her coffee cup and drank it in one go.</p><p>"Th-that was mine!!" Yachi stuttered, shocked. The man, smirking dirty, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.</p><p>"You said I could use yours!" he grinned before he leaned extremely close. His breath brushing Yachi's face. <br/>
"But if you want some, we could kiss and you could get a taste"</p><p>Face hot and red, Yachi prayed that you wouldn't hate her the second you'd knew which man you'd have to manage from now on…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Client</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Getting into the elevator of the agency, you felt extremely motivated. Yachi had done it again. Thanks to her, you wouldn't have to go back to your freaking childhood. To the memories you tried to push back. To the people there..</p><p>The door was about to close when a big, male hand stopped it and a tall, grey-black haired man grinned at you before he got inside and leaned against the wall next to you.</p><p>Looking at him from the corners of your eyes, you swore you knew him from somewhere. But you just couldn't remember from where.</p><p>The dark jeans he was wearing were loose fitting, a pair of white Sneakers on his feet, while he wore a black, tight fitting t-shirt with a slight V-neck and a silver necklace around his neck. His hair seemed to be freshly cut, an undercut with the longer top hair pushed back with gel.</p><p> </p><p>His gaze caught yours and he turned around fully to stare at you. His golden eyes checking you out, not even trying to be unobtrusive.</p><p>"Damn, you're hot" he smirked, crossing his arms over his ridiculous broad chest.</p><p>"Uhm.. Thank you?" you asked with a raised eyebrow, feeling uncomfortable and disgusted immediately. He just stood still, eyeing you up and down with a mischievous grin on his handsome face.</p><p>"I'm sure lots of guys would kill to get between your legs" he continued, his eyes stuck on the spot where your pencil skirt stopped, right above your knees.</p><p>"E-excuse me??" you stuttered, heat filling your cheeks.</p><p>
  <em>What</em>
  
  <em>the</em>
  <em> fuck was </em>
  <em>wrong</em>
  
  <em>with</em>
  
  <em>that</em>
  <em> guy??</em>
</p><p>Grabbing your purse, you tried to cover up your legs, just to see that his eyes now wandered upwards, where the third button of your tight fitting dress shirt had plopped open. Gasping extremely embarrassed and shocked about his behavior, you turned around to face the wall.</p><p>"Pervert" you whispered, knowing he was now checking out your ass.</p><p>A low chuckle sent shivers down your spine. <br/>"People called me worse" he answered matter-of-factly before, finally, the elevator reached your destination.</p><p> </p><p>Stepping outside in fast steps, you didn't look back as you hastily made your way towards Yachi's office. <br/>Rushing through her door without knocking, you sat down at the chair in front of her desk.</p><p>"Where's the contract? I'm gonna sign it right now. I just met the biggest pervert and I really need something to cheer me up!" Yachi looked at you startled before she handed the papers over to you.</p><p>"Don't you want to read it first? Don't you want us to talk about it first?" Yachi asked, looking troubled. "You shouldn't just-.. Aah!"</p><p>With a quick movement of your hand, you placed a neat sign at the bottom of the papers before you laid them down in front of you.</p><p>"Yes! Now, we can talk!" you smiled, excited to meet your new client. Excited to show Rin how much better you'd do without his ignorant ass.</p><p>"Y-you really just signed.." Yachi stuttered, taking a big sip of her steaming hot coffee.</p><p>"Yes, why not? I've got no time to lose!" you trusted Yachi AND, what was even more important, you were sure, nothing could be worse than what Rin had done.</p><p>"Oh dear God…" Yachi sighed before she straightened in her seat and locked eyes with you.</p><p>"Your contract, as I tried to tell you on the phone!!! Says, you're not just <em>Co-Manager</em> but mostly personal assistant for Bokuto Kotaro." she squeezed her eyes shut, afraid of the incoming rage from you.</p><p>You started laughing but it died down really fast, when you realized Yachi had not been just playing around with you.</p><p>"Wait a second. H-hold on. S-so you're telling me...? Oh God..."</p><p>The guy in the elevator. You had seen his face on the cover of the sports magazines Rin used to read.</p><p>Bokuto Kotaro was not only known for his incredible skills in volleyball but also for having the most Manager transfers ever. He preferred women as managers and as it seemed he loved to tease his managers in extremely rude manners until they quit.<br/>You had heard rumors about him. You had heard stories but you were sure 90 percent of them were made up by the press even now that you had… met him.</p><p>"(Y/N)?" Yachi's worried voice interrupted your thoughts. "Are you alright? Shall I destroy the contract?" she asked, already reaching out for the papers but your hands stopped hers.</p><p>"No…". You whispered, head hanging low. Maybe every single fiber of your body told you not to do it. Your pride screaming at you, scolding you for even considering it. <br/>But what was your alternative? Exactly.. Going back home..</p><p>"Huh??"</p><p>"Listen, Yachi. I heard the news. I read the press. I should be thankful that there's someone who wants to hire me… I messed up with Rin and… you won't find anyone else for me.. At least not before I already moved back to Sendai.. I.." speaking those words were more difficult than you had thought. <br/>"I take the job…"</p><p>"Well, I'm glad, Sexy." the damn voice made you and Yachi jump. Grinning he stood in her door frame before he stepped inside.</p><p>Taking a deep breath you stood from your chair and reached out your hand. Bokuto Kotaro took it, more gentleness in his grip than you had expected. <br/>"Bokuto-san, I'm (L/N) (Y/N), you can call me (Y/N), thank you for taking me"</p><p>Bokuto's grin grew even wider and you cursed, knowing that your choice of words hadn't been the best. But to your surprise, he didn't respond to it.</p><p>"It's a pleasure" he said instead, his thumb stroking your hand gently, but extremely inappropriate.</p><p>"R-right, then… I'll finish your contracts and you're good to go!" Yachi laughed sheepishly, the look in her eyes screaming 'sorry' in your direction. </p><p>Sighing inwardly, you changed phone numbers with Bokuto and thanked him and Yachi again before you left the agency.</p><p>From Manager to personal assistant in one week. Trying to stay calm, you asked yourself what kind of things you'd have to do as his PA. Hopefully the Manager, Mr. Yamiji, would be a nice and decent person. But you somehow knew he wasn't. Since he hadn't been here today to go through the details with you. Normally a manager would do that. The manager would also choose new employees, not just the athlete, especially not when the reputation precedes the athlete…</p><p><em>Look forward. </em><em>You're</em><em> not </em><em>unemployed</em><em>anymore</em><em>. </em><em>You're</em><em>now</em><em> personal </em><em>assistant</em><em> of a </em><em>freaking</em><em>pervert</em><em>. </em><em>That's</em><em> a progress… </em><br/>You tried to cheer yourself up as you drove back to your apartment.</p><p>Thanks to Rin Matsuoka you had fallen deep. At times where you had been Rins Manager people called you, asking you to manage them instead. They offered money, houses, vacations, everything they thought could convince you to work for them.</p><p>Ever since last week when Rin quit, your cellphone had been silent. <br/>And while your phone stood still with offers and nice words of how awesome you were, the press got louder and louder, telling stories about a Lovestory between you and Rin and how you broke his heart so he quit because he couldn't take it anymore.</p><p>There was even a rumor that Rin had abused you and had bought your silence with lots and lots of money.</p><p>The biggest disadvantage in a society like this. Once you reach 'the bottom' it's hard to get back up again.</p><p>All of this left no choice. You had to take the job. And you'd do everything you could to get back into the game again.</p><p>Even if your client was a disgusting, perverted and uncultured swine.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Show-Off</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Early in the morning your phone went off like crazy. </p><p>Ten new messages from Bokuto, two from Yamiji, one from Yachi. </p><p>Yachi apologized again for the situation she'd put you into, although it hadn't been her decision but yours. </p><p>Yamiji asked to meet him at the address he sended since he wanted to hand over Bokuto's spare keys and go through some information with you. </p><p>You weren't sure why you needed Bokuto's keys but you decided to just listen to the things he had to say. </p><p>Bokuto's messages were a lot more annoying. </p><p>He asked you to pick him up for practice, then go to the cleaning department to pick up his suit since he had a date after practice, drive him back home afterwards and then, of course, get him to his date. Also he wanted you to go grocery shopping and to pick up his baby. (his choice of words. Not yours!) </p><p>
  <em>What</em>
  <em> a </em>
  <em>jerk</em>
  <em>… </em>
  <em>Got</em>
  <em> a </em>
  <em>girlfriend</em>
  
  <em>but</em>
  <em> flirts </em>
  <em>with</em>
  
  <em>every</em>
  <em> single woman he sees. </em>
</p><p>Annoyed, angry and just a <em>little</em> bit reluctantly you showered, got into a light blue dress shirt, stuffed it into your high waisted skinny jeans and combined that with some Nike Sneakers, since you'd be up and running all day long… </p><p>Grabbing your purse, you got into your car and drove over to the address Mr. Yamiji had sent you. </p><p> </p><p>Yamiji actually acted nice towards you. He handed over Bokuto's spare keys, his credit card and an identification card hanging on a black, golden lanyard you'd need to wear during games, practices, press conferences and whenever you walked around the Black Jackals stadium, trainingscenter, spa and VIP area. You decided to just keep it on every minute you were working. </p><p>He told you that during the next practice he'd show you around so you'd become familiar with the new place you'd be working on. </p><p>Thankful and somewhat relieved that Yamiji was a nice, decent man, you bowed and said goodbye to him before you went off to pick up Bokuto for practice. </p><p>After a twenty minute drive, you arrived at his address, your mouth standing wide open. This must be the wrong address. </p><p>You had expected an oversized, premium villa with pool, a huge gateway, cameras, the most expensive cars parking outside. Instead you stood in front of a nice, cute wooden house with a neat garden in the front, flowers, greens and trees everywhere surrounding the tiny area that seemed to be Bokuto's home. </p><p>It laid isolated and quiet in a normal area of Tokyo. Where also 'normal' people could afford to live. </p><p>Stunned, you stopped the engine and got off your car, taking the small paved path towards the front door. </p><p><em>I </em><em>must've</em><em>taken</em><em>the</em><em>wrong</em><em> corner at </em><em>some</em><em> point.</em> You thought to yourself when you picked out Bokuto's spare keys and tried to put them into the lock. </p><p>To your surprise it fit and a second later you stood in a very small 'foyer' that could barely hold three people. </p><p>To your left was a stair, leading to the second floor. To your right just a tiny bathroom. Straight ahead you walked into one bigger room which held kitchen, dining and living room in one. </p><p>The kitchen covered the whole left wall and separated itself from the dining area with a small cooking island. In front of the island stood a big wooden table with four chairs. </p><p>On the left with a little space between couch and table were the living area with one big couch and two comfortable looking armchairs facing towards a flat screen. </p><p>Everything was neatly decorated. You were sure he must be living here with a woman. </p><p>Silently walking into the room, you looked around curiously. </p><p>Everywhere in this room were pictures of him with friends, family and his dog, you supposed. The huge, black Labrador was on almost every single of these photographs. On every single one Bokuto was smiling brightly. There was one with a tall, handsome guy in his arm, his black hair curly, just the slightest bit, with vibrant blueish-green eyes. His friend, you guessed, smiled warmly yet not nearly as big and goofy as Bokuto. It seemed to be their graduation. </p><p>Why does everything here looks so freaking normal? You asked yourself, not ready to believe that Bokuto, the pervert you had met yesterday, lived in a decent house like this. You had expected his house to be a show-off. </p><p>Maybe you had been wrong about him.. </p><p>Walking towards the kitchen, you found a picture with him and an older pair when he was little. His grey-black hair longer and standing up in the air, making him look like an horned owl. He had his arms thrown over their shoulders, with him in the middle, squishing their cheeks together. This picture was filled with happiness and love. </p><p>A silent giggle escaped you. </p><p>"You're enjoying your time?" the voice coming from behind you, made you jump in surprise. </p><p>Turning around you faced a smirking, half naked Bokuto, who rubbed his hair dry with a towel while he leaned against the door frame with his boxer briefs sitting way too low for your comfort. </p><p>"Bokuto-san!" clearing your throat, you tried to look everywhere than his impressive, ripped body. </p><p>"You scared me" you laughed sheepishly before you tried to get back to your normal composure. </p><p>"That's funny, cause I live here and I can't remember hearing you knock or something" his eyes were dark and his smirk got playful when he approached you in slow, dangerous steps. </p><p>
  <em>Stay</em>
  <em> professional. Rin </em>
  <em>wasn't</em>
  <em> easy </em>
  <em>either</em>
  <em>. </em>
  <em>You</em>
  
  <em>got</em>
  
  <em>this</em>
  <em>. His just </em>
  <em>another</em>
  
  <em>little</em>
  <em> brat </em>
  <em>your</em>
  <em> age </em>
  <em>you</em>
  <em> have </em>
  <em>to</em>
  <em> take care off! </em>
</p><p>"Mr. Yamiji gave them to me. And since you asked me to pick you up, I decided-"</p><p>"To break into my house without me knowing?" he chuckled as he reached you. He was way too close so you took a step back, but instantly found yourself trapped between him and the kitchen counter. </p><p>"I-, you-... Yes!" fixing your hair, you stood straight and confident, ignoring the freshly washed scent and amazing perfume he was wearing. </p><p>Bokuto chuckled again before he leaned in. </p><p>"Should've kept me company when I was in the shower" </p><p>"Disgusting" you scoffed and pushed him away, surprised how warm and soft his skin felt underneath your hands. Slightly embarrassed you turned your face away. </p><p>"I've heard worse." the pervert waved you off before he turned around and left the room. </p><p>"Make yourself a home" you heard him taking the steps upstairs. </p><p>"You'll be here with me a lot more often from now on. Coffee's in the bottom right from where you're standing."</p><p><em>Wha</em><em>-? </em><em>Who</em><em>-? Huh?</em> </p><p>Crossing your arms in front of your chest, you sighed before you pinched the bridge of your nose shortly. </p><p>This will be a hell of a ride, being this dumbasses personal assistant.. </p><p> </p><p>Ten minutes and no coffee later, Bokuto got into your car, dressed in his sportswear. </p><p>"Ready?" you asked as you put your seatbelt on. </p><p>He grinned at you and winked. </p><p>"Yes, honey" </p><p>Rolling your eyes, you started the engine and drove off. </p><p>The first few minutes were silent between both of you, before you tried to start a normal conversation. </p><p>"Your house is beautiful!" you said, being completely honest. </p><p>You loved your apartment in the middle of the city, but his house felt like a home. Comfy and warm and soothing. </p><p>"Just use it when I'm alone or with family. When I'm with a girl, I take her to the Hotel, ya know? So I don't have to clean the mess we're making. You should join some time" he winked again, proudly, cockily. </p><p>Disgusting. </p><p>
  <em>Nope. I had NOT </em>
  <em>been</em>
  
  <em>wrong</em>
  
  <em>about</em>
  
  <em>him</em>
  <em>! </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Picture</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arriving at the BJ's stadium, you followed him towards the training court, ignoring his ridiculous speech about what women should wear when they'd meet up with him. You felt sorry for the girl, who dated him. The girl you'd need to pick up later.. <br/>When you finally made it to the court, you sighed relieved since you wouldn't be alone with him anymore.</p><p>"Oi, guys!" he yelled to get his teammates attention. All of them taller than you, you felt a little intimidated by their looks and built statues. The swimmers you had been dealing with before had also been giants but they'd never belonged to one team, they had been rivals. Now it was you against a complete team of giants. <br/>Even if just the tiniest bit, you hid behind Bokuto, but snapped out of your little girl attitude and stood straight to greet them.</p><p>Unfortunately though Bokuto had seen you hiding and when his head turned back towards his teammates you saw his damn smug grin. <br/>"Come on, Sexy. Don't be shy" he chuckled, grabbed your wrist and pulled you in front of him.</p><p>Six curious eyes watched you, as Bokuto placed his hands on your shoulders and squeezed them gently. <br/>"This is my new girl, (Y/N). I want you to be nice to her. But not too nice since she's mine" he explained cockily and laughed which made you push his hands away in disgust. Turning and raising your head to look up at him, you knitted your eyebrows in disapproval.</p><p>"Tz, shut up, Bokuto-san." you spat and took two big steps away from him. Some of them chuckled but gave you a warm, comforting smile. <br/>"Hi, I'm (Y/N), and I'm Bokuto-san's new personal assistant" bowing politely, you didn't expect two hands grabbing yours and squeezing them friendly. Looking back up they belonged to an orange haired guy with beautiful brown eyes.</p><p>"Oah, it's so nice to meet you! You're so pretty!" the guy cheered. He was the smallest of them. Maybe even the youngest as well. His features were pure and soft. <br/>Embarrassed and surprised you laughed nervously. <br/>"Ahem, uhm… thank you, uh-?"</p><p>"Oh, sorry! I'm Hinata. Hinata Shoyo. You can call me Shoyo!" he gave you a big toothy grin.</p><p>"N-nice to meet you, Shoyo" you answered, confused and baffled about his lively being.</p><p>"Hinata, you can't jump her like this. It's her first day!" another guy scolded him. Shoyo let go of you and stepped aside, not losing his smile though.</p><p>The voice who'd scolded him belonged to a guy with dirty blond hair and an undercut, just like Bokuto's. His dark brown eyes fixated on you as he approached you.</p><p>"I'm Miya Atsumu, nice to meet you. I hope Kotaro is treating you nicely." he reached out his hand and you took it.</p><p>
  <em>Thank</em>
  
  <em>God</em>
  <em>, at least one normal person…</em>
</p><p>"The other girls were insanely hot too, but damn, you're even better!" wiggling his big eyebrows, he nodded towards Bokuto afterwards as a sign of approval.</p><p>
  <em>Nevermind</em>
  <em>…</em>
</p><p>"Thank you.." you murmured, suppressing a deep, desperate sigh.</p><p>
  <em>How should </em>
  <em>you</em>
  <em> deal </em>
  <em>with</em>
  
  <em>this</em>
  
  <em>every</em>
  
  <em>day</em>
  <em>?</em>
</p><p>You heard Bokuto's loud laugh saying your name and something about a number 12 from Atsumu, but you ignored it.</p><p>The last guy that had already arrived, had thick, black, curly hair, black eyes and a mask covering half of his face. He seemed quite uncomfortable and nervous seeing you.</p><p>"Nice to meet you" he murmured barely for you to hear before he turned away and started jogging. Hinata followed him and shortly after Atsumu did the same.</p><p>"That's Sakusa. He doesn't like new people, but he's a good guy!" Bokuto explained to you. <br/>"The coach's not here yet, so can we go through the day for a sec?"</p><p>
  <em>One </em>
  <em>whole</em>
  
  <em>sentence</em>
  
  <em>without</em>
  <em> a rude </em>
  <em>comment</em>
  <em>?</em>
</p><p>"Uh, sure" <br/>Bokuto sat down and patted the spot next him. Taking the seat, you picked out your journal, ready to write down what you needed to do for him.</p><p>"So practice will be done in five hours. You can watch me, if you want to or you could do some things for me. Though I'd prefer you watching me" he grinned again, his arms resting on his knees.</p><p>"What is it that I could to for you?" you asked, ignoring the comment about watching his practice.</p><p>Bokuto sighed and ran a hand through his freshly washed hair. You had to admit, he looked really handsome and the undercut looked so smooth, that you wondered how soft his hair might be.</p><p>"Alright… Well, I'm not good at eating properly nor healthy, so I want you to go grocery shopping for me. Healthy shit, some vegetables, meat, you know? Then I need my suit tonight. And also… I need someone to pick up my baby, as I texted you this morning already."</p><p>"Where do I pick up your '<em>baby</em>'" you over exaggerated the word since you couldn't help but feel again disgusted by him.</p><p>The man turned around to face you and smirked. <br/>"I'll send you the address. I want her to be here when you pick me up after practice"</p><p>Raising an eyebrow, you wrote down the ingredients you'd buy for him and closed the journal after you'd showed him what you would get.</p><p>"Put some condoms on the list. I have date tonight" he said as he stood up and stretched.</p><p>"Alright…" shaking your head, you added them to your list before you stood as well. <br/>"Is that all?"</p><p>Bokuto gave you another smirk and nodded, watching his teammates taking their fifth round.</p><p>"I'll text you the address soon. Gotta go, Sexy" with that he turned around and joined his teammates, getting greeted by Hinata with a big smile.</p><p> </p><p>On your way back to the car, you crossed the other teammates, all of them smiling or nodding at you.</p><p>"So, that's Bokuto's number 12" you heard one of them say. Confused you turned around to face them but they acted as if nothing happened.</p><p>
  <em>Fucking </em>
  <em>morons</em>
  <em>.. </em>
  <em>What's</em>
  
  <em>with</em>
  
  <em>this</em>
  
  <em>number</em>
  <em> 12 shit?</em>
</p><p>Straightening your back once more, you decided to ignore them. You approached your car with fast steps and drove off. </p><p> </p><p>After picking up his suit and going grocery shopping, you brought the ingredients back to his home. <br/>Wandering through his house after putting the food away, you went into his bedroom to pick out a tie that would fit with his suit. His bedroom wasn't huge at all. It was held in a nice, clean white with light grey furniture and a black king sized bed. <br/>Since he didn't have much clothing, nor a huge closet, like Rin had had, you got through his clothes really fast.</p><p>After finding a tie you thought he would like, you found yourself staring at another photograph standing on his nightstand.</p><p>It was a picture of him in his old High School jersey sitting in a locker room. His head faced his feet. He looked extremely exhausted, sweaty and tired. But something was off in this picture. <br/>Taking a closer look, you narrowed your eyes to see the expression on his face. And the moment you saw it, you gasped silently.</p><p>
  <em>Was he… Is he crying?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Who would take a photo of Bokuto crying? Who would send him a picture like this? Those tears weren't tears of joy. They were tears of defeat, embarrassment and pain.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Why keep a picture like this? And why even frame it, to put it on your nightstand where it'd be the first thing to see after waking up?</em>
</p><p>Softly grazing the picture with your fingertips, you suddenly felt incredibly sad. Not that you started to empathize with Bokuto now. But still… Why did he cry and why did he frame it? </p><p> </p><p>Your phone buzzing, stopped your train of thoughts and you put the picture back before looking at your screen.</p><p>Bokuto had send you the address from where you should pick up his 'baby'. <br/>Sighing you took one last glance at the picture before you left his bedroom and took the stairs to the first floor. <br/>Grabbing your keys and your purse, while carrying a pair of socks, the tie and his shoes, you made your way to your car and drove to the address, Bokuto had send.</p><p>It was weird. Seeing these pictures in his home and then seeing him acting like a total douchebag in real life. It was as if Bokuto was two completely different persons. Did he maybe have a twin brother?</p><p>
  <em>No, </em>
  <em>that's</em>
  <em> not </em>
  <em>it</em>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>Sure, as a kid people were different, but compared to him now, this was a turn from over 180 degrees.</p><p>
  <em>He </em>
  <em>looked</em>
  <em> so kind </em>
  <em>and</em>
  
  <em>nice</em>
  
  <em>and</em>
  <em> happy </em>
  <em>as</em>
  <em> a kid </em>
  <em>and</em>
  <em> teenager! </em>
  <em>What</em>
  <em> had </em>
  <em>happened</em>
  
  <em>that</em>
  <em> he </em>
  <em>now</em>
  
  <em>acted</em>
  <em> like a </em>
  <em>freaking</em>
  
  <em>asshole</em>
  <em>?</em>
</p><p>"Why the hell do I even care…" you said to yourself while stopping the car in front of a huge villa. </p><p>His girl must be a model or something, you thought judging by the crazy ass house in front of you.</p><p>Pressing the doorbell, you were pretty curious to meet Bokuto Kotaro's girlfriend. Would she be nice? Would she be a bitch? How would a girl Bokuto loved look like? <br/>You were sure she'd be the typical stereotype of a woman that was a famous man's girlfriend. Tall, blond, skinny, outstandingly beautiful.</p><p>An elder woman opened the door and you tilted your head, confused.</p><p>"H-hello Ms. I'm (Y/N), Bokuto-san's new PA and I'm here to pick up Ms. Samantha" you said politely while bowing.</p><p>
  <em>Samantha. Even a girl </em>
  <em>from</em>
  
  <em>abroad</em>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>"Oh my Dear! You're his new girl, huh? And such a sweet one as well!! Don't take him too serious and I'm sure you two will get along pretty well" the elder woman smiled at you amused and turned around.</p><p>"Samantha!"</p><p>Even more confused than before, you awaited a soft voice responding. But instead you heard loud noises in the back of the house, before out of nowhere the huge, black labrador you had seen on his pictures came running towards you and almost making you fall over, when she tried to jump you.</p><p>"Sa-Samantha is a dog?" you asked in disbelief, petting the excited animal lovingly.</p><p>The elder lady laughed wholeheartedly. <br/>"He made you believe, Sam was a girl, right?"</p><p>Nodding you joined her laughing, relieved that you didn't have to deal with a spoiled brat, who'd eye you up and down every two seconds.</p><p>"I'm taking care of her when Kotaro is busy and his family is out of town." she explained and handed over a leash, some food and a toy.</p><p>"Oh! I see" you smiled, Sam watching you closely, sniffing everywhere.</p><p> </p><p>After telling the elder lady goodbye, you led the dog into your car and made your way back to the stadium.</p><p>Sam was a well trained dog. She sat next to you, silent and sweet, sometimes sniffing on your hand or your car. She didn't bark, not once, just waited for you to bring her wherever you wanted to. </p><p>"Are you ready to pick up your daddy?" you asked Sam and immediately her tail started to wag excitedly.</p><p>Giggling you stopped in the parking lot. <br/>"Then let's go" </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With Sam happily strolling next to you, a bag full of clothes in one hand and the other carrying his suit, you met Shoyo halfway towards the court. </p><p>He was already about to leave when he waved at you and stopped in front of you. </p><p>"Hey, (Y/N)!! Hi Sam!" the redhead said, patting Sam's head. "Bokuto-san is still in the locker room. The others are already gone. He told me, if I see you, you should meet him in the locker room" Shoyo smiled brightly. </p><p>"Thank you, Shoyo! Get home safely, alright?" you returned the smile, deciding that you liked him. </p><p>"Don't worry, my boyfriends picking me up" his smile grew even wider. </p><p>Surprised, you opened and closed your mouth but Shoyo was already running past you. Turning around to follow him with your eyes, you saw him hugging a tall, dark haired guy who looked as if he hated everything in this world. But when Shoyo kissed him, his features softened. </p><p><em>Cute</em>.. You thought, before you kept walking on. <br/><br/><br/></p><p>Bokuto was waiting for you in the locker rooms in his jogger, hair still wet. </p><p>Shirtless. Of course.</p><p>When Sam entered the room, he stood from the bench, and got on one knee to pat his dog lovingly and extensively. </p><p>Laughing when the old lady dog licked his face, jumping up and down, trying to run him over. </p><p>Watching Bokuto like this, sincerely happy, he looked like the younger version of him you had seen on the pictures. </p><p>"Thanks for picking her up, Sexy" he nodded in your direction with a faint smile, petting Sam's head. </p><p>"No problem!" you waved it off. It was your job after all. </p><p>"So. I got your suit ready" you explained, carefully putting it down on the bench next to him. </p><p>A short silence followed, where you waited for new instructions. </p><p>Bokuto held your gaze until it became embarrassing to you and you turned away. </p><p>He chuckled. </p><p>"And now you wanna help me take it on?" he teased, wiggling his eyebrows. </p><p>"No! I'm waiting in the car!" you snapped, turned on your heels and left. <br/><br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Ten minutes later, he and Sam got into the car, looking like a completely different person. </p><p>The dark red dress shirt underneath his jacket fit him incredibly well, the black tie adding to this professional look. </p><p>His hair was gelled back in gentle curls. An earring glistened on his earlobe, a big watch on his wrist he adjusted his sleeves before he caught you staring. </p><p>Showing off his typical smirk again, he chuckled. </p><p>"Like what you see?" he asked. </p><p>"I have to admit for once you do not look like a complete idiot" you retorted. </p><p>Bokuto hissed dramatically as if he was generously hurt but started laughing soon after. </p><p>"One day you will admit that you think I'm handsome. I can see it in your eyes, Sexy. And.." he eyed you up and down. </p><p>"You'd be the perfect girl on my side, since you're hot as fuck" </p><p>"Stop that shit, Bokuto-san. Don't you have a date in a few minutes?" raising your eyebrow, you started the engine. </p><p>To your surprise and horror, Bokuto leaned in, his breath tickling your neck. </p><p>"It's just a date, honey. I'm not marrying her" he whispered and it took every single bit of will to stop your body from shivering. </p><p>You wouldn't want to see that he actually did have an effect on you. </p><p>Oh no, you couldn't let this happen. </p><p>"That poor, poor girl.." you just sighed, trying to look unimpressed by his actions when you drove off. </p><p>"Oh and could you take care of Sam for me tonight?" </p><p>"Are you kidding me??" <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Having lost the argument with Bokuto you brought Sam to your apartment, hoping she would be okay with your home. </p><p>But the second she entered with you, she laid down your couch, closing her eyes comfortably. </p><p>You filled her a bowl with water and the food, the elder lady had given to you. </p><p>You promised her to pet her lots and lots when you got back home, Sam answered fawning her tail excitedly. </p><p>When you got into your car again, for the 20th time today, Bokuto had made himself comfortable on your backseat. </p><p>At your raised eyebrow, he chuckled. </p><p>"What? Wanna join me? I can still cancel the date."</p><p>"Tz.." shaking your head, you made your way to pick up the girl he would meet. </p><p>Soon you had picked her up and had to listen to Bokuto's typical teasing and flirting. You shook your head almost every minute, since the girl giggled, blushed and fell for all of his really cheesy pick up lines. </p><p>It was almost funny to see what an easy game this was for Bokuto. </p><p>Advantages of being a pro player, you guessed. </p><p>Taking them to one of Tokyo most famous restaurants, both of them got out off the car but Bokuto stuck his head back in to tell you, this could take a little longer and you could go home. He would text you, when he needed to be picked up again. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Sitting on your couch with a glass of wine in your hand while petting Sam's ear gently, you started to realize just how your life would look like from now on. </p><p>You weren't the successful manager anymore. You'd now be the person who'd organize Bokuto's documents, drive him wherever he wanted to, get him whatever he needed, becoming a slave to a person you didn't even like. </p><p>What a downfall. What a mess. </p><p>You weren't ready to see the press ripping you apart as soon as they had new content to spread about you. They already knew you were Bokuto's new assistant and it wouldn't take them long to find something else to write about you. Something embarrassing, something cruel, something that could ruin your reputation within one second.  </p><p>Even if it was just a picture of you playing Bokuto Kotaro's chauffeur. </p><p>But you had no choice. Either this or going back home. <br/><br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>At 1am, you had already fallen asleep on your couch with Sam lying next to you, Bokuto called you, asking you to pick him up. Redoing your hair, you slipped in the car shortly after and drove over, not expecting his date to join him. </p><p>The girl in her early twenties was as drunk as Bokuto was. And if that wasn't the worst thing about it, they started making out in the back of your car. </p><p>And soon your car was filled with giggles, moans and dirty words Bokuto 'whispered' in her ear. </p><p>Disgusted you hoped, you'd arrive at the hotel really fast. </p><p>Soon, but not soon enough, you finally reached your destination. Both of them stumbled out of the car, Bokuto's face smeared with lipstick. </p><p>"Oi, Sexy. I'll call you tomorrow! See ya" he winked at you before he closed the door behind him. </p><p>Back at home you fell into your bed, exhausted, still disgusted and shocked about what had just happened in the back of your car. </p><p>Although you'd never admit it, but you couldn't stop your eyes from shifting towards the rear view mirrors. Seeing Bokuto lying on top of the girl, his hands underneath her short dress, digging into her thighs, his lips devouring hers. </p><p>No. You would never admit you'd done that. </p><p>Never. </p><p>To no one. </p><p>Maybe you'd just done that because you hadn't had someone close to you for a long, long time… </p><p>The last one had been Sosuke after a night out with Rin's friends… </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Crack</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning around 8am, you stood in a parking lot in front of the hotel where you had left Bokuto and his date the other night.</p><p>Looking into your phone, you didn't notice Bokuto coming out through the front gates of the hotel. <br/>The door opened and you jumped since you had been deep in thoughts.</p><p>"Morning, Sexy" Bokuto grinned at you, his hair still wet, the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled up. Throwing the jacket onto the back seats, he got comfortable next to you. When he bend over to do so, you could see love bites on his neck and you grimaced.</p><p><em>He's</em><em> not even </em><em>the</em><em>slightest</em><em> bit </em><em>worried</em><em>that</em><em>someone</em><em>could</em><em> see </em><em>those</em>! You thought.</p><p>"Morning Bokuto-san, how are you feeling today?" you answered politely, trying not to react on the love marks he seemed to wear proudly.</p><p>Bokuto's grin grew even wider at your question. He took a deep, relaxed breath before answering.</p><p>"Man, that girl was a Yoga teacher. She was flexible as fuck and damn I could take her in so many different po-"</p><p>"THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW!!" you yelled to make him stop talking. Flustered and even a little red in the face now, you shook your head in disgust and embarrassment to get rid of the things he had told you.</p><p>Instead of going on, like you had thought he would, he started laughing loudly, patting your shoulder gently.</p><p>"I'll tell you next time then. Or you could join!" he suggested slyly, making you shiver in disapproval.</p><p>"No!!"</p><p>Another laugh from Bokuto followed and you started the engine, driving out off the parking lot.</p><p>"Oh! We need to stop by the drugstore!" the man next to you said urgently.</p><p>Tilting your head in thought, you gave him a quick glance. Thankful for the change in topic. <br/>"What do you need, Bokuto-san?"</p><p>"Condoms" he shortly answered, not in the slightest bit embarrassed about it.</p><p>"I just bought some yesterday!" you scolded him, taking the next corner with ease.</p><p>"They're empty." he chuckled while his chest swelled with pride.</p><p>"Th-there were ten condoms in there! What did you do with them?" you asked, baffled, shocked and deeply scandalized.</p><p>Bokuto smirked dirtily, his hand somehow now resting on your thigh. <br/>He leaned a bit over to you, his breath brushing your ear.</p><p>"I'm a hungry man" he whispered with a deep voice.</p><p>"Ew!!! Get your hands off of me!!!" pushing his hands away, you yelled at him, not knowing what to say about this kind of.. Behavior.</p><p>Bokuto didn't answer. He just leaned back in his seat and chuckled, seemingly satisfied with himself.</p><p><em>I </em><em>hate</em><em>him</em><em>.</em> <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Working for Bokuto became a habit faster than you would've ever imagined. <br/>It was almost terrifying how fast you got used to it. <br/>His behavior didn't change, as well as your 'feelings' for him. You just learned how to handle him and acted way more relaxed with his asshole attitude.</p><p>During the first month Bokuto seemed to try how far he could go with the things he asked you to do for him.</p><p>You almost did everything. From helping him cleaning his house, to organizing his clothes, baking cookies for him or cooking his favorite food, going for walkies with Sam when his family couldn't take her, buying lots… And lots of condoms… getting rid of every single inquiry to market their brand, driving him from A to B, even washing his dirty clothes after practice. <br/>Why? You weren't sure. Yes, you still hadn't lost your dignity. But you had always been a person to work with everything you had, doing everything as best as possible.</p><p>Whenever he started to imply something sexual though, he earned a hard slap on his shoulder from you. And this happened lots of times. He even did that when his date was sitting right next to him. <br/>His groupies seemed to spread the word, since now every single girl watched you closely, eyes filled with endless hatred.</p><p>As if they hadn't done that before. You, of all people, were his personal assistant and you'd see, learn and do more with him than any of these girls could ever dream of. <br/>At least when it didn't include sexual interactions.</p><p>You didn't care about it. You were a professional after all. And it wasn't like you had any feelings for that asshole you happened to be the PA for. <br/>Bokuto wasn't even a friend. He was just a client. And you were happy with that. Relationships, feelings, friendships and all that stuff would only make things difficult. And as long as you could handle Bokuto, you were fine. <br/>He was a handful, but you realized within the first week, that you could only learn from your new job.</p><p>Up until now, you had not been watching him practice nor had you attend one of his games yet. <br/>One reason was that you didn't care about it and knew he didn't need you there, the other reason was that you just couldn't help but like to tease him whenever you rejected his offer of watching him. <br/>It wasn't like he asked nicely or as if he'd care you'd go. <br/>That annoying smirk on his face whenever he said '<em>I'd</em><em> love </em><em>to</em><em> see </em><em>you</em><em> see </em><em>me</em><em> playing, Sexy'</em> just was enough for you to raise an eyebrow and answer with a bored '<em>no, </em><em>thanks</em>'.</p><p>You would lie if you'd say, you hated being his personal assistant. But you also couldn't answer 'yes', if someone asked you if Bokuto was nice to work with.</p><p>After now a month and a half you knew your daily tasks pretty well. Picking him up for practice, grocery shopping, organizing documents, inquiries and contracts of future advertisement partners. Then meeting up with Yamiji at his practice to go through newest business developments, important meetings and appointments.</p><p>On this exact day, a really excruciatingly hot one, Yamiji handed over a list of appointments Bokuto had later while he and his team were inside the stadium, practicing.</p><p>Yamiji shook his head as he pointed towards the first appointment after practice. A photo shooting with Calvin Klein. <br/>The man in his early 50s must be extremely tired of taking care of a guy like Bokuto, you thought to yourself as you watched him closely.</p><p>He looked tired, his kind eyes always on the brink of shutting.</p><p>"Mr. Yamiji" you said carefully, taking the papers he was holding in your direction. <br/>"Are you okay?"</p><p>The elder man nodded, the corner of his lips slightly moving upwards into a tired smile. <br/>"He's a good person" he said, reading the words between your lines. <br/>"He really is. Trust me. He just…" carefully searching for the right words, he scratched his beard. "... Needs a little push in the right direction I guess" shrugging his shoulders, it seemed as if Yamiji was done with the topic already.</p><p>Not answering further questions, you just nodded, your eyes skimming the papers in your hand.</p><p>"So a photo shooting, physical therapy and a dinner with the team. All of this today?" you asked and looked back up.</p><p>Yamiji nodded. <br/>"Were Matsuoka's days less stressful?"</p><p>Thinking about it, Rin's days had indeed been quieter than Bokuto's.</p><p>"Yes" you answered, tilting your head in thought. "He didn't have that much business partners, just one big one and he never had that much… Dates"</p><p>Yamiji chuckled knowingly.<br/>"You have any further questions?"</p><p>Shaking your head, you followed him into stadium, since practice would be over by now. <br/><br/><br/></p><p>"Have you ever went to a photo shooting with Matsuoka?" Bokuto asked while sitting in the car, playing with his phone.</p><p>"Of course I did. I was his Manager" you answered shortly before stopping at a red light.</p><p>Bokuto's face turned into a grin. <br/>"Then you'll come to mine as well?"</p><p>"I'll pass. You won't be as good as Rin was anyway" you teased, waiting for his comeback.</p><p>But instead he pouted. <br/>He really pouted!<br/>He had his arms folded in front of his chest, looking at you like a kid who's ice cream had fallen onto the ground. Even his styled hair looked like it deflated somehow. <br/>It was something so unnatural and weird to see this cute expression on this bastards face, that you started laughing loudly.</p><p>"Are you mad at me now?" keeping your eyes on him, he turned his head away from you.</p><p>"Tz" Bokuto hissed, concentrating on the road.</p><p><em>Did</em><em> I hit a spot here?</em> You thought still not able to stop laughing. <em>He's</em><em> just messing </em><em>with</em><em>me</em><em> again, </em><em>right</em><em>? </em><br/>You wanted to stay by your decision but something about his aura had changed. The normal strong, independent, 'I-don't-give-a-fuck' attitude was gone. And instead there was something vulnerable about him. It reminded you of Rin whenever he lost a tournament.</p><p>"Okay, look, I'm sorry, Bokuto-san" you apologized, only a slight giggle left now. <br/>"I'll come watch you!" </p><p>Within seconds his expression turned from hurt to mischievous again, the smirk so bright, you wondered if his face hurt.</p><p>"But don't blame me if you fall for me after that, Sexy" he wiggled his eyebrows at you. A 180 degrees turn within less than 10 seconds.</p><p><em>Impressive</em>.</p><p>The light turned green and you kept driving towards the studio.</p><p>"Pf, haha! As if!" you laughed at him again before you turned into a corner.</p><p>The teasing was actually fun to you. It wasn't easy to handle him and you had never seen his mouth saying one normal, decent sentence.</p><p>But today he had actually shown you a new side of him. It was kind of goofy and so uncharacteristic for him to be pouting because you had teased him. Normally he'd just wave it off, say something even worse or just laugh it off. <br/>But not this time. Taking a secret glance at him, you saw him smiling again, satisfied with himself and relaxed. <br/>But there was something different in his expression this time. You just didn't understand what it was.</p><p>Why being hurt in a situation like this? Was there something that really bothered him? Something he couldn't handle well?</p><p>Thinking of the pictures in his house, especially the one where he was crying, you fell silent for the rest of the drive.</p><p>Remembering Yamiji's words, you sighed inwardly, suddenly sorry for what you had said. '<em>He's</em><em> a good guy. He just </em><em>needs</em><em> a push in </em><em>the</em><em>right</em><em>direction</em><em>'. </em><br/>What did he mean by that? And why did you care? Maybe because you had never seen Bokuto like that before and it was terrifying to see him like this. <br/>Maybe deep inside, he was still the nice guy from when he was younger as you assumed he'd been. Maybe he even wasn't the confident guy he showed to the outside.</p><p>Maybe he was wearing a mask, showing people only what he wanted them to see. <br/>And he had managed to go with it for a long time.</p><p>But without you realizing, this mask started to crack right in front of you.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Picture Perfect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Uuugh, you're doing so great, Bokuto-san! Give me more, yes! Like this! Raawr!" the photographer cheered for your client who stood in front of a white wall, wearing nothing but the newest Calvin Klein underwear. </p><p><em>Sure he had </em><em>to</em><em> pick out these kind of shootings</em>, you thought shaking your head. </p><p>You had hoped for CK's amazing suit collections, or even casual clothing but no. </p><p>For half an hour now, Bokuto stood in front of the camera, posing however the photographer wanted him to. Showing off his ridiculously buff figure, stretching his muscles here and there. </p><p>While you were sitting behind the camera next to the Makeup Artist, who almost started drooling watching him. </p><p>To your surprise in the studio you were the only woman. All the others were guys, obviously interested in the scene in front of them. </p><p>"Konoha-Chan, would you please add more eyeliner? It's barely noticeable on camera and I need his beautiful eyes to pop!" the photographer, Rei Ryugazaki told his colleague, fixing his glasses. His purple orbs glistened with excitement and passion for his job as he proudly watched his model for the day. </p><p>"Sure!" the said man with dirty blonde hair made his way towards Bokuto, giggling into his fist when Bokuto whispered something. </p><p>Watching them with a raised eyebrow, you were extremely surprised how kind, nice and sweet Bokuto acted around the guys. </p><p>He was a complete gentleman, not one smirk crossing his face unless his eyes shifted in your direction. </p><p>Another new side of him, you weren't at all used to. </p><p>Konoha sighed dramatically when he stepped back, eyeing his work on Bokuto. </p><p>"Perfect, handsome!" he praised himself before he went back to sit down next to you. </p><p>Rei smiled in approval before he continued to give Bokuto instructions. </p><p>"Now, Bokuto-san, I want you to lean your head back, just a little. Yes! Exactly like that! Put your left arm above your head, the right one tugged into the… Yeess, god damn, I need a drink after this. Now turn your body slightly and look at me. Sweet baby Jesus! You're the embodiment of grace!"</p><p>Bokuto hold his position for some time, even playing with the camera. The thumb tugged into the underwear, he slightly pulled them down, increasing the view of the V he had, followed by extremely defined abs and pecs. </p><p>Not that you were looking at him all the time. Still the ridiculously tight underwear left almost nothing to the imagination and you felt extremely uncomfortable and embarrassed to see him like this. </p><p>If this wasn't bad enough, Bokuto caught your face heating up and smirked satisfied. His lips slightly parted, he licked his lips, before he turned his eyes back to the camera. </p><p>"Alright, five minutes break, y'all!" Rei said, clapping his hands after some minutes passed. </p><p>Taking a look at the time, you opened your journal to check on his next appointment. </p><p>"My, my! Who would've thought, that I would make you blush like this" Bokuto's teasing voice was suddenly very close. Raising your head a little, you met his crotch right in front of you. </p><p>Covering your eyes, you grimaced. </p><p>"Could you at least get into your robe at first?" annoyed, yet flustered again, you tried to suppress the urge to go red. </p><p>A chuckle left him and you heard some rustling and shifting. </p><p>"It's fine now, Sexy" he said and you let your hands drop to see him in his robes sitting on Konoha's chair. </p><p>"We should go out some time" he smirked after a short silence. </p><p>"I can't take a man serious who's wearing more Make-up than I do." you retorted dryly, not giving him much space to encounter. <em>When</em><em>would</em><em> he finally stop </em><em>asking</em><em>me</em><em>that</em><em>?</em> </p><p>"And if I wouldn't wear Make-up?" Bokuto's deep voice now near your ear, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer. "Would you then go out with me?" </p><p>Pushing his arm away and standing up, you knitted your eyebrows in annoyance. </p><p>"Hell nah!" </p><p>Bokuto chuckled before he sighed and stood as well. </p><p>"Whenever you're ready for me, tell me. I know, you like me" he answered before letting his robe drop carelessly to the floor and went back in front of the camera. </p><p><em>This</em><em> stupid </em><em>son</em><em> of a </em><em>bitch</em>… you cursed him under your breath, embarrassed at how he played with you and how he had managed to get you flustered. </p><p>And how could he dare claiming that you liked him?? <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>"Thank you guys so much." Bokuto bowed politely after the photo shoot was over. </p><p>Surprised you stood beside him, shaking hands with Rei and Konoha, thanking them for their time and effort. </p><p>"I had lots of fun. I hope we're going to work together soon!" a warm smile was plastered on his face when he took Rei's hand into his own to press a gentle kiss on the back. </p><p>Rei looked like he would faint any second. His face and ears were a bright red, his body slightly trembling in nervousness and positive shock, while Konoha looked extremely jealous. </p><p>Realising Konoha's expression, Bokuto didn't wait long until he kissed the back of his hand as well. And Konoha froze. </p><p>"I can't wait to see you guys again" </p><p>Speechless, you watched this strange guy next you. </p><p>
  <em>What</em>
  <em> had </em>
  <em>gotten</em>
  
  <em>into</em>
  
  <em>him</em>
  <em>? Was </em>
  <em>this</em>
  <em> his </em>
  <em>honest</em>
  
  <em>behavior</em>
  
  <em>right</em>
  
  <em>now</em>
  <em>? Or was he just </em>
  <em>extremely</em>
  <em> good at </em>
  <em>acting</em>
  <em>?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Who</em>
  <em> was </em>
  <em>that</em>
  <em> guy? </em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Sitting in the car to drive him towards his physical therapy appointment, you still had no idea how to react to this side of him. </p><p>No inappropriate word had left his lips during the shoot. No comment about sex, no suggestivenesses. Just plain, polite, sweet manners. Bokuto had been the gentleman everyone dreamed of. </p><p>This side was much more like the Bokuto you had seen on the pictures. </p><p>Why not sticking to this way but choosing the cocky prick instead? </p><p>"Oi, Sexy. When are the shots ready?" he asked, rubbing the eyeliner from his eyes. </p><p>"Rei-San said in a week. Shall I pick them up for you?" although you asked, you had already noted it in your journal. </p><p>"Nah, I'll do it myself" he said, shifting until he sat comfortably in his seat. </p><p>"Oh?! Okay!" trying not sound too surprised, you failed miserably. </p><p>But it was no wonder, you were surprised. </p><p>Bokuto had never asked to do something like this by himself after all. Since he didn't have much time to do so, but he seemed to like to make time for that. </p><p>You decided to not question it any further, since he kept silent after your reaction. </p><p>"I was surprised, you could be such a gentleman. It was kinda nice to see you like that!" you said instead, smiling while facing the street. </p><p>Bokuto looked at you, hissing. </p><p>"Tz, yeah. Right."</p><p>And again, he surprised you. The way he had said it, was cold and repellent. Even sarcastic in an annoyed way. </p><p><em>What's</em><em>wrong</em><em>with</em><em>him</em><em>today</em>? You asked yourself and kept silent after that. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>"Imma text you when dinner is over. Bye" Bokuto said, still wearing this weird tone in his voice. Ever since you had asked him about how kind he had acted with the photographer and his team, he hadn't said any other word. </p><p>There was something, you seemed to miss. Something you didn't understand. And although you tried not to, you found yourself curios what the reason for all of this was. </p><p>Maybe he had just a bad day today. But somehow you were sure that this wasn't the reason. </p><p>Thinking of the situation on your way to the photo shoot, you remembered that something about his smile had been off. It seemed not as bright as normal. It almost seemed fake, not reaching his eyes. </p><p>You had no idea what happened inside of Bokuto's head. But you knew for sure, that the man called Bokuto Kotaro did not make sense to you at all. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>With Shoyo's and Atsumu's help, you finally managed to get Bokuto into your car. He was so drunk, he couldn't even stand anymore. </p><p>"How did he get so drunk?" you asked out of breath. </p><p>"It's <em>that</em> day again, ya know?" Atsumu slurred before Shoyo punched him with his elbow. </p><p>"What day?" you asked curiously. </p><p>"Sorry, (Y/N)-chan, I can't tell you.. It's Bokuto-san's personal stuff and.. -" Shoyo seemed troubled, not wanting to be impolite to both you and Bokuto. </p><p>"N-no! It's fine! I get that!" you reassured him and smiled. </p><p>Taking the seat belt onto him after getting into the car yourself, Bokuto's head fell down, resting comfortably on your shoulder. </p><p>"Bokuto-san, we need to get you home first. Then you can sleep, okay?" you said, worried as hell. </p><p>It had happened before that a drunk Bokuto had asked you to pick him up. But today he looked so bad, you couldn't help but worry. </p><p>Instead of answering, or moving, he just groaned and wrapped his arms around you. </p><p>Flustered, you searched for help. </p><p>"Sh-shoyo, would you-?" </p><p>Shoyo nodded excitedly, wearing a red tint on his cute face as well, before he put Bokuto's arms away from you and sat him back straight. </p><p>"Thank you" you breathed, starting the engine again. </p><p>Shoyo gave you a worried smile. </p><p>"Are you sure you can handle him from now on?" </p><p>Nodding, you returned the smile. </p><p>"If he's going to fall asleep in the car, I'll park him in front of my apartment." you laughed and Shoyo closed the door. </p><p>Letting the window down, he leaned forward one last time. </p><p>"If you need help, call me! Bokuto-san has my number on his phone. I guess I'm saved under 'Number One Disciple'." Shoyo laughed proudly. "Get home safely" </p><p>"I will" you said, giving Shoyo a warm smile. "You too!" </p><p>With that Shoyo stepped back and waved you as you drove off. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Reaching his house, you sighed gratefully. Bokuto had been sleeping the whole way down here. </p><p>But now you somehow how to get him into the house. </p><p>Leaning over his sleeping body, you carefully poked him. He looked so peaceful in his sleep so vulnerable and sweet. His head had fallen to your side during the drive home, some of his gelled hair messily fell down his face. </p><p>"Bokuto-san, we're home" you whispered softly, not wanting to roughly rip him out of his sleep. </p><p>He stirred and wrinkled his forehead before he groaned and slowly opened his eyes to meet your gaze. </p><p>In this exact moment when those bright, golden orbs met yours, your heart skipped a beat and all air left your lungs. </p><p>For a second that felt like an eternity, you just looked at each other and your heart started racing. Bokuto's eyes fell down to your lips then back up to your eyes. </p><p>No one said a word, none of you dared to move. </p><p>Until Bokuto closed his eyes and leaned forward. </p><p>Starting to panic, you pulled away. </p><p>"S-sorry, Bokuto-san. W-we should get you inside" </p><p>Realizing he had just met air instead of your luscious lips, he opened his eyes again. Nodding slowly, he shifted in his seat until he had moved towards the door. </p><p>Getting out of the car fastly, you helped him out. </p><p>To your surprise he let you support him, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, while your arms held him tightly around his waist. </p><p>Damn, he was heavy. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Somehow you managed to open the door, getting him upstairs to his bedroom and then falling into his bed with him. </p><p>Completely out of breath, you rolled out of his grip and stood back up. </p><p>"Don't… Don't go.." Bokuto whispered, his voice almost begging you. </p><p>Smiling, tired and relieved that you had gotten him into bed, you sat back down again. </p><p>"I won't, Bokuto-san. I was just about to get you some water and painkillers for tomorrow morning."</p><p>You really hadn't intended to leave, since you couldn't leave him here all alone in this state. You wouldn't sleep the whole night, worrying if he'd choke in his sleep. </p><p>Bokuto turned on his back and looked at you. His eyes just the slightes bit open, he gave you a warm smile. </p><p>"Thank you" </p><p>Shocked by the honesty that his smile held, you stood up, laughing sheepishly before you get downstairs to fill water into a bottle. </p><p>Already knowing where his painkillers were, you grabbed some and made you way back to him. </p><p>Putting them down onto his nightstand, you looked at him. He was still awake. </p><p>"Couldya help me out 'f ma clothes?" he slurred, fighting with the buttons of his jeans. </p><p><em>He </em><em>won't</em><em>remember</em><em>that</em><em>anyways</em>. </p><p>"O-okay" you nodded and reached down to open his pants when he rolled back onto his chest. </p><p>"How am I supposed to help you this way?" you scolded him annoyed but stopped when the most brightest, honest and infectious laugh left his mouth. </p><p>Bokuto laughed so much, he held his stomach, rolling onto his back by doing so. </p><p>
  <em>This</em>
  
  <em>is</em>
  <em> his </em>
  <em>honest</em>
  
  <em>laugh</em>
  <em>, </em>
  <em>is</em>
  
  <em>it</em>
  <em>? </em>
  <em>He's</em>
  
  <em>actually</em>
  
  <em>having</em>
  <em> fun </em>
  <em>right</em>
  
  <em>now</em>
  <em>. </em>
  <em>Although</em>
  
  <em>it</em>
  
  <em>has</em>
  
  <em>nothing</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>do</em>
  
  <em>with</em>
  <em> Sex or </em>
  <em>any</em>
  
  <em>other</em>
  
  <em>dirty</em>
  
  <em>stuff</em>
  <em>. </em>
</p><p>"Should've seen ya face, (Y/N)-chan." still laughing uncontrollably, he tried to calm down, but instead you joined in, enjoying seeing him in this pure and sweet moment. </p><p>
  <em>This</em>
  
  <em>is</em>
  
  <em>the</em>
  <em> first time he said </em>
  <em>my</em>
  <em> name..</em>
</p><p>It took both of you a while until the laughter died off. The smile still present on his tired face. </p><p>"Alright, let's uhm.. Get you out of these clothes, okay? Then you can go to sleep!" you suggested and he nodded happily, giving you a goofy grin. </p><p>Bokuto laid there, well-behaving, not moving, no dirty word, nothing, while you unbuttoned his jeans and helped him slip out off them. Shortly after and without any sexual tension, both of you managed to get him out off his clothes. </p><p>By the time you were done, Bokuto looked at you, only wearing boxers, and smiled tiredly. </p><p>"Wouldya sleep here with me?" he asked, heat rising to his face. </p><p>
  <em>Shit, </em>
  <em>is</em>
  <em> he </em>
  <em>really</em>
  
  <em>blushing</em>
  <em>? </em>
  <em>Adorable</em>
  <em>!!! </em>
</p><p>"S-sure" smiling back, you slipped out do your shoes, grabbed a boxer and a shirt out of the drawers and disappeared in his bathroom. </p><p>While you changed into his comfy, huge clothes you looked at yourself in the mirrow. </p><p>Why do you even do this? Why did you agree to this? </p><p>Shaking your head at yourself, not knowing an answer to this question, you put your hair into a messy bun and got back into his bedroom. </p><p>Bokuto's eyes were closed, lying on his side facing the door. Carefully throwing the blankets over him you slipped underneath, trying to get as much space as possible between you and him. </p><p>"C'me here…" he whispered in a low tired voice, making you sigh deeply. </p><p>This side of him really did something to you… </p><p>"Bokuto-san.. That's not an appropriate thing to do" you scolded him gently, not moving as he had asked. </p><p>There was silence for some minutes, making you believe he had fallen asleep already. </p><p>But just when you were about to close your eyes, his big arm wrapped around you, pulling you close. Way too close. </p><p>You could feel the heat radiating from his chest, the scratchy hair on his leg, his breath on your neck. Your legs got shaky, your body trembling. </p><p>It had indeed been a long time since someone had held me this close… </p><p>Nervously shifting you tried to get out of his grip.</p><p>"Please…" another plead filled the silence, giving you a hard time to resist. </p><p>You knew it wasn't a good idea. You knew this was something you shouldn't do. You knew, you would normally never do that. But somehow.. Now, in this moment, something inside screamed for his attention. </p><p>"I.. We.. But that's all, okay? Not any closer, not any more body contact, understood?" </p><p>Bokuto groaned as a sign of acceptance. The heavy scent of smoke and beer hit your nose when he drew out a long breath. </p><p>But for some reason it didn't bother you at all. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Later that night you woke up because you felt like your whole body was on fire. Shifting carefully, you realized, Bokuto was holding you in his arms, your face pressed against his chest. </p><p>His body was so warm it was almost uncomfortable to stay like this. But you were so tired and about to fell back to sleep, that you didn't care. </p><p>"(Y/N)-chan.. You can't sleep?" Bokuto's strained voice made you raise your head. In the darkness you could see his eyes lingering on you.</p><p>"N-no, it's fine.. Go back to sleep" you whispered back. </p><p>"But.. I don't want to, if you're not feeling well. Is it my fault?" he asked, sounding… worried. </p><p>"No, not at all. Don't worry" yawning, you tried to keep your eyes open. </p><p>"Hm" Bokuto shifted slightly, before his arm pulled you even closer. </p><p>Heat rising to your face, you tried to keep your cool. </p><p>"I'll make you feel better, okay?" </p><p>"Okay" you answered quietly. </p><p>Not knowing what he meant by that, you waited for him to do something. Maybe pulling you even closer to his chest, or running his hands through your hair.</p><p>Although you could see his eyes and his features, you still didn't know, what he was about to do. </p><p>"I like you" Bokuto whispered, his breath brushing your face. Now, you were sure, you body was on fire for other reasons. </p><p>And before you could answer, you felt his hand traveling upwards your arm, gently stroking your shoulder and navel before it stopped behind your neck. </p><p>Unable to move, your breath got faster, your heart beating louder. </p><p>"I really, really like you" </p><p>Fisting your hand into the blanket, you didn't fight back, when a pair of incredible soft lips met yours in a gentle, slow kiss.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Pathetic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This Chapter might be sad. To me it was. It hurt to write it.</p><p>Remember Bokuto is in a drunken state right now. When you're drunk, you sometimes mix things up, and can't control your feelings.</p><p>This part is needed to get the Reader even closer to the reasons behind Bokuto's behavior.</p><p>Next Chapter will be from Bokuto's POV.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Unable to move or to pull back, your eyes widened, breath hitched, your heart pumping the blood faster and faster through your veins. </p><p><em>Is</em><em>this</em><em>really</em><em> happening </em><em>right</em><em>now</em><em>? </em><em>Did</em><em> he </em><em>really</em><em> just said he </em><em>liked</em><em>me</em><em>?</em> You thought, dumbstruck and wide awake by now. </p><p>Bokuto held you close, gently and carefully brushing his plump lips over yours over and over again. </p><p>His lips treating yours with a tenderness you had never expected from him and you couldn't stop yourself from kissing him back. </p><p>Bokuto let out a satisfied groan when he felt you leaning into his kisses, a smile on his lips now. </p><p>
  <em>What</em>
  <em> am I </em>
  <em>doing</em>
  <em> here.. </em>
  <em>Why</em>
  
  <em>do</em>
  <em> I like </em>
  <em>it</em>
  <em>? </em>
</p><p>Underneath your hands, that rested on the soft skin of his pecs, you felt Bokuto's heart beating fast, his body radiating even more heat than before. </p><p>"(Y/N)-chan…" he whispered, sliding his tongue over your lower lip. </p><p>"Don't leave me…" </p><p>Opening your mouth to answer, his hot, wet tongue already slipped inside, playing with yours lovingly. Taking his time to taste you, he groaned ever so often, while his breathing got faster and faster by the time. </p><p>Although you felt like this was so so wrong, you couldn't make him stop. You got lost in his gentleness, his attention and treatment that you almost didn't notice his hand traveling down your arms and waist. Meeting the rim of your shirt, his big, warm hands met your soft skin, sensitive to his touch. </p><p><em>You</em><em> have </em><em>to</em><em> stop here… </em><em>This</em><em>wasn't</em><em>right</em><em>.. Stop enjoying </em><em>it</em><em> so much, </em><em>you</em><em> stupid idiot.</em> Scolding yourself, your body started trembling in desire, betraying you, when his hand found your breasts. </p><p>"Mm.. No.. Bokuto-san.. Please- Aah!" you cried out when he squeezed it slightly, fondling it curiously. </p><p>Bokuto groaned in pleasure. Touching your warm, soft bust, his boxers got extremely tight, tighter than they'd been before. </p><p>When he pulled you closer again, you felt him pressing against your leg. </p><p>
  <em>This</em>
  <em>. </em>
  <em>Is</em>
  <em>. Not. </em>
  <em>Right</em>
  <em>. </em>
</p><p>And when his hand traveled downwards, about to slip underneath your pants, that's when you snapped out of your state. </p><p>"STOP!" you yelled, confused, tired and scared, pushing him away with all your might. Breathing fastly, shaky hands rested on his pecs as you tried to calm down from the high you had felt just seconds ago. </p><p>"This is not right, Bokuto-san! I'm your personal assistant, we're working together! We shouldn't…" you swallowed heavily, "do stuff like this! I-I mean.. Just… I'm not one of your groupies! A-and you're drunk!!" your voice thick with the inner conflict and fear, you stood from the bed, wrapping your arms around you protectively. </p><p>Instead of answering right away, Bokuto sighed deeply and let himself roll on his back. His hands ran over his face before he sat up to look at you. </p><p>"So you're telling me, you don't like me?" he whispered, his voice sounding strangely eerie and dark. </p><p>"N-no, that's not-" </p><p>"You're the same as every other fucking girl I've ever met!" his voice got louder with every word he said, filled with venom. "Don't tell me, you pushed me away cause you realized I told you I like you! Don't tell me, you couldn't handle a vulnerable '<em>Bokuto</em><em>-san</em>'! You would've let me fuck you, when I hadn't, would you?" </p><p>Shocked, your mouth went extremely dry. </p><p>
  <em>Why</em>
  <em> was he </em>
  <em>saying</em>
  
  <em>stuff</em>
  <em> like </em>
  <em>that</em>
  <em>? </em>
  <em>Where</em>
  
  <em>did</em>
  
  <em>that</em>
  
  <em>come</em>
  
  <em>from</em>
  <em> all of a </em>
  <em>sudden</em>
  <em>? </em>
</p><p>"What???" you screamed back, frozen in utter horror. </p><p>"It's always the same! The asshole, Bokuto Kotaro, gets the girls, gets the attention, gets a contract for his favorite team! You fucking retards only see what you want to, do you?" by now he was standing, his rage so loud and intense that you were actually scared of him. </p><p>"What are you talking about, I-"</p><p>"Get the fuck out" his loud voice was scary. But compared to the silent one that he was speaking with right now, the yelling was nothing. </p><p>Hesitating, more confused than ever, you didn't move. </p><p>"I SAID, GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!" <br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p>Lying in your bed at 5am in the morning, you stared at the ceiling of your bedroom, eyes red and puffy from crying. Your head almost bursting with the chaos that was going on inside. </p><p><em>What</em><em> had </em><em>happened</em><em>? </em><em>Why</em><em> had he </em><em>been</em><em> so furious all of a </em><em>sudden</em>? </p><p>Anger, frustration and worry boiling in your body, you felt new tears falling down your cheek when you remembered the furious expression on his face. </p><p>'<em>You</em><em> fucking </em><em>retards</em><em>only</em><em> see </em><em>what</em><em>you</em><em>want</em><em>to</em><em>!'</em> what was that supposed to mean? '<em>The</em><em>asshole</em><em>gets</em><em>the</em><em> attention</em>'... </p><p>Taking in a deep, shaky breath, you turned to your side, rubbing your tired, swollen eyes. </p><p>In a few hours you'd be picking him up for practice. Would he even remember what had happened? </p><p>You weren't sure which one you preferred. The side where you had the possibility to talk it through or the side where you were the one left with thousands of questions. Involving the strange new feelings you had developed towards him. </p><p>Bokuto had said he liked you. Was that even true? '<em>You</em><em>would've</em><em>let</em><em>me</em><em> fuck </em><em>you</em>' he had said as if that'd been the only goal from the beginning. Had he just said that to get you where he wanted you and was furious when you pushed him away because of that?</p><p>Brushing your finger over the lips Bokuto had kissed so tenderly just hours ago, you buried your face in your hands, breaking into another round of heavy sobs. </p><p>What about your feelings for him? Did <em>yo</em>u like him? Or had you as well been wanting to use him for your own pleasure until you had snapped back into reality?</p><p>All of this had happened, because you had been too worried for him. You had overstepped boundaries even before you had gotten into bed with him. </p><p>He was your client, you were his PA. You should've kept it that way. </p><p>But no. Your stupid ass had started to ponder about 'real' and 'fake' Bokuto. You had started to get involved in things that weren't your business from the beginning. You had stared at pictures for way too long, interpreting stories and fairytales into them. As if you could figure him out. As if you could see through him. What an idiot you had been. </p><p>Why care about a Bokuto who was being down about one single sentence? Why bothering so much about his changes in behavior in the most random situations? Why thinking about how he felt? </p><p>Why starting to care so much? </p><p>Because, as you had did with Rin, you considered yourself superior to your opponent. Thinking, you knew how life worked. Thinking, you could help those poor people with their problems, while you couldn't even solve your own ones. You ran away from them instead of facing them. <br/>And because you never faced your problems, you tried to get people into solving theirs, making you forget your own business.</p><p><em>That's</em><em>why</em><em> Rin had </em><em>quit</em>. You thought to yourself, the tears by now never died down. <em>Because I had </em><em>pushed</em><em>him</em><em>too</em><em> much, </em><em>thinking</em><em>it</em><em>would</em><em> help </em><em>him</em><em>overcome</em><em> feeling </em><em>minor</em><em>to</em><em>Haruka</em><em>by</em><em>challenging</em><em>him</em><em>over</em><em>and</em><em>over</em><em> again. </em></p><p>
  <em>Because of </em>
  <em>me</em>
  <em>, he had lost his passion </em>
  <em>for</em>
  
  <em>swimming</em>
  <em>… </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And</em>
  
  <em>now</em>
  <em>… I had hurt </em>
  <em>Bokuto</em>
  <em>-san </em>
  <em>as</em>
  <em> well. </em>
</p><p><em>I'm</em><em>pathetic</em><em>. </em><em>I'm</em><em> not </em><em>nearly</em><em>as</em><em> good </em><em>as</em><em> I always </em><em>thought</em><em> I was.</em> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Best Friend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING: Mention of Domestic Violence</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At 8am you stood from your bed, not having slept the whole night.</p><p>You hadn't stopped thinking about Bokuto and the way he had reacted to you rejecting him.</p><p>Tonight you had decided to call Rin to apologize to him about what you had done. Since you had realized just now, it was better now than never, hoping he'd forgive you.</p><p>Setting up a much needed cup of coffee, you leaned your back against the kitchen counter, hoping your eyes would stop burning from the tears that still threatened to fall.</p><p>While waiting for the coffee to be ready, your phone buzzed next to you.</p><p>Skipping a heart beat, you saw Bokuto's number on the screen. Hesitating for a second, you took a deep, calming breath, before you picked up.</p><p>"Hello?" you tried to sound as normal as possible, not the slightest ready for what Bokuto had to say now. Maybe he would fire you. Maybe he would continue screaming...</p><p>"Morning, Sexy!" a strained, tired voice spoke into the phone on the other side of the line.</p><p>"I called in sick today, so you're having a day off. Although I'm going to miss you really bad!" a laugh was heard, followed by a cough.</p><p>
  <em>Blackout. He </em>
  <em>didn't</em>
  
  <em>remember</em>
  <em> anything </em>
  <em>from</em>
  <em> last </em>
  <em>night</em>
  <em>, </em>
  <em>did</em>
  <em> he?</em>
</p><p>Now knowing that this was in your favor, you acted surprised.</p><p>"Oh? Are you okay?"</p><p>"Kinda. Damn, I was so fucking done yesterday, I can't even remember who brought me home!" another laugh.</p><p>"I did" you answered shortly, careful not to spit any words about what had happened.</p><p>"You did? Well, this means I owe you big time!! Thanks, Sexy! I was dreaming of having you near me. And I swear I smell your perfume on my bed. Did we do something naughty?" even if you couldn't see it, you knew he was smirking right now.</p><p>"No" you lied. "It was just pretty difficult to put your heavy body into bed and I fell right into it. Is there something you want me to do for you today? Do you need anything?" at least stay professional today.</p><p>"If you're asking me like that... Could you come over around noon? I wanted to sleep a little more but I'd be so so fucking pleased if you'd cook something for me." Bokuto chuckled deeply.</p><p>"Sure. Be there at 12 sharp. Get some sleep, Bokuto-san. I need to get going now. See you later!" you said fastly, hanging up on him before he could answer.</p><p>Releasing the breath you were holding, you downed your hot coffee in one, not even minding how much it burned your throat.</p><p>
  <em>First </em>
  <em>call</em>
  <em> Rin. I </em>
  <em>need</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>get</em>
  
  <em>this</em>
  
  <em>over</em>
  
  <em>with</em>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>With shaking hands, you dialed his number, still knowing it without looking it up.</p><p>You had always thought you'd been an awesome Manager. Doing everything in your might to please your client. To make him even more popular, to fulfill his wishes and needs.</p><p>But you had been an asshole the whole time, hadn't you? And now you were judging Bokuto for being one.</p><p>"Chibi-chan!" the positively surprised sound of a familiar voice rang in your ear.</p><p>"H-hey Rin.. How're you doing?" you stuttered, digging your hands into the kitchen counter.</p><p>"I'm feeling better than ever!! What about you? Wanna meet up for breakfast? I'm free today!" Rin sounded happy that you'd called him. Even relieved. And you felt so too. Relieved that he didn't hate you.</p><p>"Sure! I'd love to! At 9 at our common place?" you couldn't hide the smile on your face.</p><p>"Aight, cutie!! See ya in an hour! My treat!"</p><p>An hour later you stood in front of the Café, you and Rin had been visiting oh so many times. Nervously stepping from one foot to the other, you asked yourself if he was really showing up. You hadn't talked to the maroon headed man ever since he had quit. Neither had you seen or heard from him.</p><p>Since Rin was always a little late, you leaned against the wall, closing your eyes to enjoy the sun.</p><p>After you had taken a shower, you had decided to wear a tiny bit of Makeup, since your dark circles had looked extremely bad.</p><p>"Chibi-chan!" a happy voice called you and you pressed yourself off of the wall, walking towards him with a tiny smile.</p><p>Rin looked exactly the same as he had months ago. Broad, tall, handsome. His maroon hair falling down his face. That one strand still in his face. You never understood why it didn't bother him. You'd go crazy.</p><p>Unsure of how to greet him, Rin took the initiative, pulling you into a tight, loving hug.</p><p>"It's so good to see you, (Y/N)!" he breathed into your neck, sighing happily.</p><p>His warmth and closeness was calming and soothing, almost making you cry at his shoulder.</p><p>Scooping your arms around his waist, you took in the scent of the person you loved so so much.</p><p>Rin had always been a close friend to you, someone you relied on. Someone you knew better than anyone else.</p><p>After Rin had quit, you had promised yourself to never involve feelings into business again.</p><p>Well. You had fucked up again.</p><p>"I missed you so much, Rin" you sobbed at his shoulder, standing on your tippy-toes to make it easier for him to hold you.</p><p>Yes. You had missed Rin. Now that he was here, you realized how much you had missed him.</p><p>A deep chuckle vibrated through his chest.</p><p>"I missed you, too, Chibi-chan."</p><p>After a few more minutes both of you pulled away, smiling at each other warmly.</p><p>"Let's go inside and eat. I'm starving!!" he laughed, showing his sharp teeth.</p><p>After placing your order, Rin rested his face on his hands, watching you closely.</p><p>"I'm so happy you called..." he started. He seemed to be nervous about something.</p><p>"Listen.. I'm sorry, I never called you." he scratched the back of his head sheepishly.</p><p>"To be honest, I was too scared to do so since I did something really cruel and mean." he stopped for a second, organizing his words.</p><p>"I'm sorry of how I treated you and I'm sorry about what happened. You didn't deserve to find out like this.."</p><p>Deeply sorry, he bowed as much as he could in his sitting position.</p><p>Waving your hands, your eyes widened in surprise.</p><p>"No! No! It's fine!" you said urgently. "Well.. Sure I was hurt and shocked.. But I kind of understand why you did it" fidgeting with your hands, you dropped your head down.</p><p>"it was my fault, you did that... I shouldn't have pushed you so much to become better and better... I focused so much on your dream of becoming better than Haruka that I totally lost sight of your passion for swimming... I'm the one to blame here.." taking these words into your mouth was harder than expected. But now they were finally out.</p><p>"Are you kidding me? That was the best thing you could do to me!" your head snapped back up so fast, you heard it crack.</p><p>Surprised you looked at him. Rin was smiling so brightly, his dark red eyes glistening.</p><p>"W-what?"</p><p>"(Y/N)-chan... I know, you're being always way too hard on yourself... do you know what I loved the most about our friendship / collaboration?" you shook your head. "You always gave me the feeling that you truly cared for me. I know you did and I know you still do. That's why you called me, huh? To apologize for something that I am extremely thankful for!"</p><p>Looking to the side, you nodded embarrassed.</p><p>"Cutie" Rin now chuckled. "I didn't quit because Haruka beat me again. I quit because it was time. I didn't want to continue swimming in a professional way." leaning over a little, he added. "I did NOT quit because you 'took my passion away'. I'm still swimming everyday. I teach children, ya know?"</p><p>Gasping, your eyes started burning again. He had been thankful that you had cared? He had not quit because of you?</p><p>"S-so, you do not hate me?"</p><p>Another bright, beautiful laugh from Rin before he took both of your hands into his own.</p><p>"I could never. You were the best Manager I ever had. Caring for me so sincerely and deeply... I loved you for that. I still do!" he gave you a crooked smiled and you couldn't help but stand up to fall into his arms again.</p><p>Relieved and happy, you started sobbing again.</p><p>" I love you too, Rin!"</p><p>Not caring about the people that could see you, you just hugged him until the waiter brought your food.</p><p>The next two hours you talked about his new job, how he and Haruka met once in a while. He asked about Bokuto and how it was to be his personal assistant.</p><p>And as you kept telling him, you found yourself smiling by doing so.</p><p>Rin listened to you closely, smiling every now and then, laughing at Bokuto's behavior and making you laugh with his comments.</p><p>"You know.. To me it sounds like this Bokuto is a lost soul. The same as I was again. Maybe he just needs a little push in the right direction. And maybe this push could be you."</p><p> </p><p>After promising to stay in contact from now on again, you parted your ways, leaving you with the words Rin had said. The same that Yamiji had told you.</p><p>Maybe it wasn't a bad thing that you started caring about your clients. Maybe it was, like Rin said, something that made you a better Manager or better PA.</p><p>The behavior you had felt as coming off as pushy, to Rin it hadn't been that way at all. He had felt safe and cared for, instead of pushed. Motivated and inspired by the intense energy you had put into reading his needs.</p><p>Processing Rin's words and the things that had happened with Bokuto, you decided to call Yamiji before driving over to Bokuto's house.</p><p>"I'm sorry you had to come over here all the way" you apologized to the elder man but he shook his head.</p><p>"It's fine." he gave you a warm smile.</p><p>"How can I help you?</p><p>Taking a deep breath, you looked at him with serious eyes.</p><p>"I picked him up yesterday night when he was really drunk. I had never seen him like this before... Also he acted strange the whole day. Atsumu-san told me it would be 'that' day... I wouldn't ask such a personal question.. But I want to help Bokuto since it seemed to make him feel horrible. I just don't think he'd talk to me about it. Do you know by chance what Atsumu-san meant by that?"</p><p>Yamiji sighed before rubbing his temples.</p><p>"I really appreciate that you are worried about him. I can't tell you unfortunately but I'm going to say this: Bokuto knows what pain is. He knows what it means to suffer. And he knows what it means to work hard for your dreams. Even if it means, you have to change."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Bokuto's</b>
  
  <b>POV</b>
  <b>, 3rd Person</b>
</p><p>
  <b>19 </b>
  <b>years</b>
  
  <b>earlier</b>
  <b> (</b>
  <b>the</b>
  
  <b>flashbacks</b>
  <b> will always </b>
  <b>be</b>
  
  <b>deducted</b>
  
  <b>from</b>
  
  <b>the</b>
  
  <b>current</b>
  <b> time </b>
  <b>the</b>
  <b> story </b>
  <b>is</b>
  <b> in, </b>
  <b>Bokuto</b>
  
  <b>is</b>
  
  <b>around</b>
  <b> 24 </b>
  <b>when</b>
  
  <b>you</b>
  <b> are his </b>
  <b>PA</b>
  <b>)</b>
  <b></b>
</p><p>"Wow!! Ko-chan! How do you make spiking look so easy?" blueish-green eyes, wide open with wonder stared at his friend excitedly.</p><p>A tiny boy of five year old, his grey-black hair standing up in every direction, put his hands into his waist proudly.</p><p>"I know, right? I was practicing the whole week! I want to be a professional volleyball player when I grow up" a big toothy grin showed on his face, though some teeth were missing.</p><p>"I can't do that.." the other boy, a year younger, dipped his head low in frustration.</p><p>Bokuto patted his friends shoulder. "That's fine! I could teach you if you want! Also you are way better at controlling the ball than me. You'll be my Setter some day, okay? That's the coolest position on earth, I tell you!"</p><p>"Kotaro! Where are you? Dinner is ready!" his mother yelled from afar.</p><p>"Shoot. Hide the volleyball, okay? We can't let her see it." hastily, they hid the ball in a bush.</p><p>"Gotta go now. See ya tomorrow, Kei-chan!" he smiled happily and waved at his friend as he ran off.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>15 </b>
  <b>years</b>
  
  <b>earlier</b>
</p><p>"Happy Birthday, Ko-chan!" Keiji whispered, leaning on his friends window sill from outside, careful not to wake Bokuto's parents.</p><p>"Here" he said, picking up a brand new volleyball and handed it over to his friend.</p><p>"My mama and I wanted you to have a new one. Since the old one is already losing air" the eight year old explained, tilting his head in thought.</p><p>"But you already gave me something at the party today! I can't take two presents from you!" Bokuto hesitated, not wanting to seem greedy.</p><p>"It's my real present for you" Keiji smiled.</p><p>Bokuto's hands reached out for the ball, his eyes glistening with happiness.</p><p>"My very own volleyball" he whispered reverently, brushing his tiny fingertips gently over the surface of his very first volleyball. Afraid, he could break it.</p><p>"Thank you, Keiji! You're the bestest friend I've ever had!" he sobbed, trying to reward him with a smile but failed. The tears of happiness spilled over.</p><p>Keiji chuckled softly. Looking at his friend he found another bruise on his arm.</p><p>"Ko-chan" he pointed towards the yellow, green spot. "Did you again run against something?"</p><p>Following his friends eyes, Bokuto blushed. "Oh, this?" he laughed sheepishly. "Yeah, haha. It's nothing!"</p><p>Keiji pouted. "You should really be more careful, Ko-chan!"</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>13 </b>
  <b>years</b>
  
  <b>earlier</b>
</p><p>"Yesterday when he was playing with Keiji, he had new bruises..." Mrs. Akaashi told her husband worried, said man shaking his head in disgust.</p><p>"We should ask him to join us on vacation. Maybe we can talk to him that way" Mr. Akaashi suggested, his wife's eyes now glowing with love for him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>One </em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em>week</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    
  </b>
  <b>
    <em>later</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Bokuto had never had so much fun his entire life. Spending a whole week with his best friend and his incredibly nice parents, he was allowed to play Volleyball all day long.</p><p>When it was dinner time, all of them sat together, talking about their day, laughing, having fun. Something Bokuto was not used to.</p><p>At home his dad was always gone, working for a big company, while his mother would take care of him. They always ate in silence. The only thing they ever talked about was Bokuto's future, his grades and how he was supposed to become a successful man like his dad.</p><p>The Akaashi's were completely different. They asked him about his dreams, his wishes, his love for volleyball. They also seemed very interested in the fact, that Bokuto always tried to hide that he loved volleyball.</p><p>"Kotaro honey" Keiji's mom asked him carefully when they were lying on a couch, watching a movie. All four of them lying closely together, Mrs. Akaashi's arms wrapped around Keiji and Bokuto.</p><p>"Hm?" Bokuto raised his head to meet her eyes.</p><p>"Can I ask you something?" she's the prettiest and nicest woman in the world! Bokuto thought.</p><p>"Yes!" he smiled widely.</p><p>Mrs. Akaashi paused the movie and sat a little straighter.</p><p>"Have you ever told your Mama what you told us at dinner tonight? That you want to become a professional player?"</p><p>The smile slipped from Bokuto's face.</p><p>"No..." he whispered, his head dipping down. "She doesn't like it when I play volleyball. She... says it's distracting me and doesn't allow it.."</p><p>"Hm. I see" careful not to overdo it, Keiji's mom pulled him close to her chest.</p><p>"Is she angry when she finds out you're still playing although she told you not to?"</p><p>Bokuto gulped, having troubles to suppress the tears from spilling over. He didn't dare to say something, so he just nodded. His hand absent-mindedly found its way to the newest bruise he wore on his arm.</p><p>Shocked, Mrs. Akaashi looked at her husband. Wearing the same expression as her, he nodded with serious eyes.</p><p>"Well, Buddy, with us you can play as much Volleyball as you like to! We're helping you to become a professional player, alright?"</p><p>Bokuto's face snapped back up, looking at Keiji's father with wide eyes.</p><p>"Okay! I'll do my very best, Mr. Akaashi!" he grinned widely.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>A </em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em>few</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    
  </b>
  <b>
    <em>days</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em> after </em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em>the</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em> vacation</em>
  </b>
</p><p>"What do you mean, you can't do anything?" Mrs. Akaashi said outraged, clawing her nails into her husband's arm.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Miss. But since we have no evidence and the boy doesn't want to talk about it. There's nothing we can do. I'm really sorry" the police officer told them.</p><p>"I'm telling you, this boy should not live there! His father is always gone and his mother... I.. What if something worse happens?? And isn't that bad enough? We would adopt him! Please, help us! Help him!"</p><p>Shaking his head, the police officer looked at her, truly sorry.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Miss.. If he's not talking, then we can't do anything"</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>8 </b>
  <b>years</b>
  
  <b>earlier</b>
  <b> (</b>
  <b>Bokuto</b>
  
  <b>is</b>
  <b> 16,</b>
  <b>turning</b>
  <b> 17 </b>
  <b>soon</b>
  <b>, </b>
  <b>Akaashi</b>
  
  <b>is</b>
  <b> 15)</b>
  <b></b>
</p><p>"Akaaaasshhheeeegh!! Your first day at Fukurodani, huh? How're you feeling? You're signing in for the volleyball team today?" Bokuto smiled brightly, hugging his best friend, welcoming him in his new home.</p><p>"Bokuto-san..." Akaashi secretly smiled at his friends happiness. Returning the hug for a short time before pulling back. "I just arrived! Can I at first finish unpacking?"</p><p>"Yeah, sure! Let me help you!" he grinned even wider.</p><p>"You seem to be extra happy today, Bokuto-san" Akaashi claimed, while neatly folding his clothes to put them into the drawer next to his desk.</p><p>"How could I not be happy? I always wanted to live with you!! And now you're here, my new roommate. What else could I wish for? We will have so much fun!!!" he laughed wholeheartedly, filling their tiny fridge with Akaashi's food.</p><p>Akaashi stifled a tiny laugh. "I'm happy, too."</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Months</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    
  </b>
  <b>
    <em>later</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em> at </em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em>trainingscamp</em>
  </b>
</p><p>"Oi, Akaashi" Bokuto said softly, looking up at the sky full of stars. Both of them laid on the grass outside the Fukurodani gyms.</p><p>"Hm?" Akaashi turned his head in his friends direction, the grass underneath still warm from the sun.</p><p>"You know, you're my best friend, right?" surprised by the serious tone in his voice, Akaashi wrinkled his forehead.</p><p>"And you're my best friend" he answered shortly. He'd never been a person of big words and long sentences.</p><p>A faint smile crept on Bokuto's face, still looking upwards. After a short silence, Bokuto spoke up again.</p><p>"Thank you for supporting me. It means a lot. I would've never come this far without you and your families help."</p><p>"It's nothing" Akaashi waved it off.</p><p>Sitting up fastly, Bokuto looked at him, angry.</p><p>"Don't say shit like that! Don't talk so less of you and what you did! Without you I would've quit volleyball. I wouldn't have had the strength to keep going without you!"</p><p>Now Akaashi sat up as well.</p><p>"Fine" he smiled at Bokuto and laid a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>"I'll always support you, Bokuto-san. We will win the National Spring Tournament next year, okay? You and me together! Promise me to become a professional player. Promise me, Ko-chan" </p><p>Nodding, deeply thankful, he dropped his head and smiled at the nicknames they had given each other when they had been really young.</p><p>"I Promise, Kei-chan"</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>7 </b>
  <b>years</b>
  
  <b>earlier</b>
</p><p>They had lost. The last game of the National Spring Tournament was over and they had lost.</p><p>Sitting in the locker room, Bokuto closely held onto the picture of him and Akaashi on his graduation day a few weeks ago.</p><p>The picture was wet. Covered in hot tears, Bokuto was thankful that no one could see him right now.</p><p>He had promised Akaashi to win the tournament. The whole team had promised to win the tournament for Akaashi.</p><p>And now they had failed.</p><p>Hands clenched into fists, until the knuckles turned wide, Bokuto swallowed the heavy bitterness and sadness, he felt at this moment.</p><p>
  <em>Akaashi</em>
  
  <em>wouldn't</em>
  <em> like </em>
  <em>to</em>
  <em> see </em>
  <em>me</em>
  <em> like </em>
  <em>this</em>
  <em>.. He </em>
  <em>would</em>
  <em> tell </em>
  <em>me</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  <em> go </em>
  <em>on</em>
  <em>. </em>
  <em>He'd</em>
  <em> pat </em>
  <em>my</em>
  
  <em>shoulder</em>
  <em>, </em>
  <em>smiling</em>
  
  <em>faintly</em>
  
  <em>and</em>
  
  <em>say</em>
  <em>: '</em>
  <em>Promise</em>
  
  <em>me</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  <em> not </em>
  <em>give</em>
  <em> up. Promise me to go on'</em>
</p><p>Softly running his thumb over Akaashi's smiling face, he, there and then, promised he would never lose again. He would become a professional player. He would show his family what he was made off.</p><p>He would make Akaashi's parents proud.</p><p>Hearing a weird sound, he raised his head to meet his Coach's eyes.</p><p>"That's the spirit. Don't give up now. Akaashi would be mad at you" Yamiji said before he sat down next to Bokuto und pulled the 18 year old into his arms.</p><p>"Why take a picture of me like this?" Bokuto sobbed, wiping his face with the back of his hand.</p><p>"To remind you of your fighting spirit. To remind you of the reason you did all of this. To remind you to never give up. You should always remember the promise you made to Akaashi. Don't give up" Yamiji said softly, pulling him closer when Bokuto's sobs started to get worse again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Later that day</em>
  </b>
</p><p>It had started raining. A flower in his hand, Bokuto stared down at a picture of his best friend.</p><p>Putting the flower next to it, he stood up again.</p><p>"I promise, I'll become a professional volleyball player. At all costs. I promise you, Akaashi. I won't ever forget that promise" he told the picture, which was smiling back at him.</p><p>After a short silence, he broke into tears.</p><p>"You're my best friend, Akaashi. No one ever took me exactly the way I am. You have no idea how much you mean to me."</p><p>Sobbing silently, he got down to his knees, fisting his hands into the wet grass.</p><p>"I miss you so much..."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Step by Step</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Parking your car in front of Bokuto's house, you didn't dare getting out just yet. </p><p>Yamiji's words still lingering in your mind, you wondered even more what had happened. </p><p>You would take it slow with Bokuto though. Trying to earn his trust first. If he would let you in, maybe he'd talk to you, opening up and giving you the chance to help him. </p><p>A push in the right direction. </p><p>Entering his house, it laid still. Taking the steps you stopped in front of his bedroom, looking inside where he was lying in the bed, spread across the whole space it offered. Smiling faintly, you watched him for a few seconds. </p><p><em>So </em><em>peaceful</em><em>…</em> you thought, watching him fondly. </p><p>On his stomach, his face was turned away from the door but you were sure he was still asleep. </p><p>It was almost noon by now, so you decided to go downstairs, making him some Vegetables and Meat you had brought on your way here. </p><p>While cooking the vegetables on a low heat, you made your way upstairs again, to wake him up. </p><p>You felt nervous and unsure of how to act. </p><p>Sitting on the bed next to his nightstand, you got distracted by the picture it was holding, taking it into your hand again.</p><p>Was that the pain Yamiji was talking about? </p><p>While people used to smile in pictures although they weren't happy or just seconds before a fight had taken place, you were sure with Bokuto it was the complete opposite. </p><p>In these pictures he showed his true self. You didn't know why you were so sure about that. </p><p>But looking at the picture on his nightstand, you knew all those pictures in his home showed the real Bokuto Kotaro, especially the one of his nightstand. </p><p>Why frame a picture of a moment like this? Maybe as a motivation? Or a daily reminder that winning was nothing you earned without working for it? Or even as a way to show yourself every day, that you got through this moment, overcoming a loss, and got on your feet again? </p><p>Thinking about the files you had read about Bokuto, you knew this game had been the finals in his third year of High School. The nationals final, where his team had lost after a really hard, exhausting game. </p><p>Now about six years later, he was Outside Hitter of Japan's best V-League 1 team. </p><p>So why frame a moment that must have hurt as hell? </p><p> </p><p>"Oi? You're here! Is it noon already?" Bokuto's strained voice made you jump. Putting the picture away, you turned to face him. </p><p>"Hey" you answered softly. "Lunch is ready in a second. Do you want me to bring it up here? You look pretty pale. Drink some water and take the pills here" you handed him the painkillers. </p><p>A tired smirk crossed his face. "You're the best."</p><p><em>No </em><em>inappropriate</em><em> word. Hm</em>. </p><p>Shortly after you returned with a plate, placing it onto his lap when he sat up, leaning against the headboard. </p><p>Bokuto ate in silence, not bothered that you were sitting next to him. Something here felt different to you. Maybe he was so silent and calm because he felt like crap. He was unusual tame. </p><p>When he put the empty plate on his nightstand, he stretched his muscles comfortably. </p><p>"That was amazing! Thank you" a smile tugged on the sight of his lips. </p><p>"No problem" you smiled back, feeling the heat rising to your face. </p><p>Why does this feel like an intimate situation right now? </p><p>
  <em>Talk </em>
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>him</em>
  
  <em>now</em>
  <em>. </em>
  <em>Try</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>get</em>
  <em> a </em>
  <em>little</em>
  
  <em>closer</em>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>"Listen, Bokuto-san.. I wanted to ask you something." you started, not daring to look at him. </p><p>"Sure we can make out." he chuckled which earned him a slight punch on the shoulder. </p><p>"No" you laughed silently. "That's not what I wanted to ask. I wanted to know.. Uhm.." fidgeting with your hands you continued. </p><p>"Are you okay?" </p><p>Bokuto raised an eyebrow at your question, looking slightly confused. </p><p>"Are <em>you</em> okay? You've never acted so calm when I teased you" </p><p>"I am fine. It's just.. When I saw you yesterday, I was extremely worried and.. I was scared something would happen to you" </p><p>The man in front of you sat up straight, eyes wide. </p><p>"So you do care for me?" he smirked satisfied. "I knew it."</p><p>"Of course I do, Bokuto-san! You're.. Not easy to handle but that doesn't mean, I don't care. I really was worried." you repeated. </p><p>The room fell silent for some minutes. </p><p>"I'm fine, Sexy. Don't worry. I'm the bestest I've ever been" Bokuto laughed and flexed his biceps, showing off a little. </p><p>Shaking your head, you sighed with a faint smile. </p><p><em>He's</em><em> not ready </em><em>yet</em><em>.</em> </p><p>Placing your hand on his arm, you pulled it down and intertwined your hands. </p><p>"If there's ever something you need to talk about, something that bothers you, something.. That's going on and you need someone to talk to, call me. Talk to me. Okay?" locking eyes with him, you saw his golden orbs grow slightly bigger at your words. </p><p>"You're kinda scaring me right now, Sexy." he chuckled. "But yeah" he squeezed your hand gently. "I'll call ya" </p><p>Satisfied and happy, you released his hand and smiled. </p><p>"Okay. Then shower now?" you asked, standing from his bed, taking the plate to bring it back into the kitchen. </p><p>"Aight, Ma'am! On my way!" Bokuto said, springing out of bed, regretting it instantly when he felt close to fainting. </p><p>Supporting himself on the door frame, you came rushing towards him. Wrapping your arms around him, you brought him into the bathroom. </p><p>"Slowly, Bokuto-san. Your body is still weak from all the toxic stuff you put in it yesterday night. Leave the door open and yell when you need me" you commanded, leaving him alone in the bathroom. </p><p>Back in the kitchen you washed the dishes and put the remaining food into the fridge for him to heat it up later. </p><p>You heard the sound of water and then a loud '<em>smack</em>', making you jump up the stairs, ripping the door from the bathroom open. </p><p>"Are you okay?" you asked out of breath. </p><p>Looking at Bokuto you gasped and covered your eyes with your hands, since he stood, butt naked, in front of you. </p><p>
  <em>Why</em>
  
  <em>is</em>
  <em> he so hot?... </em>
</p><p>The same laugh you had heard yesterday night filled the room. </p><p>"Seems like you like to see me naked, huh?" he teased as his laughter died down. </p><p>"I'm fine. I just slipped in the shower and grabbed the first thing I could get and ripped it off the wall" </p><p>"O-oh, okay, well.. I'll leave now" you stuttered, still covering your eyes, and turned to leave. </p><p>"Wait a second" Bokuto grabbed your wrist and pulled you back into the steaming hot bathroom. </p><p>"Why do you care for me all of a sudden? What's this about? Did I miss something?" he asked in a husky voice, his chest pressed against your back. </p><p>Shivering in delight, you tried to calm your nerves. </p><p>"We're working together. I am your personal assistant and I want us to get closer. I want you to trust me and I want to trust you. That's how I work. And since… I figured fighting against you wouldn't help, I decided to try the normal way."</p><p>"You want us to be closer?" he whispered now in your ear. </p><p>"Y-yes. I don't want to leave. I want to make this work between us. So.." </p><p>Bokuto let you out of his grip, turning you around. </p><p>He wore a towel now, his wet hair dripping. </p><p>A bright, goofy smile plastered on his face, he nodded. </p><p>"Aight, Boss! Can't promise though to tease you here and there" he laughed. </p><p>"That's fine. I'm already used to it" returning the smile, you felt like this would be a new chance for you to bond with him. </p><p>Maybe this would turn out the grow into a friendship like it had happened with Rin. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Development</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Weeks passed in which both of you tried to work on yourself to make working together easier.</p><p>Bokuto kept teasing you, as promised, but his jokes weren't as horribly inappropriate as they had been in the very beginning. The teasing increased though. It seemed to you that it happened more often. </p><p>Meanwhile you tried to not see him as the chauvinist you always had. </p><p>You tried to play along, not taking everything too serious as Yamiji had recommended.</p><p>And it worked. Partly. But it worked. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>It was a Thursday evening when you arrived at Bokuto's house to pick him up for a dinner with the sportsclub representatives. He and Shoyo had been invited since they were the most recent players that had joined the Black Jackals. Business talk, as Bokuto had said. </p><p>"Bokuto-san?" you called out for him, closing the door behind you. </p><p>"Upstairs" he shortly answered. </p><p>Taking the steps you turned to the right to find him sitting on his bed, wearing a towel around his hips. </p><p>"Dude! You gotta hurry! We need to be there in an hour and it's half an hour drive!" you scolded him, shaking your head. An over exaggerated sigh left your lips before you stepped into the room to fish fitting clothes out of his drawers. </p><p>"Business talk, right?" you asked, while trying to decide if jeans and shirt would be fine or if you'd need to iron the dress shirt. </p><p>"Just a few guys from BJ are there, honey. I'm not going to meet the fucking president" Bokuto chuckled, stood up and let his towel fall down the floor. </p><p>Turning around instantly, you covered your face. Not to avoid the sight of him, but to hide the blush. "How many times have I asked you to stop doing that?" </p><p>A warm naked body, leaned against yours from behind.</p><p>"Many times" he whispered into your ear before he reached over you and grabbed a pair of boxer briefs out of the drawer you were standing in front of. You heard steps, knowing he'd went to the bathroom now. </p><p>Taking a deep breath to calm down, you kept picking out clothes for him. </p><p>At some point after your 'talk' with him this had become a habit. At least he started trusting you to clothe him to his liking. <br/><br/></p><p>When he came back from the bathroom, hair done, boxer briefs on, his earrings in, you had already put a whole outfit together. <br/><br/></p><p>"Oi, Sexy." Bokuto said, getting your attention, as he slipped into a pair of jeans. Waiting for him in the small hallway of his house, you leaned against the doorframe of his bedroom. </p><p>"Oi, Bokuto-san" you answered dryly, even playfully, a bored expression on your face as you nodded in his direction like his teammates always used to. </p><p>Surprised, Bokuto rose his head, a smirk on his lips.</p><p>"You start to loosen up, Sexy. I like it" his smirk grew as he got into the a tight fitting, dark green longsleeve, you'd picked out for him. </p><p>"You wanted to say something, Bokuto-san" you told him, as he fixed his hair. </p><p>"Right" he chuckled, remembering, and pushed the sleeves up. Looking at you,</p><p>Bokuto's golden eyes glistened with mischief when he took three big steps to reach you.</p><p>Leaning his arm over your tiny frame, he caged you between himself and the doorframe, making you freeze. </p><p>Holding his intense gaze bravely, you cursed yourself for the heat that started to rise to your cheeks. </p><p>To be honest with yourself, you'd prefer the teasing would stop completely. Not that it made you angry anymore. But you'd get uncomfortable and flustered so so often, and you hated that he knew the impact his teasing had on you. </p><p>It was as if not Bokuto had 'confessed' his feelings in a drunken state, but you. And now he was playing with you. Loving your reactions. </p><p>You couldn't deny that the kisses you and drunken Bokuto had shared hadn't done something with you. To your horror, you had liked it more than you had expected.</p><p>Ever since you felt different around him, his antics made you nervous, the teasing made you shiver and his smirks left you gasping for air.</p><p>Not that you would ever admit that to anyone. <br/><br/></p><p>The low chuckle that told you he had realized your blush, made it, to your horror, even worse. </p><p>The tips of his hair already touched your forehead, tickling your skin.</p><p>"You said you wanted us to be closer" he breathed, leaning in further by the seconds. </p><p>"Y-yes" nothing left from the confident woman you had been just seconds ago. Instead your body started trembling. </p><p><em>His </em><em>eyes</em><em> are </em><em>the</em><em> most </em><em>beautiful</em><em> gold...</em> </p><p>His smirk grew while his left hand found its way to your neck. It was so warm and soft, you tried your best not to lean into it. </p><p>"B-but that's not what I meant. I told you a thousand times by now, Bokuto-san" you managed to reply, legs shaking, heartbeat racing. </p><p>"I know" Bokuto stopped, his forehead rested on yours. He took a few deep breaths, before he continued in a husky voice.</p><p>"Would you come watch the game this weekend?" </p><p>Surprised, you raised your eyebrow. That's not what you had expected.</p><p>It was true, you still hadn't ever attended one of his games or practices by now. Thinking he really didn't care, but since Bokuto never failed to ask you in the last few months, it really seemed to mean a lot to him. </p><p>Yes, the teasing was fun. Seeing this strange man pout from time to time. But maybe this would be a good way to get closer to him after all. </p><p>"Okay" you whispered, lost in the golden orbs that were fixed on you. </p><p>With your words they grew slightly bigger.</p><p>"Seriously?" His voice held surprise, victory and maybe even relief. </p><p>"Yes, I'll come to watch you this time" </p><p>Bokuto didn't answer.</p><p>Not with words though.</p><p>His grip on your neck got more eager, his thumb stroking your skin, gentle and slow. </p><p>Breathing got difficult, it felt like your legs were about to forget they were supposed to keep you standing.</p><p>Not ever leaving his eyes, the tension in the room rose with every second that passed. </p><p>Bokuto smelled so good.. He felt good. There wasn't much body contact but the parts that did touch were on fire. </p><p><em>I miss his kisses</em>, you thought, surprised that you had just admitted that to yourself. Your skin was burning, awaiting the same deep, hot kiss he'd given you last time. You wanted his hands to travel up and down your body. Those big, strong hands of his. </p><p>You were sure your eyes said it all. The longing in them so present, Bokuto had to be blind not to notice.</p><p>Another smirk crossed his lips before his eyes closed, his face so close now, you felt his warm breath brushing your skin. </p><p>Trembling in anticipation, your eyes were about to fell shut, lost in the need that felt so incredibly intense that you forgot to think. </p><p>"I knew, you couldn't resist me, Sexy" Bokuto whispered triumphantly, giving you the dirtiest smirk you had ever seen on his face. Before he, without looking at you, turned his face away, pushed himself back and walked through the door, down the stairs, leaving you behind. Needy, confused, embarrassed and angry.<br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p>"Ooh come on, are you seriously still mad at me?" Bokuto laughed wholeheartedly as he sat in the car next to you. The twenty minutes drive you'd ignored him, angry that he had played you like that.</p><p>Keeping a straight but pissed off face, you tried concentrating on the road. </p><p>His hand landed on your knee when his laugh died off.</p><p>"Oi..." he now whispered. "I'm sorry" he chuckled, rubbing his thumb over your leg. </p><p>Containing yourself not to close your eyes in delight, you burst instead.</p><p>"Are you serious right now?" slapping his hand away, you yelled at him. "Get your hand off of me! Yes, I AM mad at you! You made me feel like an idiot!!" </p><p>Bokuto didn't answer, knowing to well you weren't done by now. </p><p>"How could you...Why did you do that? Is it nice to see little girls breaking because you're giving them bedroom eyes?? I told you, MORE THAN ONCE, that I'm NOT one of your sex call girls! I'm your colleague and friend and-" </p><p>"Wait, wait, wait. Friend?" he had the audacity to smirk in this situation. </p><p>Your trail of anger broken, you looked at him with furrowed eyebrows.</p><p>"Yes?! I... We... well, maybe you're not a beloved trusted friend. But we are more than acquaintances since I've seen way too much to be just an acquaintance. I know your naked torso better than mine" your anger was gone by now without you realizing. Your eyes now back on the road, you raised your eyebrow playfully. </p><p>"Woah, it's not my fault if you keep staring at me when I get out of the shower! I know, I'm hot, so I'm not judging you." you were about to retort something to his sly statement, when he continued.</p><p>"Also! My physical therapist sees me like this every other day and we're not friends either!" he laughed. </p><p>"But that's not even the point, Bokuto-san!" a giggle escaped you. "Okay, fine! If you don't want to be friends with me, your loss!" </p><p>
  <em>When</em>
  <em> had </em>
  <em>this</em>
  
  <em>turned</em>
  
  <em>into</em>
  
  <em>another</em>
  
  <em>teasing</em>
  <em> game? </em>
</p><p>"You're right. You're not a friend to me." a slight pout crept it's way on your face. "But what do you call a person you do care for and like having around?" Bokuto finished in a warm voice. </p><p>Finding his eyes, your stomach felt fluttery. His golden orbs narrowed from smiling, his face seemed to beam, a crooked, sheepish smile, warm and inviting, meeting your stunned face. </p><p><em>Wow</em>. </p><p>Feeling your expression melting into a tiny smile as well, you shook your head and sighed.</p><p>That he would admit he'd care for you and liked having you around was nice to hear. The honesty behind his words was so refreshing and nice, it made the butterflies in your stomach even worse. </p><p>"I don't know, Bokuto-san. I think it's called a friend" you laughed, stopping in front of the expensive looking restaurant. </p><p>Bokuto gave you another smile before releasing his seat belt and opened the door. </p><p>"Then you are my friend, Sexy" he said, before leaning in and placed a soft kiss on your cheek. </p><p>Baffled you stared at him, face red.</p><p>"Are you still mad at me?" he asked, half smiling, half.. Worried?! </p><p>"No, I'm not.." you admitted, laughing silently. </p><p>"Good, then my distraction worked!" Bokuto smirked, getting out of the car. </p><p>Gasping in Realisation, you pouted. Bokuto laughed, looking into the car. </p><p>"You sly Bastard" you muttered, starting the engine. </p><p>Bokuto chuckled. "I call you later, alright?" </p><p>"Aight" you nodded, still mad that you had really fallen for that. </p><p>"See ya, kitty" </p><p>"See ya, asshole" </p><p>You had to admit, it was fun with Bokuto. And it got never boring.</p><p>As you drove back home, you felt a smile growing on your face. </p><p><em>This</em><em>damn</em><em> Bastard</em>. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Realization</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Why</em><em>would</em><em> a </em><em>tiny</em><em> kiss </em><em>on</em><em>the</em><em>cheek</em><em> have such an </em><em>effect</em><em>on</em><em>me</em><em>?</em> You thought, restlessly strolling around in your apartment two days later. </p><p><em>It</em><em> had just </em><em>been</em><em> a </em><em>friendly</em><em> kiss. A </em><em>tiny</em><em>, soft, </em><em>gentle</em><em> kiss. </em><em>As</em><em> soft </em><em>and</em><em>gentle</em><em>as</em><em>the</em><em> kisses </em><em>we</em><em> had </em><em>shared</em><em>weeks</em><em> ago..</em> </p><p>Stopping in front of your huge windows, you felt like crying as you looked over the city. There was just one answer why a kiss would affect you as much. And the almost kiss that had happened before. </p><p>You had <em>wanted</em> him to kiss you. You had wanted him to hold you. You had wanted him. That you had liked being kissed and touched by him wasn't because you hadn't had body contact for so long. </p><p>The realization had kicked in after you had dropped Bokuto off to his dinner, your fingers lingering on your cheek, smiling shyly. </p><p>You! Shy! Because of a kiss on your damn cheek! </p><p>There was no way you could deny it. You had a crush on the pervert!</p><p>And if this wasn't bad enough, he was your client. You couldn't, mustn't fall for him. </p><p>What was your heart doing? </p><p>Still staring outside, you closed your eyes for a second, trying to order your thoughts and weird, disgusting feelings. But when a pair of golden eyes popped into your head, your eyes snapped back open. </p><p>
  <em>What</em>
  
  <em>the</em>
  <em> hell… </em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>After drinking four cups of coffee, you decided to meet up with Rin today. Surprising him at work. You had to think of something else. <br/>It was harder than you thought though... </p><p>The kiss on the cheek had been so… intimate. So sweet and innocent. The complete opposite of how he acted every day. </p><p>Slipping into a summer dress and white sneakers, you got into your car and drove off. Rin's work was on the other side of the city, so it'd be a longer ride. </p><p>Driving through Tokyo's streets, you realized how empty your car was. Since it was Saturday, one day before the match, Bokuto had a day off to get his head into the game. He normally spent it with his family. </p><p>It never bothered you, finding it nice to have at least one complete day for yourself, without teases, stupid jokes, dirty smirks and inappropriate stories. </p><p>But today the car felt so extremely empty, that you had to turn the volume of your music to the limit to stop your thoughts from running wild. The window down, you enjoyed the warm breeze hitting your face. But the feeling didn't leave. Even with the music so loud, it was still so silent in your car.</p><p>
  <em>Am I </em>
  <em>seriously</em>
  <em> missing </em>
  <em>him</em>
  
  <em>right</em>
  
  <em>now</em>
  <em>? </em>
</p><p>"I heard he sang a good song.. I heard he had a style. And so I came to see him and listened for a while" you started singing along, not recognizing that you now stopped at a red light, a big car standing next to you. </p><p>The window of the black Mercedes went down, and a way too familiar face appeared, looking at you amused. Not noticing at first, you kept on singing. </p><p>"And there he was this young one.. Stranger to my e-, oh shit!" face burning as hot as the sun, you stared into a pair of gorgeous turquoise eyes. The short brown hair styled back, you wished you could disappear right here and right now. </p><p>
  <em>Why</em>
  
  <em>is</em>
  
  <em>the</em>
  <em> fucking red light not </em>
  <em>turning</em>
  <em> green?!! </em>
</p><p>The guy, smirking, nodded in your direction and you turned the volume down, trying to act cool. </p><p>"Oi, (Y/N), never thought you had such a lovely voice" </p><p>Sosuke Yamazaki. </p><p>"I-.. You.. Hey, Sosuke! That wasn't me!!" you stuttered, not convincing the guy who's smirk grew with every second. </p><p>"We should meet up one day, Cutie. I call ya" Sosuke winked before he drove off. Frozen in embarrassment, you didn't notice the street light had turned green. </p><p>Somebody honked behind you, making you jump, before you kept on driving. In complete silence. Without music. Without a peep. Just you and your thoughts about this embarrassing situation you had brought yourself into. </p><p>
  <em>Why</em>
  
  <em>do</em>
  
  <em>those</em>
  <em> things always happen </em>
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>me</em>
  <em>? </em>
</p><p>At least it made you stop thinking about Bokuto and the strange way you felt about him. <br/><br/><br/></p><p>Spending time with Rin was refreshing and nice. You just sat at the sides, watching him taking care of the little kids, enjoying how fulfilled Rin looked like. </p><p>The look in his eyes told you, he really was in peace with quitting swimming. He was happy. His Co-Worker Makoto, another handsome, good-looking, young guy trained the tiniest ones, seemingly having a good hand with kids, especially the ones who were scared. </p><p>It was nice and comforting to watch them and when Rin's work ended, he asked you to join him and Makoto for dinner. </p><p>Happily nodding, you sat in Makoto's car twenty minutes later, on the way to a restaurant. <br/><br/></p><p>"Say, (Y/N), how was it to work for Rin? It was hard, was it? He's a difficult one" Makoto asked in the car, teasing his colleague and friend. </p><p>"Oi!" Rin protested but joined Makoto's laughter. </p><p>"He was a handful, yes" you answered, loving the carefree atmosphere. </p><p>"But I loved working with him. It never got bored and I have to admit it was nice to see so many muscular guys every week" </p><p>"Same" Makoto smiled dreamingly, meeting your eyes in the mirror.</p><p>"I went to watch Haruka when time allowed since he's my fiancé" he added after noticing your questioning face. </p><p>"Ooh! Congratulations! Just recently?" you asked, genuinely happy for them. </p><p>"Thank you." Makoto laughed embarrassed, scratching his olive green hair. </p><p>"Ah, no, it's been actually about a year now. We couldn't get married just yet, since Haruka.. Well.."</p><p>"He's on the top of his game.. I see" you felt with him. You've met many fiancées of professionals sportsmen having to shut down some of their own wishes and desires due to their boyfriends careers. </p><p>"What about you? You're such a gorgeous woman, you must have a boyfriend at least" instead of letting you answer his question the same way as always (I don't have time for that!), Rin forstalled with a grin. </p><p>"Chibi-chan is bonding with Bokuto Kotaro, ya know the volleyball player. When she told me about her new guy a few weeks ago, she couldn't stop smiling" </p><p>Blushing, you snapped at your friend.</p><p>"Th-that's not true! I-" </p><p>"Bokuto Kotaro! That's really cool! He's really a handsome guy, congrats, (Y/N)!" Makoto interrupted you, winking at you. </p><p>Pouting you leaned back in the backseat, crossing your arms. </p><p>"You should really go for it, Chibi-chan. I'm sure he can't resist you" Rin chuckled, enjoying that Makoto joined his teasing. </p><p>"Well what about you then? When are you going to settle down, huh?" you responded, knowing he hated to get asked that question. </p><p>Growling he gave you a gaze filled with hatred. <br/><br/></p><p>It was a nice, funny evening with the guys. You laughed a lot, listening to their childhood and high school stories, about how Makoto and Haruka fell in love and God, this had to be the most romantic thing, you'd ever heard in your whole life. </p><p>When the three of you parted your ways and you drove back home, you sighed. </p><p>
  <em>Was </em>
  <em>it</em>
  
  <em>that</em>
  
  <em>obvious</em>
  <em>? Rin had </em>
  <em>noticed</em>
  
  <em>from</em>
  
  <em>the</em>
  
  <em>beginning</em>
  <em>, </em>
  <em>when</em>
  <em> not even I had </em>
  <em>known</em>
  
  <em>about</em>
  
  <em>those</em>
  <em> strange feelings. </em>
  <em>Did</em>
  
  <em>Bokuto</em>
  
  <em>know</em>
  <em>? If yes, </em>
  <em>were</em>
  <em> his </em>
  <em>actions</em>
  
  <em>telling</em>
  
  <em>you</em>
  
  <em>that</em>
  <em> he </em>
  <em>liked</em>
  
  <em>you</em>
  
  <em>too</em>
  <em>, or was he just playing? Enjoying </em>
  <em>the</em>
  <em> attention. </em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Tomorrow you had to attend his game for the first time. And you decided to just roll ekh it, without overthinking, without getting lost in your thoughts and wishes and feelings. </p><p>What could possibly happen at a volleyball game that could trigger your feelings? </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Just a Dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Getting out of the shower the next morning, early in the morning, you heard a knock on your door. </p><p>With furrowed brows, you went to the door and opened it, just to be welcomed by three pairs of eyes. </p><p>"What the hell are you doing here?" you yelled, wrapping the towel tighter around your body. </p><p>"Don't worry, honey, we're just here to pick you up. It's your first match day after all, huh?" Atsumu smirked before he let himself in. </p><p>Bokuto bit his lip teasingly as he eyed you up and down. </p><p>"The bus is waiting outside, sexy. You should hurry" he winked, getting inside as well. The last pair of eyes belonged to Shoyo, who smiled at you happily. </p><p>"I'm so excited that you'll come with us! Tobio is coming too, he'll sit next to you probably." he beamed, politely waiting outside until you let him in. </p><p>"Morning Shoyo, Come in and get comfortable, ya?" turning around to face the dorks who now spread their limbs across your couch to not let anyone else steal their space, you sighed. </p><p>"I'll be ready in ten! And Bokuto-san, you told me 7:30 am. Not 7"</p><p>"Oops" he grinned, stretching on your couch. </p><p>Crusing under your breath, you made your way to the bathroom, slipping into a pair of dark blue shorts, and a white dress shirt, which you tugged into your high waisted shorts. Putting on some makeup and drying your hair, you left the bathroom completely ready. </p><p>"Let me grab my bag and my shoes and I'm done" you said, mostly to yourself since the guys were occupied with themselves. </p><p>"Alright!" Shoyo answered though, hopping up and down excitedly. </p><p><em>The</em><em>stamina</em><em>this</em><em> boy had…</em> </p><p>Putting a tiny black bag over your shoulders and slipping into white sneakers, you joined them in the living room. </p><p>"Ready to go?" you asked, getting their attention. </p><p>A whistle followed. "Daayum, girl. You look hot! Has anyone ever told you how nice your legs are?" Atsumu bit his lip as he stood up. </p><p>"Yeah, Bro, I did" Bokuto chuckled before straightening his BJ track suit. Atsumu nodding at him in approval. <br/>The track suit fit him pretty well. The golden stripes and the black complementing his eyes and hair. </p><p>Pushing the blush down, you went to the door, ignoring their comments. </p><p>"Then let's go, shall we?" <br/><br/><br/></p><p>It hadn't been a joke. There was a huge bus waiting outside, blocking the whole street. The windows were dark, so you couldn't see the guys inside. The huge black bus wearing a golden lettering. </p><p>
  <b>Black </b>
  <b>Jackals</b>
  <b>. </b>
</p><p>Following Shoyo, you get into the bus and apologized, embarrassed that the whole team had to wait for you. </p><p>Yamiji met your gaze with a smile. </p><p>"It's fine. I know Bokuto told you the wrong time. He does that every single time" the elder man chuckled. </p><p>"O-okay" you stuttered nervously as you felt the amount of eyes lingering on you. </p><p>"M-morning guys. Sorry that you had to wait" you apologized again, bowing politely. </p><p>"Morning (Y/N)" the whole bus responded, which made you blush even more. </p><p>A body pressed against yours from the back, a familiar scent hitting your nose. </p><p>"Keep going, Sexy. Go to the back, you're sitting next to me" Bokuto purred in your ear, shoving you towards the back of he bus. </p><p>His voice gave you goosebumps. Not only that, also the fact that you'd spend the while drive sitting next to him where he wouldn't stop teasing you. </p><p><em>What</em><em>could</em><em>possibly</em><em> happen at a volleyball game </em><em>that</em><em>could</em><em> trigger </em><em>your</em><em> feelings. </em><em>My</em><em> ass!</em> You remembered your thoughts from yesterday evening. The tension in your body was already so high, that you hoped you'd get through this! </p><p>"Are we going to sit in the last row like teenagers?" you asked, feeling Bokuto's hands resting on your waist to push you further. The parts where his hands touched you were burning.. </p><p>He chuckled. "Nah, I'm always sitting on the left side third row from the back." he explained, before he gently pushed you onto the seat. </p><p>"You can sit by the window. It's normally my seat but I'll make an exception for you" </p><p>"Oh, how nice of you" you raised your eyebrow after settling down on the comfortable seat. </p><p>"Why though?" </p><p>"So you can't run from me" he teased, taking the seat next to you. </p><p>He was right. Now that he was sitting, you knew you couldn't get away from here without him standing up. You were caged. </p><p>Nervously shifting, you met his eyes. </p><p>"W-why should I want to run?" </p><p>His golden orbs half lidded, he smirked. </p><p>"Do you think there's a reason?" he asked instead of answering. </p><p>"M-maybe?" with you, you never know! </p><p>A deep chuckle roared through his throat, making you shiver. </p><p>This is going to be a very, very long ride… <br/><br/><br/></p><p>Thankfully Bokuto didn't really do something. He fell asleep five minutes into the ride. Almost everyone seemed to sleep. Maybe this was part of getting ready, resting, sleeping, listening to music. </p><p>You put your own music on, looking out of the window. Many people stopped and stared, made pictures from the bus or waved. </p><p><em>It</em><em>must</em><em>feel</em><em>amazing</em><em>to</em><em>be</em><em> loved </em><em>by</em><em> fans.</em> You thought, smiling at the happy faces outside. <br/><br/></p><p>Half an hour into the ride, Bokuto groaned slightly, shifting in his seat before his eyes opened slowly. </p><p>"Oi, Sexy." he whispered and poked your arm softly. </p><p>Taking the earbuds out, you looked at him. </p><p>"You okay?" you asked him. </p><p>He chuckled silently. "Yes, I'm alright. Are you cold? We have blankets. Do you want one?" </p><p>Surprised about this sweet question, you smiled at him but shook your head. </p><p>"No, no, I'm fine, I-" you stopped when Bokuto sighed and stood to open the overhead storage to pull the blanket out. </p><p>"You're a mystery to me, (Y/N)-chan." he gently said, before placing the blanket on top of you. </p><p>"Why don't you just say what you want?" </p><p><em>(Y/N)... -chan</em>? Swallowing the lump in your throat, your cheeks turned a deep red. Opening your mouth to answer, you closed it when nothing came out. </p><p>"See?" he got back on his seat, shifting closer to you. "That's better, right?" </p><p>Dropping your head, your breath got stuck. </p><p>"Y-yes, uhm.. Thank you, Bokuto-san" </p><p>Bokuto smirked, satisfied with himself, before he closed his eyes again. </p><p>Still red in the face, you secretly looked at him. </p><p>
  <em>What</em>
  
  <em>did</em>
  <em> he </em>
  <em>mean</em>
  
  <em>that</em>
  <em> I was a </em>
  <em>mystery</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>him</em>
  <em>? </em>
  <em>Does</em>
  <em> he think </em>
  <em>about</em>
  
  <em>me</em>
  
  <em>as</em>
  <em> well? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>No.. He just </em>
  <em>wanted</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>be</em>
  
  <em>nice</em>
  <em>. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But</em>
  <em> even </em>
  <em>that</em>
  <em> point </em>
  <em>seems</em>
  <em> off. </em>
  <em>Why</em>
  
  <em>did</em>
  <em> he </em>
  <em>want</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>be</em>
  
  <em>nice</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>me</em>
  <em>? </em>
</p><p>Genuinely nice, that is. </p><p>His features were soft, a tiny smile on his lips. You heard the music he was listening to, it seemed to be a slow song. </p><p>What was it that you felt being around him? Months ago you'd never thought you would start thinking about him like that. But it was no use to deny it. Bokuto made you feel warm and cozy, strange and tingly. He made you mad, he made you laugh, he made you blush, oh so many times. </p><p>And now sitting next to him, feeling his broad shoulder resting against yours, you couldn't stop thinking about how his hands had touched you the night he had been drunk. How his lips had kissed yours, slowly, passionately, gently. </p><p>Heat spread through your body at your memory. You remembered his soft moans and his fast breathing. Hell, you were really fallen for that idiot.</p><p>Wrapping yourself into the blanket, you decided to cover his body with the cozy warmth as well. Taking in his amazing scent, you closed your eyes. </p><p>You wanted him close. Slightly leaning against his arm, you didn't care if he'd wake up, catching you in this position. He was so warm and big, like a giant pillow. </p><p>Feeling tired all of a sudden, you rested your head on his shoulder. It was so comfortable, so nice to be this close to him. Closing your eyes in contentment, you got out of your shoes, rested your legs on the seat and grabbed his arm for support. </p><p>The blanket wrapped around the both of you, you too fell asleep in the silent bus. <br/><br/><br/></p><p>After what felt like the best sleep you had ever had, you slightly woke up when a big, soft hand squeezed your thigh lovingly. Still tired and not at all back to reality, you absent-mindedly pushed into the hand, moaning tiredly, but contently at the body contact. </p><p>The heat next to you increasing, you rubbed your head against the hard yet warm surface it was resting on, your eyes still closed, too heavy to open them by now. </p><p>"(Y/N)-chan…" a whisper in your ear made you stir slightly. </p><p>"Hm?" you answered, still more asleep than awake, completely comfortable. </p><p>"I really want to kiss you right now." the voice told you and you smiled. </p><p>"If you dare to" you whispered back, not realizing if this dream was a dream or reality. </p><p>For seconds nothing happened and you fell back to sleep completely. </p><p>In your dream Bokuto gently laid his hand on your chin, raising it slowly before he kissed you, warm, soft, gentle. </p><p>
  <em>What</em>
  <em> an </em>
  <em>amazing</em>
  
  <em>dream</em>
  <em>… </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. The Mask</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Bokuto woke up after some time, he felt a light body leaning against his, a tiny hand grabbing his arm tightly. </p><p>Looking to his right, he found (Y/N)'s head resting on his shoulder. </p><p>A tiny smile crept on his lips. </p><p>Carefully not to wake her, he shifted in his seat. He couldn't feel his legs anymore but he didn't want her to leave her current position. </p><p>She smelled extremely nice, the same perfume he had smelled after the night he had been drunk as fuck. </p><p>Bokuto remembered every single second of that night. The way her lips felt against his, her incredibly soft skin underneath his hands, her warm, perfect breasts. Her silent moans.. </p><p>Thinking of it, he felt his pants getting tighter. </p><p>Groaning silently in despair, he closed his eyes. </p><p>This woman would be his end. </p><p>There was a reason why he had asked Yachi to hire her for him. </p><p>Not only because his former assistant got fired, but also because (Y/N) had a great reputation in the business. She cared for her clients, she worried about them, she'd sometimes go too far in doing this that she'd stop thinking about herself. </p><p>And after having a talk with Yamiji, both of them had agreed that it would be good for Bokuto to have her as his assistant. </p><p>Bokuto felt extremely empty. All the time. He missed Akaashi and the old times. The times where he had been himself. The times where he didn't have to put on a mask to be loved. </p><p>Half of his life he had already worn this mask. First at his parents house, trying to deny his love for volleyball. Acting as if he didn't care just to not get beaten up again for something he loved. </p><p>And the mask he wore now, since he had figured that this way, people seemed to show interest in him and his skills. </p><p>Girls, fans, clubs (except BJ) had only been interested in him when he had acted like a total asshole. </p><p>This wasn't his true self. But since he had promised Akaashi he'd become a professional player, he'd done everything in his might to get to that point. </p><p>Many clubs had rejected him due to his happy-go-lucky personality. They said he was too lively, too unconcentrated, too much. </p><p>Girls, he had really liked, had rejected him, being too nice, too soft, too clingy, expecting a rough, hard dude whenever they learned he was a professional. </p><p>People had turned his back on him. </p><p>People he had called friends. Thinking his real self was the mask. Thinking he would really be an asshole. How could he tell them they were wrong when they believed they were right? </p><p>There were only a few people left he trusted. </p><p>Kuroo, his friend from trainingscamp, Yamiji, his coach in high school and now manager. His family, Mr. And Mrs. Akaashi, Shoyo and Atsumu. </p><p>They were the only people that knew him. Him. Not the guy he was pretending to be. </p><p>Bokuto was grateful for every single one of them. Ever since he had left his parents, he had been living on his own, never wanting to ever see his parents again. </p><p>The scars, they had left, so deep, he didn't want to and never could forgive them. </p><p>They had never cared for his dreams. They had punished him for his dreams. </p><p>Bokuto would never forget the day when his mother had found the volleyball, Akaashi had given him for his 9th birthday. He had cried himself to sleep, covered in bruises, his back bleeding from the violent hits of the belt. </p><p>He had never understood why something he loved should be punished. And he never wanted to either. </p><p>Keijis family had taught him, that his dreams were something precious, something worth fighting for. They gave him strength. They gave him the needed push to get through everything that happened at home. </p><p>They taught him love. </p><p>Although bokuto had grown up in a violent household, he still decided to smile. Every single time. Smiling helped. It felt like cheating your soul, the smile healing the wounds that no one could see but would never heal completely. </p><p>Maybe he should've given into the dark part of his self. This way he wouldn't have to put a mask on. He'd really be the asshole everyone expected him to be. The asshole with a dark past. </p><p>But no… The bright, happy part of him had been stronger. It had always been. And since the people who really liked him, especially Akaashi, loved this part of him the most, he would never stop keeping this part of himself, even if he had to hide it most of the time. </p><p>It was still there. <br/>Maybe he would never get rid of his new self completely, but he didn't care. As long as they were people he trusted. It still made him sad that society had made him do that. Change his self completely.</p><p>Rei and Konoha, for example, where two exceptions. They loved the real Bokuto. So he loved being around them. Photoshootings with them brought him back to his past and it felt nice.</p><p>Looking around the bus, he found everyone sleeping. Turning back to (Y/N), he wanted to feel her, her perfect strands of hair. She was so damn beautiful... <br/>Making sure nobody could see Bokuto raised his hand and gently started stroking her insanely soft hair. </p><p>Ever since she was in his life he felt his mask breaking apart. He had troubled her, he had been bad to her so many times. Still she stayed by his side. </p><p>All the others hadn't managed him. They had wanted to be close to the celebrity, trying to flirt trying to get with him, trying to get into the newspaper. </p><p>It hadn't taken him long to notice that they didn't care for him. Just his status. So he had fired them, while rumors said, he had been such an asshole that they had quit. </p><p>He didn't care. Everyone already thought he was a bad boy.</p><p>But she didn't. For some reason this woman didn't give up. </p><p>And although he had yelled at her in his drunken state, afraid that she also just wanted his status, and had accused her to be just like all the other people around him, she stayed. </p><p>The kiss that night hadn't happened out of a drunken state. To be completely honest to himself, he had tested her. </p><p>Yes, she was beautiful, sexy and extremely hot. But he wanted to know if she'd push him away if he'd get too close to his old self. </p><p>And she had, but not for the reason he had thought. But because she truly cared. </p><p>Bokuto had found himself dreaming of her every single night from there on. She was stuck in his head. The way her hair fell down her shoulders, how her eyes watched him secretly in the car, her hands intertwining with his, the warm smile she gave him. </p><p>Maybe he was fucked. Extremely fucked up. But (Y/N) seemed to look behind that, she wanted to know the reasons. </p><p>There would be a day when he'd tell her. About Akaashi, about his past, the reason behind his behavior. But he wasn't ready yet. He was scared and unsure of how she would react. </p><p>Yamiji had told him that she had come to him the day after Akaashi's obit. </p><p>She truly cared. But she had to wait just a little longer… </p><p>(Y/N) was his number twelve, his favorite number. The number of Akaashi's parental home. The number on his BJ jersey. </p><p>Someday she'd understand why this meant so much to him. And when the time was right, she'd be happy with him. </p><p>Absent-mindedly his other hand slipped between her naked legs. Her tiny shorts had slipped up while sitting in her current position. The skin of her thigh so soft, he imagined how good they would taste like. <br/><br/></p><p>Bokuto Kotaro was a good man. But he was still a pervert. He could go so far and even say he was kind of addicted to sex. It was fun, it was hot, it was the perfect stress relief. So what was wrong about that? </p><p>He really… really wanted to hold her. All the teasing had made him so damn horny, hoping she'd one day break and do the first step by herself. He didn't dare to. </p><p>He was too scared of losing her. She'd become an important support, an important person, an important woman in his life. </p><p>Also.. She managed him to act like his old self more and more. He knew there was something more that he wanted from her. She'd already gotten so close, he never wanted her to leave ever again. </p><p>But how tell her when all she wanted was to get closer as friends or colleagues? </p><p>Squeezing her thigh gently, he bit his lip to suppress a moan. </p><p>
  <em>Fuck… </em>
</p><p>To his horror, (Y/N) stirred in her sleep, letting out the sweetest sound of all. And it was arousing him to no end. The almost kiss had almost made him fall apart. Bokuto still held the longing inside, captured in his body. That's why even the tiniest things made all of the hunger come back even worse. </p><p>(Y/N) gently rubbed her head against his shoulder sighing comfortably. The sight next to him, the third button of her shirt dress open, he fisted his hands into the blanket before he heard himself speaking. </p><p>"(Y/N)-chan" he whispered, his eyes fixed on her plump, rosy lips. </p><p>"Hm?" she answered, her voice heavy with sleep. </p><p>"I really want to kiss you right now" he breathed into her ear, barely able to control himself anymore. </p><p><em>Just one kiss.. Just one..</em> </p><p>"If you dare to" she whispered back, eyes still closed breathing slow. </p><p>Bokuto wasn't sure if she was sleeping, sleep talking even. But her answer was so bitter sweet, so extremely inviting, that he knew instantly he had lost against his instincts and needs. </p><p>Hesitating for another few seconds, Bokuto looked around one more time before his hand traveled underneath her chin. Lifting her head gently, he stared at her beautiful face and those sweet lips slightly parted, as if they were awaiting him. </p><p>Her delicate hand stroked his arm for a very short time and that's when he finally gave up, leaning in to kiss her. </p><p>The moment his lips met hers, endorphins rushed through every part of his body, her taste so special and sweet, he wanted to claim her here and now. </p><p>She kissed back, very lightly, but still. </p><p>Excited, nervous, happy and scared Bokuto pulled away, breathless. </p><p>Her head fell down to his shoulder and he shook his head smiling. </p><p>She'd really been asleep. </p><p>And he hoped, that in her dream he'd been the one she'd been kissing. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Match Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ever since waking up after that amazing dream of yours, Bokuto acted a little off. He didn't talk, just focused ahead. But you knee it was just him being concentrated on the game. So you didn't worry.</p><p>Once the bus stopped in front of the gym, you're eyes went wide. You weren't used to this kind of greeting at all.</p><p>Fans, press, tv, security guards, even police. At swimming tournaments would never happen something like this. But this right here... was actually kind of frightening. From inside you heard the screams, yelling and cheering. It was so damn loud already, you could only imagine how bad it was once you left the bus.</p><p>"Oi, Sexy. When we get out, stay next to me. You hear me?" Bokuto didn't look at you when he told you in serious voice.</p><p>Nodding, you stood from your seat when half of his teammates had already left the bus. Out of the window you could see Shoyo's tall boyfriend pushing him gently through the crowds, being his own personal bodyguard.</p><p>Smiling at the sight, you jumped when Bokuto called for you. Turning you saw him waiting for you at the front of the bus, waving his hand impatiently.</p><p>"C'me on, take my hand" he demanded, seeming pissed, holding out his hand for you.</p><p>"As if I'd do that. Am I a little girl?" you snapped but gasped when Bokuto grabbed your hand anyway and dragged you along with him. Your tiny hand getting lost in his big one.</p><p>Now that you were outside, you understood. People were pushing eachother in every direction. There was barely any space to get through the crowd. It was so incredivly loud here. You could hear fans screaming Bokuto's name, reporters yelling random questions into the line of players that tried to get through. Microphones hanging in the air over your head, you felt dizzy immediately.</p><p>Atsumu got lost in the fan crowd for a short time, enjoying the attention, taking photos, giving autographs, talking to the reporters. He seemed to be the one player who always did this. Maybe even to distract everyone from the rest of the team so they could get inside safely.</p><p>The security guards tried everything to push the fans back, but there were so many they barely got through. And it happened that your hand lost Bokuto's, too many people trying to touch him, trying to get his attention, while he kept walking.</p><p>Suddenly scared they would run you over, you felt extremely uneasy and anxious. Turning and turning you tried to find Bokuto in the crowd, but it was no use. He was gone.</p><p>Almost hyperventilating, you felt stupid and helpless, when two hands grabbed you from the back and pushed you against a broad chest.</p><p>"Damn, Sexy. It's like taking care of a child. We'll walk like this now, don't let go. We're still about 100m away from the gym." Bokuto's deep voice vibrating through your body, you just nodded, letting his broad arms wrap around your frame, shoving you along in front of him.</p><p>Finally reaching the gym, Bokuto let go and pulled you aside.</p><p>"You alright?" without awaiting an answer, he continued, looking you dead in the eyes. "You'll stay with Yamiji and Kageyama" he pointed towards Shoyo's boyfriend, not leaving any space for discussion.</p><p>
  <em>Is</em>
  <em> he </em>
  <em>worried</em>
  
  <em>about</em>
  
  <em>me</em>
  <em>?</em>
</p><p>"Okay" you just answered before giving him a tiny smile. "Good Luck, Bokuto-san. Take care"</p><p>You left him behind, baffled, your identification card in your hand before you pulled it over your head.</p><p>"Ready, (Y/N)?" Yamiji asked you once you reached them. All the managers and private visitors of the players would sit together in the VIP lounge, having the best view on the court.</p><p>Following Yamiji and the tall man called Kageyama up the stairs, you gasped in wonder when you entered the huge gym. This was so different from the swimming tournaments you'd always visited.</p><p>One big court, cameras everywhere, fans screaming, singing, cheering for their team. Since the Black Jackals were guests, there were way more fans from the other team.</p><p>3/4 of the gym dressed in green, yellow jerseys, green flags, yellow banners.</p><p>The other quarter of the gym was covered in black and golden flags. The fans looked like a huge, scary thunder cloud, the golden lightening striking through the dark. <br/>It looked amazing, terrifying even. The low but steady sounds of drums adding to the atmosphere the guests fans created.</p><p>Taking a seat between Yamiji and Kageyama you took in the feeling and excitement that filled the gym.</p><p>"Wow, this is amazing" you breathed, talking to no one in particular. Yamiji chuckled, patting your shoulder softly.</p><p>"Wait until the game starts, it will get even louder" he grinned, his tired eyes looking at you warmly.</p><p>"It's true." the black haired male to your right said in an emotionless voice, his eyes darting the court in front of you. "The dumbass always wanted me to come to his games. I don't like to admit it but the atmosphere at Black Jackals games is always pretty sick"</p><p>Surprised that Kageyama seemed to be able to form more than one sentence, you smiled at him, although he didn't see. His eyes were glistening. His 'dumbass' was about to play today and he was thrilled to watch him.</p><p><em>What</em><em> a sweet </em><em>couple</em><em>, </em>you thought, asking yourself though how such a silent, serious guy had fallen for the loud ball of engery Shoyo was.</p><p>
  <em>Love </em>
  <em>has</em>
  <em> no limits, </em>
  <em>it</em>
  
  <em>seems</em>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>A few minutes later the home team entered the court, starting their warmup. The noise in the gym increased immensely. <br/>Especially when the guests team finally arrived, shortly after and now the black wall of BJ fans started to cheer as well.</p><p>One after the other entered the field, stretching, spiking, serving.</p><p>To be honest up until now you had no idea how volleyball even worked. You knew Bokuto was a Wing Spiker, or more precisely, an Outside Hitter. The one who'd smash the ball onto the other teams field after receiving a toss from the... Setter, you guessed was the right word.</p><p>When the BJ Fans started to scream Bokuto's name louder and louder, you looked down to the entrance where he indeed had just entered.</p><p>At the sight in front of you, your mouth went dry. <br/>The jersey clung to his broad body tightly, the shorts wide but short, his significant long knee pads showing underneath, reaching just shortly underneath his knees.</p><p>His hair was gelled back to not annoy him while playing. His face serious, dark and concentrated. His fists clenched he went towards Shoyo who was loosening his muscles at the moment, talking to him.</p><p>You couldn't deny it. Bokuto looked extremely attractive in his jersey. The fact that his muscles showed through only added to his shredded built.</p><p>Twenty minutes later the game started. You didn't understand one thing, you couldn't follow their fast movements, nor the reasons people cheered. <br/>But what you did understand, was that you had never seen something so exciting, thrilling before.</p><p>The way the crowd went crazy, the fans singing and cheering. It was something you weren't used to at all. But you loved it. Rin's tournaments had been so different compared to this!</p><p>Whenever Bokuto slammed the ball with all his might, you shivered, impressed by his strength, power and stamina. <br/>Surprised you realized that you liked watching him play.<br/>It was sexy.<br/>He was sexy.</p><p>The way he moved, the way he screamed, the way his face warped in concentration, from the will to fight and from the stress his body was going through right now. You cursed yourself for not coming with him sooner.</p><p>By the time they reached the third set, you noticed Kageyama nervously shifting in his seat. His eyes were fixed on his boyfriend, the tiniest on the field, who did his very best to not let his height be a disadvantage.</p><p>You understood Kageyama perfectly. This match was pretty intense. The Black Jackals had lost their first set, but had won the second and now it was 23:24 for Bokuto's team.</p><p>They had the match ball. If they would get the next point, as Yamiji had explained, they would win the match.</p><p>But when Hinata's spike got blocked by a tall blond with glasses, Kageyama rose from his seat. <br/>"Fuck! You fucking idiot! Jump higher!" he yelled, though Shoyo could never have heard it.</p><p>His fists were clenched and he looked extremely troubled watching his 'idiot' play. You had to suppress a giggle at the sight of him.</p><p>The home team had to serve now, Bokuto standing in the middle, second row, ready to receive. His back was facing you. <br/>He leaned over a little, knees bend, his arms next to his body, protectively shielding his circumstances from the servers sight.</p><p>You couldn't see his face. But you knew he was ready. They had to get the next point.</p><p>The whistle blow made you stand up as well. You couldn't keep sitting on your seat. It was way too much right now. <br/>The ball got served, flew over the net into Bokuto's direction.</p><p>Reacting within milliseconds, Bokuto received the ball, clear and easy. Atsumu got in position and tossed it to wards Shoyo.</p><p>And, although you had seen Shoyo jumping and spiking already, in this moment, it looked like he was flying. It was amazing.</p><p>Stunned you watched how his hand perfectly met the ball, only to slam down the ground, leaving the home team no choice to react.</p><p>You were about to cheer happily, throwing your hands up in the air, when Kageyama broke into curses and cussing. <br/>The crowd went crazy. But not the black wall you were sitting in. The green, yellow one did.</p><p>Confused you looked at the referee. He held his flag high in the air, saying something you didn't understand.</p><p>"Shoyo touched the net after spiking" Yamiji explained and sighed.</p><p>"So they lost?" you asked him, the excitement and happiness leaving your body.</p><p>The elder man nodded, giving you a tiny smile.</p><p>"Let's go. We should go down and wait for them by the bus"</p><p>Following Yamiji towards the exit, your eyes drifted back onto the court. Bokuto patted Hinata's shoulder, trying to comfort him, although he himself looked even worse.</p><p>Getting outside with Kageyama, Yamiji and the other Managers and acquaintances, you wondered if Bokuto and Shoyo would be alright.</p><p>Time passed. Maybe an hour, maybe two before slowly one player after the other finally came back to the bus.</p><p>The press conference was over and they had showered afterwards. But still Bokuto was missing.</p><p>Sitting on the same seat as on your drive here, Shoyo walked towards you.</p><p>"(Y/N)-chan" he said, his usual bright eyes, holding a child like sadness, if not even embaressment. <br/>"Would you look after Bokuto-san? I think he's still in the locker rooms. He's always pretty.. Down when we're losing a match" he explained, fidgeting with his hands.</p><p><em>So </em><em>it</em><em>wasn't</em><em>something</em><em> I just </em><em>imagined</em><em>. </em>You thought, nodding at Shoyo's words, standing up.</p><p>"I'll look for him" Following Shoyo to the front until he sat down next to Kageyama, who looked like he was about to scold Hinata for the next five hours straight, you told Yamiji you'd search for Bokuto and left the bus.</p><p>To your relief there were still Bodyguards standing outside the gym, and you asked them how you'd find the locker rooms of the guests team. <br/>At first the big guy eyed you, seemingly trying to find out if you were a fangirl or not.</p><p>"Im Bokuto Kotaro's personal assistant." you explained, showing off your ID card.</p><p>He nodded shortly before he lead you towards the locker rooms.</p><p>Now that you were on your way, you asked yourself what you should say to cheer Bokuto up.<br/>Maybe he wasn't even sad. He was Bokuto Kotaro, God damn. <br/>He was probably just flirting with some random girl or something.</p><p>
  <em>Stupid Bastard.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Emotions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The bodyguard left you when you arrived at the locker rooms. Next to the door they had attached a sign reading 'Black Jackals'.</p><p>Sighing deeply, you laid your hand on the handle and peaked through the door. </p><p>What you saw was not at all something you had expected.</p><p>Your face fell, going pale, and you entered silently, closing the door behind you. </p><p>Sitting on a bench on the left, Bokuto sat with his face buried in his hands. He still wore his jersey. </p><p>He didn't seem to have noticed you by now, because he kept his face down.</p><p>Approaching him slowly and worried, you stopped when you noticed his body shivering slightly.</p><p>"Bokuto-san" your soft, silent voice filled the silence when you got on your knees in front of him and laid a hand on his leg.</p><p>"Are you okay?"</p><p>Sniffing Bokuto finally rose his head. "Why do you keep asking me that, Sexy?"</p><p>Your worry grew intensely when you saw his red and puffy eyes locking with yours. </p><p>He was crying. </p><p>His eyes were squinted, his eyebrows furrowed and he over all did not look like the Bokuto you were used to. You had seen him vulnerable by now. But never like this. Now he looked lost. </p><p>"I already told you because I worry about you" you whispered, squeezing his leg gently. </p><p>"Why?" he asked, not caring to wipe the tears away that fell from his puffy eyes. </p><p>"Because I care for you" </p><p>"Why?" he repeated, looking down at the tiny hand that rested on his leg. </p><p>"I'm an asshole, remember? A pervert. Disrespectful, loud, naughty. Why do you care for me?" </p><p>Gently brushing a strand of hair, that had fallen into his face, back, you took a deep breath as you organized the thoughts in your head. </p><p>"You see.. I kind of like that pervert and asshole. I didn't at first, but after some time I grew fond of him" you told him, looking him straight in the eyes. </p><p>"Also.. I'm sure this is not your real self" you added, almost whispering by now. Bokuto's eyes slightly grew but he didn't answer. </p><p>Tears swimming in his beautiful eyes, you wanted nothing more than to hold and protect him. </p><p>It broke your heart to see him like this. The picture on his nightstand shooting through your mind in this moment, your emotions overwhelmed you.</p><p>Gently pushing his hands away from his legs, you wrapped your arms around him. Holding him tightly against you, you hoped it would comfort him a little. </p><p>"Why are you sad, Bokuto-san?" you asked again, face in the crook of his neck. "It hurts me to see you like this."</p><p>A weak chuckle vibrated through his chest right into your body. </p><p>He took a deep, shaky breath before he started talking in a raspy voice. </p><p>"(Y/N)-chan.." he breathed, his arms finding their way around you too and pulled you closer. </p><p>"Please, don't leave me" </p><p>The sadness in his voice was so heavy, you had to swallow your own tears. </p><p>What the hell had happened that a loss could break him like that? Why did he ask something like that? </p><p>Squeezing him tightly, you shook your head. </p><p>"I won't. I promise" </p><p>For moments, longer than you'd expected, you just held each other, your hand roaming over his back over and over to help him feel better.</p><p>Running your other hand through his hair, you leaned into him and closed your eyes. This felt nice.. Although it hurt to see him like that, you enjoyed having him this close. He was opening up, even showing himself in his most vulnerable moment.</p><p>Silent sobs filled the room, nothing else. <br/>There was something Bokuto wanted to say, you felt it. But he didn't. He kept silent. He didn't seem ready to tell you the reason why he was crying and you wouldn't force him to do so. You knew it wasn't only about the loss. There was something more. </p><p>Pulling back from the hug after another while, your hands found their way to his face, stroking his cheeks softly. His tears had died off. Weak and tired Bokuto's eyes took in the features of your face before the tiniest smile played on his lips.</p><p>"Oi..." he leaned his face into your hand and closed his eyes in contentment.</p><p>"Thank you, (Y/N)"</p><p>Returning the smile, your hand left his face. "Your welcome"</p><p>Eyes still closed Bokuto leaned forward to rest his forehead against yours. It made your heart stop for a second.</p><p>You didn't dare to move nor to destroy the moment, you were sharing with him.</p><p>But you longed for him to kiss you...</p><p>"Do you... By chance.. Feel good enough to return to the bus?" you asked after a while.</p><p>Releasing a breath, that brushed your face, Bokuto met your eyes.</p><p>"I told Yamiji to drive off without us"</p><p>Pushing back, you looked at him startled.</p><p>"What???" you got onto your feet. </p><p>The handsome man in front of you chuckled again, sitting up straight.</p><p>"They drove off"he repeated dryly.</p><p>"But why? How- where are we supposed go? It's impossible to find a train back home nor a taxi. Do you kno-" his big hand on your mouth stopped your from talking.</p><p>"We'll find a hotel near the gym" he stated, putting his track suit on top of his jersey.</p><p>"Let's go"</p><p>Waving your hand and shaking your head, you snapped.</p><p>"No way! I'm not going to stay here over night! Especially not with an idiot like you!"<br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p>Standing in front of the reception, waiting for the woman behind the counter to type something into her tiny computer, you scoffed.</p><p>"I hate you"</p><p>Bokuto chuckled again and poked your arm gently.</p><p>"Come on, don't be like that. It's only one night, Sexy. And if you feel lonely or if you're scared I'll come to your room and hold you close" he smirked, nothing left from the crying Bokuto half an hour ago.</p><p>Hissing, you took a step away from him.</p><p>"As if"</p><p>"Excuse me, Sir. I'm sorry, but we only have one room left. Would you still like to take it?"</p><p>"Yes"</p><p>"No"</p><p>Confused the woman looked from you to Bokuto and back to you.</p><p>Sighing, Bokuto turned to face you.</p><p>"Do you want to sleep on the street? It's a nice hotel, I'll treat you with breakfast tomorrow morning and then we'll drive back home, okay? It's just one night"</p><p>"You'll sleep on the floor" you demanded after a second of hesitation.</p><p>"Okay" Bokuto smirked and brushed his hair out of his face.</p><p>"We'll take the room, thank you"<br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p>Lying on the bed exhausted and tired, you waited for Bokuto to return from the shower so you could shower after him.</p><p>Bokuto had cried in your arms. He had let you comfort him. He hadn't send you away. Showing you you had earned some of his trust. You were sure he had been really close to telling you whatever went through his head. But had decided against it in the very last minute.</p><p>Remembering your hug and him resting his head against yours, you felt a blush growing on your face.</p><p>It had been nice to be this close to him. This hadn't been what you had intended to happen. To become this close with him. But it still felt nice. </p><p>Even if you'd finally admit that your crush wasn't just a crush, you still had no idea how he felt about you. You just knew, he didn't want to lose you. But as what? As his personal assistant? His acquaintance? His friend?</p><p>A desperate sigh left your lips when you let your head fall down onto the soft, warm sheets underneath your tired body.</p><p>You could already see the news.</p><p>Former manager falls in love with her new client. - pathetic or romantic?</p><p>Right now you just felt pathetic. Like a drunken teenage girl fangirling over the hottest guy in school. Internally, but still.</p><p>"Oi, Sexy" Bokuto called and you turned, only to blush even worse when he stood there, in his boxers, hair wet face red from the hot shower.</p><p>"Shower is free now" he told you randomly and picked up an apple from the table.</p><p>Staring at his ripped torso and those impressive thighs, you didn't realize you were looking at him for way too long by now. Damn.. You could stare at him forever. He was quite tan and when he rose his hand to take a bite from the apple, his muscles flexed underneath his movements. </p><p>"Do you want me to give you a show? If you want to keep staring so badly" amused he looked at you with one raised eyebrow. Way too damn slowly moving his hips, his smirk grew dirtier by the second before you snapped out of it and stood from the bed embarrassed. </p><p>Making your way towards the bathroom, Bokuto grabbed you wrist gently.</p><p>"Where's the sweet guy from one hour ago? I really liked him" you answered sighing dramatically, a smile playing on your lips. </p><p>Bokuto pulled you closer, too close.</p><p>"Just a few people get to see me like this, you should feel special" he chuckled. "Also.. If I remember correctly" he turned you around and pulled you even closer, "you said you liked the pervert I am. Or did you change your mind?"</p><p>His fingertips brushed against your chin, raising it to meet his lustful eyes.</p><p><em>Lustful</em>?</p><p>Your body betrayed you, going weak as you stared into his golden orbs. Heat centered in your stomach, adding to the sensation of being so horribly close to him.</p><p>It was pathetic, really.</p><p>"I-I gotta go take a shower" you stuttered and got out of his grip, not missing his low, sexy chuckle.</p><p>"I'm here when you need me" </p><p>Scoffing, you closed the door behind you and got into the shower. </p><p><em>This</em><em> guy </em><em>is</em><em>driving</em><em>me</em><em>crazy</em><em>… How </em><em>the</em><em> hell </em><em>shall</em><em> I </em><em>stay</em><em>calm</em><em>?</em> </p><p>Letting the hot water run down your neck, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. </p><p><em>Fallen </em><em>for</em><em>Bokuto</em><em>, huh? </em><em>And</em><em>now</em><em>I'm</em><em>trapped</em><em> in a hotel </em><em>room</em><em>with</em><em>him</em><em>.. </em><em>Faith</em><em>hates</em><em>me</em><em>.</em> </p><p>The problem wasn't that you were stuck with him. </p><p>Rather the fact that you <em>liked</em> being stuck with him. The fact that you yourself didn't know what you would do being here with him. You didn't trust in your own decisions anymore. At least not when it came to the idiot. </p><p>
  <em>This</em>
  <em> had </em>
  <em>nothing</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>do</em>
  
  <em>with</em>
  <em> rational </em>
  <em>thinking</em>
  
  <em>anymore</em>
  <em>. </em>
  <em>It</em>
  <em> was just </em>
  <em>plain</em>
  <em> stupid. </em>
  <em>Where</em>
  
  <em>is</em>
  
  <em>my</em>
  <em> old </em>
  <em>me</em>
  <em>? </em>
  <em>The</em>
  <em> professional one? </em>
  <em>The</em>
  <em> one I had </em>
  <em>been</em>
  
  <em>with</em>
  <em> Rin? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Did</em>
  
  <em>she</em>
  
  <em>only</em>
  
  <em>existed</em>
  
  <em>when</em>
  <em> I was </em>
  <em>with</em>
  <em> Rin? </em>
</p><p>The answer was simple. </p><p><em>Yes… Because I </em><em>hadn't</em><em>been</em><em> in love </em><em>with</em><em> Rin…</em> </p><p>After your shower, you wrapped a towel around you and realized in horror, that you hadn't had any changing clothes with you. Slowly opening the door to see where Bokuto was, you exited the bathroom silently and searched for Bokuto's bag.</p><p>Since you always helped him to pack his bags, you knew he packed more than one change of clothing. </p><p>While searching for it in the dark, you saw Bokuto lying on the bed, already asleep. </p><p><em>This</em><em>damn</em><em> Bastard</em>. </p><p>His body was spread across the bed, giving you only little space to lay down. </p><p>Lying on his chest, his face was turned to the left, his mouth slightly open. </p><p>Annoyed you approached him, about to wake him up when you noticed the stack of clothing he had nearly placed onto the ieft side of the bed. </p><p>For you, you figured, since he was already dressed in fresh clothing. </p><p>Sighing in defeat, with a tiny smile, you went to the left side and picked up the clothes. A wide shirt and a pair of boxers. </p><p>Debatting whether you should change in the bathroom or if it was safe to do it here, you rubbed your temples and leaned onto the bed afterwards waving your hand in front of Bokuto's face. He didn't react at all. </p><p><em>Fuck </em><em>it</em><em>.</em> you thought and let the towel drop to the floor, your back facing the sleeping man. </p><p>Picking up the boxers, you slipped into them.</p><p>Behind you, a muffled moan caught your attention. </p><p>Shocked you turned, covering your bare chest. </p><p>"Could you please stop teasing me, Sexy? I can't take it.." Bokuto groaned in a husky voice, one of his eyes opened just the tiniest bit. </p><p>Turning an impossible shade of red, you covered yourself with the shirt he had taken out for you. </p><p>"Th-then just don't look, you fucking pervert!!" you snapped, extremely embarrassed that he had seen you half naked. Although it was dark inside, the streetlamps outside the window lit the room, making it possible to see more than just features. </p><p>"How though?" Bokuto responded, pressing himself up to sit on the bed. </p><p>"Close your God damn eyes again! And what do you mean with 'teasing'? I'm not running around half naked all the time!" you pouted, the shirt pressed against your naked body. </p><p>"Are you kidding me?" he raised his eyebrows, fully awake again. "Those tiny skirts, tight dress shirts, the dresses and hell, don't tell me the third button on your dress shirt pops open by itself every single time" </p><p>Pouting even more, you scoffed. In a silent, flustered voice, you answered. <br/>"I didn't do it on purpose, if that's what you're trying to say.."</p><p>Bokuto's lips turned into a smirk. </p><p>There was silence for a minute, a very, very long minute, where his eyes roamed over your body, with you standing next to the bed. </p><p>It was kind of a dirty moment, as if he'd eye up his prey. But you didn't feel dirty. <em>This</em> didn't feel dirty. It felt sexy and hot, how Bokuto slowly took in the parts of your body that were exposed to him. Neck, shoulders, legs and arms, while the parts he longed to see were hidden. </p><p>"You should get dressed, Sexy" he teased further, now lying on his back, resting on his arms. </p><p>Swallowing hard, you found yourself hesitating. His shirt was ridden up, exposing the tiniest bit of skin. </p><p>The urge to travel your hands underneath his shirt to finally, <em>finally</em>, feel his skin brushing your fingertips, made your head turn. </p><p>
  <em>There's</em>
  <em> no rational </em>
  <em>thinking</em>
  
  <em>left</em>
  <em>. </em>
</p><p>Especially when you remembered when he had touched you the first time. And right now.. Your body was aching for those hands to touch you again. The way he was lying there, as if he was waiting for you, as if he was waiting for you to make the first step, let the hidden desire break through. </p><p>Feeling your heart beating in your chest, you pushed down the thoughts, that told you to stop. But you had already made your decision. </p><p>Dropping his shirt to the floor, you looked at him with half lidded eyes. His on the other hand grew impossibly big. </p><p>"What if I don't want to?" you purred and got closer to the bed. </p><p>Out of reflex, Bokuto crawled away a bit, surprised and flustered about your sudden actions. You could see his flushed cheeks even in the dark. </p><p>Slowly, you got onto the bed, never leaving his eyes, and smiled mischievously. </p><p>"It's <em>way</em> too hot in here" you kept on teasing before you grabbed the blanket and slid underneath. Groaning at the pleasure of the fresh, cold blanket on your skin, you shifted to face him. Bokuto was still in the same position, frozen on the bed as he watched you with his mouth agape.</p><p>Your bare chest and half naked body now safely wrapped into the blanket, you closed your eyes. </p><p>"Good Night, Bokuto-san" you whispered, a triumphant smile on your lips. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. On Fire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Some Fluff and Lime :)</p><p>I hope you have fun :3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Bokuto's</b>
  
  <b>POV</b>
</p><p>Bokuto didn't dare to move. Frozen on his spot next to your half naked body, he swallowed, his heart racing. </p><p>He had gotten a really nice look on your oh so perfect tiddies. Fuck, he'd do anything to have another look at you.. Just for a tiny second. But he really shouldn't. </p><p>Groaning inwardly, he forced himself to look away. </p><p><em>Why</em><em>is</em><em>she</em><em>doing</em><em>this</em><em>? </em><em>And</em><em>why</em><em>now</em><em>? </em><br/><em>Does</em><em>she</em><em>want</em><em>me</em><em>to</em><em>do</em><em>something</em><em>?</em> </p><p>Bokuto's golden orbs shifted through the hotel room. </p><p>This day had taken a toll on him and he was exhausted to the point that he could fall asleep on seconds. </p><p>But he didn't dare to. He wasn't sure if he should take the chance you were practically offering him or if he should just get out and take a run until he calmed down again. </p><p>Bokuto's body told him to just lean over and touch you, pulling you close to his chest. While his heart tried to stop thinking about you in this kind of way. </p><p>You had told him many times by now, you were not like the girls he met to have One-Night-Stands with. And you were right. You were special to him and that's what made it even more difficult for him to decide what to do. </p><p>He knew it hurt you whenever he treated you like one of those girls. Teasing and playing you as if you were easy to get. </p><p>Then the best way of showing you that you weren't at all like those girls to him would be to not touch you at all. </p><p>Although his fingertips craved the feeling of your soft skin, his ears wanted to hear you moan, his lips needed to taste you again. It wouldn't feel right, would it? </p><p>The kiss on the bus had just added to the insane craving he felt and he wanted more. But it would be so damn selfish to just give into his needs. </p><p>
  <em>What</em>
  <em> if </em>
  <em>she</em>
  
  <em>is</em>
  <em> just playing </em>
  <em>around</em>
  <em>? A revenge </em>
  <em>for</em>
  <em> all </em>
  <em>the</em>
  <em> times I had </em>
  <em>teased</em>
  <em> her so </em>
  <em>far</em>
  <em>? </em>
</p><p>Getting into a sitting position, Bokuto pulled his legs up and rested his arms on his knees, his head dropping low. Staring at the white blanket he was sitting on, he took several deep breaths before his eyes automatically drifted into your direction again. </p><p>You had kissed back in the bus. You had kissed back when he had been drunk. You had let him come near you although he had been a mess that night. </p><p>All the blushes on your face whenever Bokuto came too close, all the stuttering and fidgeting. Did it mean something? Were you trying to tell him that you would not push him away when he took off his mask completely? </p><p>Thinking about it, you never had before. Even today when he had been crying, you hadn't run away, you had stayed by his side and comforted him. </p><p>A tired smile played on Bokuto's lips as he thought of you, caressing his back and running your fingers through his hair to calm him down. </p><p>What the fuck should he do with you… Never ever had a girl gotten under his skin so deep that it was almost too much to take. </p><p>Watching the blanket, that covered your body, slightly rise and fall with every calm breath you took, Bokuto ran a hand over his face before he finally found the courage to speak up. </p><p>"Why are you doing this, (Y/N)?" he whispered, not expecting an answer. </p><p>It was silent for a while. For so long that Bokuto was now sure that you were asleep and wouldn't answer. </p><p>"You do remember the night when you were drunk, do you?" you answered, equally silent than he had spoken. </p><p>Swallowing hard, Bokuto leaned his head back against the wall. </p><p>"Yeah.." he committed dryly. </p><p>Another silence followed before you shifted and turned to face him. Even in the dark, Bokuto could see your heated cheeks. Just the slightest bit, but he knew he saw it. </p><p>"Why did you freak out when I asked you.. To stop.." you murmured, unsure if this was the right moment to talk about it. </p><p>"'Cause people kept pushing me away when they learned about my other side" he plainly answered, scared to give out too many information. </p><p>"<em>Other</em> or <em>real</em> side?" you now raised your head to meet his eyes. </p><p>Bokuto didn't answer. He didn't know if he should. He trusted you, but the fear to be left was still so present. </p><p>As if you'd know why he didn't answer right away, you wrapped your blanket tighter around your body and slowly sat up to face him, giving him your full attention. </p><p>"Bokuto-san" you whispered, careful not to go too far. "Do you trust me?" </p><p>"Yes" he responded quietly, drew out a long breath and let his head fall down between his arms again. </p><p>
  <em>She</em>
  
  <em>won't</em>
  
  <em>leave</em>
  
  <em>me</em>
  <em>, </em>
  <em>right</em>
  <em>? </em>
  <em>She</em>
  <em> promised..</em>
</p><p>He heard rustling of bedsheets and felt the mattress sink next to him. A warm, tiny hand met his arm and he looked back up, meeting your glistening eyes. </p><p>You looked so perfect to him in this moment. Tired eyes half lidded, your hair a bit messy, the blanket tucked underneath your armpits, showing your naked shoulders and collarbone, he was sure he had never seen something so beautiful. He would never dare to look away. </p><p>You were here for him even now, reading in between his lines, being gentle with him when he needed it. </p><p>Bokuto felt his heart beating faster when he looked at you. </p><p>"Then don't push me away" you said softly, staring into his gorgeous eyes, before you caressed his cheek with your thumb. </p><p>Her touch sending electricity through his body, he leaned into your hand and closed his eyes at the wonderful sensation. </p><p><em>The</em><em> touch of </em><em>this</em><em> girl can make </em><em>me</em><em>forget</em><em>everything</em><em> else..</em> He thought, savoring the moment as best as he could. </p><p>And one heartbeat later the softest lips met his in a gentle kiss. </p><p>There was no word that could describe the feeling that filled Bokuto's whole body in that moment. </p><p>The tension leaving his body completely, he pushed into the kiss and opened his arms, only to wrap them around your tiny frame. </p><p>Holding you against him, you smiled into the kiss before you gently pulled away. </p><p>Bokuto's eyes opened slowly, longingly waiting for another kiss. He could kiss you all day long, every day, forever. </p><p>But instead of dipping in again, you rested your hands on his shoulders and pushed up to swing your leg over his hips, straddling him. The blanket forgotten. </p><p>"Wha-?" Bokuto stared at you, wide eyed, his hands hovering just inches away from the half naked body that was now so close to his own, heated one. </p><p>His mind went crazy when he felt your core pressing against him, only two thin layers of clothing separating you from him. </p><p>The things he wanted to do to you… </p><p>"Bokuto-san…" you purred, shifting on his lap before you kissed him again. This time more eager, loving the fact that he, too, wanted nothing more than to feel and taste you. </p><p>Bokuto groaned into the kiss, his big hands roaming over your bare back by now. </p><p>The way your lips moved against his was so intoxicating, even addicting, that Bokuto found himself to want more and more. </p><p>When you started nibbling on his lower lip, he bucked his hips into you in hunger and opened his lips to allow your tongue to enter. A loud moan escaped him when he felt you started playing with his tongue, crucially slow. </p><p>Getting more and more into it, Bokuto sat up even higher, allowing him more access to your body. Digging his fingers into your hips, he traveled lower towards your ass, squeezing it gently, making you moan in pleasure. </p><p>God, he was lost already. He felt everything. Your warm, soft breasts pressed against his chest, your hot core dangerously close to his hardened dick, your lips and tongue treating him over and over. </p><p>Breathing fast, his lips left yours to kiss down your neck, making you throw your head back. He kept kissing teasingly light, your neck, your collarbone, his hands exploring every inch they could reach, digging into your skin every now and then. </p><p>Bokuto would never get enough of this. He was already addicted, already lost in the desire he had kept shut for months. How could he ever stop now? With your delicious body offering everything to him? </p><p>And Bokuto was a hungry man. Once tasted something he loved, he would never get enough. </p><p>When his hot, wet tongue found your sensitive nipple, you ground your hips against him, making him almost lose it completely. </p><p>"Fuck.." he breathed, his fingertips digging deep into your hips. </p><p>If you'd allow him, he would take you right here, right now and he wouldn't stop until you'd be completely wasted. Maybe now you had the upper hand but when you'd let him fuck you… Hell, he would make a mess out of you.. </p><p>Grinding against his dick, you cupped his face and kissed him roughly, breathing way too fast, wanting nothing more than to feel him everywhere, in every way it was possible to feel him. For how long it was possible. </p><p>He got raw, moaning due to the friction you caused by rubbing against him. The strength in his hands whenever he grabbed you, was so damn hot, you couldn't stop moving. You didn't want to, Bokuto didn't want to. </p><p>This moment belonged to Bokuto and you and neither of you would ever forget about it. </p><p>And he couldn't wait to rip off the boxer you were wearing and push into you as hard and as fast as possible… and hell, you wanted him to.. </p><p>Your desire had already taken over your mind, body and soul. </p><p>That's why you didn't hear it at first. The weird sound of an alarm going off. </p><p>Breaking apart, you stared at each other both of you a mess, lips red and swollen, eyes half lidded. Calming down for a second, you looked around, the sound getting louder and louder by the second. </p><p>Until you finally understood. </p><p>"That's the fire alarm, Bokuto-san!" you squeaked and jumped off of his lap, searching for your clothes. </p><p>"What the-?" he cursed through gritted teeth and stood as well. Both of you getting into clothes, you grabbed your bags and ran outside where the other guests were already gathered. All of them tired to the bones. </p><p>
  <b>(A/N: </b>
  <b>you</b>
  
  <b>don't</b>
  <b> go </b>
  <b>searching</b>
  
  <b>for</b>
  <b> things </b>
  <b>when</b>
  
  <b>the</b>
  
  <b>fire</b>
  <b> alarm </b>
  <b>goes</b>
  <b> off! </b>
  <b>You</b>
  
  <b>get</b>
  
  <b>outside</b>
  
  <b>as</b>
  <b> fast </b>
  <b>as</b>
  
  <b>possible</b>
  <b>! </b>
  <b>But</b>
  <b> I </b>
  <b>needed</b>
  
  <b>them</b>
  
  <b>to</b>
  <b> have </b>
  <b>their</b>
  <b> things </b>
  <b>with</b>
  
  <b>them</b>
  
  <b>xD</b>
  <b>) </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Your</b>
  
  <b>POV</b>
</p><p>From outside both of you could see how big red flames broke through a window on the sixth floor. </p><p>No one was hurt, fortunately! </p><p>A few days later you read in the news that at had been a short of one of the mini bars. </p><p>Standing next to each other, embarrassed, both of you just stood there, not daring to say a word. Wrapping your arms around your body, to keep you warm, you looked everywhere except Bokuto. </p><p>The things that had happened and the things that had almost happened kept playing in your mind like a broken record. And you couldn't help but think if faith was telling you, that the fire had happened for a reason. Maybe you shouldn't have done it… Maybe it was good, that you had been interrupted. </p><p>Instead of finding another Hotel to sleep in, Bokuto and you decided to take the earliest bus home. </p><p>It was 4:30 am when it finally arrived. You had separated seats and you didn't complain about it. You couldn't handle a five to six hours bus ride with him near you right now. And the second the bus drove off, your eyes fell shut and you drifted into a dreamless state. </p><p>Whatever had happened that night between you and Bokuto… None of you dared to talk about it the following days. Because that's what dumbasses do. And you were a dumbass. Hell yes, you were…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Miscommunication</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a 3k Chapter. It's not my best one but I still hope you'll like it.</p><p>This is where the Drama starts, so be prepared :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You are kidding me" Yachi's mouth stood wide open after listening to your story. <br/>Sitting in her office you shook your head dryly and scoffed at yourself.</p><p>"I don't know what's gotten into me, Yachi" you sighed, stretching your tired limbs in front of you.</p><p>It was a Monday morning and you had the day off since the BJ's had no practice today.</p><p>Yachi's cheeks were flushed due to the pretty explicit story you had told her. <br/>"Well.. It's not forbidden to fall in love with your client, (Y/N)-chan" she tried an honest smile but failed.</p><p>"But.. What if this doesn't go out well? I mean.. I can't lose this job.. What if we get together and then break up at some point?" burying your face in your hands, you tried to find any logic in the actions you had taken just two days ago.</p><p>That you had come here to talk to Yachi just showed your friend how troubled you were. <br/>Never had you asked her for advice when it came to love and relationships.</p><p>The blond, tiny woman stood from her chair, got around the desk and did the only thing she thought could help you right now. <br/>Embracing you tightly, she kept stroking your back gently.</p><p>"We've known each other for a long time now, (Y/N). And I've never seen you smile so brightly. I've even seen you in TV at the Black Jackals match and… I need to tell you.. You've never looked at Rin the way you had looked at Bokuto-san. Maybe" she pulled away and looked at you. "You should at least try. I would really love to see you happy"</p><p>Sinking into your friends hug even further, you rested your head against her shoulder and sighed again. <br/>"Happy.." you repeated. "I don't know about that, Yachi.. What if the fire happened for a reason? What if it prevented us from going too far?"</p><p>At your words Yachi pulled away, her forehead wrinkled. <br/>"Since when are you believing in faith and stuff like that?" she asked in disbelief, suppressing a giggle.</p><p>"Since.. Saturday Night?" you just answered, completely confused. Your thoughts were running wild, it gave you headaches.</p><p>Now Yachi started to laugh. She leaned against her desk and crossed her arms.<br/>"I love you, (Y/N). But this is the most stupid thing I've ever heard." she shook her head with a tiny smile on her lips. "Since when do you let faith decide? Oh God, you must be really fallen for Bokuto-san! Although" she tapped her pointer finger against her chin. "I have no idea how that happened in the first place. Thinking of how you reacted when you first met him"</p><p>And as if Yachi had flipped a switch in your head, a smile appeared on your face thinking of how you first had met.</p><p>"He's not a bad guy" you murmured, fidgeting with your fingers. "He's actually quite interesting and it never gets boring. Yes, he's a freaking tease but there's so much to him that I can't even explain."</p><p>Looking at your friend, the blond smirked, she fucking smirked!, at you with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>"What?" you pouted at her reaction, crossing your arms as well.</p><p>"Nothing" Yachi teased, covering her mouth with the back of her hand when a knowing giggle left her. "You just started fancying about him"</p><p>Gasping your mouth formed an 'o'. <br/>"I did <em>not</em>!" you objected vehemently.</p><p>Yachi's eyebrow rose even higher.</p><p>"Fine" you pouted. "Maybe I did. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm absolutely not ready for this! What if.. What if he's just playing? I can't just.. Go around confessing and then he will laugh at me and I will cry and lose my job!"</p><p>Yachi sighed. The usual shy, objective woman showed her true skills right now and it scared you to death. <br/>"You truly are an idiot" she laughed. "who would've thought that I would ever be the more confident one of both of us?"</p><p>Her words met silence, and another pout from you.</p><p>"It's actually nice to see that you too have troubles with things. I can see, you don't want to get hurt. But you know.. With love there comes risks. And you have to decide if a possible relationship is worth the risk of being hurt. You can't get one without the other, you know?"</p><p>Her words made sense. They were scary but she was right. <br/>Nodding slowly, you let the words sink in before you spoke up again.</p><p>"I don't need to decide right now, do I?"</p><p>Yachi smiled and shook her head. "No, you don't" she assured you.</p><p>Standing from your seat, you drew out a long breath. "Alright.. I.. will try"</p><p>"Sounds good" Yachi sent you one of her cute, warm smiles and it instantly made you feel lighter.</p><p>"Thanks, Yachi" you returned the smile before you hugged her.</p><p>Pulling away shortly after, she giggled. "No problem! I would've never thought that I'd be sitting here one day helping you with love problems"</p><p>"Me neither" you sighed dramatically. <br/><br/></p><p>Days passed in which both you and Bokuto didn't say a word about what had happened the night after the game.</p><p>In your head everything was still so confusing and it made you dizzy thinking about it.</p><p>The fact that you held feelings for him wasn't the problem anymore. It was the fact that you had no idea how to proceed from there on. <br/>You had been the one throwing yourself at him that night. You had started teasing him, you had started kissing him. <br/>Indicating that you were completely ready for the consequences that would follow.</p><p>The consequences being that you'd start dating, that you would start open up in the most vulnerable way.</p><p>It was ironic, actually. While you tried to help Bokuto to open up to you, it seemed impossible to you to do it yourself. <br/>Have you ever told him something about you that included your feelings, your personal life, your past?</p><p>Not that Bokuto had told you lots of things before. But you hadn't said one word about yourself. Nothing.</p><p>Sighing you strolled through the city, on your way to pick him up from his physical therapy appointment. Since it was hard to find a parking lot nearby, you decided to just walk over to the doctor's office. You wouldn't be able to describe Bokuto where you had parked the car anyways.</p><p>Since it was already October, the air got colder. <br/>A few weeks ago had been Bokuto's birthday. He had celebrated with a few people. Excluding you. It wasn't like it had bothered you. It had been a week after the incident with drunken Bokuto and both of you had just promised to get closer.</p><p>Also celebrating his birthday with him would've been way too early. In your eyes a birthday was something really personal  and you didn't want to invade his personal life.</p><p>Maybe next time, you thought to yourself, hoping that by this time you wouldn't be unemployed, heartbroken and crushed due to stupid choices you had made.</p><p>When you reached the office, Bokuto just closed the door behind him.</p><p>"Hey Sexy" he grinned when he met your eyes. "You've waited long?"</p><p>Shaking your head, you gave him a tiny smile. "I haven't, Bokuto-san. Are you ready for the next appointment?" you asked politely, already turning to walk back to your car.</p><p>"Always!" Getting into his black bomber jacket, he followed you. <br/>That's how both of you communicated ever since the game. Short, politely, meaningless.</p><p>To be honest with yourself it was almost hurtful for you that he didn't try to talk to you about it. Although on the other hand you were relieved that he didn't.</p><p>If it was up to you, you could wait another six months before asking him what he thought about that night.</p><p>Walking in silence, you got lost in your thoughts, feeling the distance between you and Bokuto. You didn't like this. You didn't like it at all. This wasn't like you two were strangers. It was like you had been friends for a long, long time and then had sex while drunk. It was awkward and the tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.</p><p>"(Y/N)-chan" Bokuto suddenly stopped in his tracks, hands in his pockets. His golden eyes darted towards the floor and he seemed uneasy.</p><p>
  <em>(Y/N)-chan… I'll never </em>
  <em>get</em>
  
  <em>used</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>him</em>
  
  <em>saying</em>
  
  <em>my</em>
  <em> name..</em>
</p><p>Stopping as well, you turned to face him. "What's wrong?" you asked worried. Worried that something was wrong with him, but also worried he would now start talking about that night.</p><p>Lazily kicking some stones, he continued looking at his feed when he spoke up. <br/>"That night.. Uhm.." just those two words tinted Bokuto's cheeks in a delicious shade of pink. But you couldn't concentrate on that now.</p><p>
  <em>Oh </em>
  <em>God</em>
  <em>. Oh no. No, </em>
  <em>please</em>
  <em>.</em>
</p><p>Panicking you held your breath, eyes wide open.</p><p>"You know, I-.. I just wanted you to know that, I really liked it, but-"</p><p>"OH MY GOD THIS IS BOKUTO KOTARO!!!" a loud squeak interrupted him, making you jump.</p><p>Three girls around 20 years old came rushing to you and Bokuto, all of them adjusting their tops, combing their hair fastly, pushing up their boobs before they approached you.</p><p>Oblivious to their actions Bokuto raised his head and his expression turned from worried and troubled to happy, sexy and irresistible in seconds.</p><p>"Hey girls" he smirked, running his hand through his messy hair.</p><p>"Oh my god" the blond whisper yelled, her face red, eyes glistening. <br/>"Hey, Bokuto~" the brown haired one sang, posing ridiculously cheap. She had her shoulders back and her boobs pushed up so far, you weren't sure if she wanted Bokuto to disappear in her cleavage.</p><p>He on the other hand didn't seem to be bothered. He smiled and laughed, smirked and teases them, the same way he had treated you ever since you had taken the job.</p><p>"Do you have time tonight, Bokuto-san" the brown haired girl bit her lip, tracing her very long fingernails over his clothed biceps. <br/>"We are in Tokyo for the first time and we have no idea where the best places are to have fun. Would you show us?"</p><p>
  <em>Oh </em>
  <em>God</em>
  <em>, girl. </em>
  <em>Your</em>
  
  <em>mother</em>
  
  <em>would</em>
  
  <em>be</em>
  
  <em>proud</em>
  <em>… </em>
  <em>as</em>
  <em> if he </em>
  <em>would</em>
  <em> meet up </em>
  <em>with</em>
  <em> girls like-</em>
</p><p>"Sure. Meet at the sky tree at nine?" Bokuto smiled at them, earning three loud happy squeaks before they nodded and left, loudly talking about what they should wear tonight.</p><p>He would meet them? He just really set a date with three girls right in front of you? Not that he wasn't a free man, who could do whatever he wanted. You had never said you wanted him to be yours. But still… this hurt like hell.</p><p>Sighing Bokuto turned back to you. <br/>"I'm sorry! Where was I? Oh.. Yes.. Uhm.. I wanted to-"</p><p>You should've just let him finish his sentence. You really should've. But you didn't. You were hurt but you didn't want him to know that. So you did the only thing you were good at, playing it off. Shoving your feelings back inside. <br/>And without thinking twice, you waved your hand and laughed, a fake one, as you responded.</p><p>"It's fine, Bokuto-san! Don't worry about that! It meant nothing. We should just go on as if nothing happened, right?" the 'smile', that was plastered on your face, hurt. It hurt because it was so so hard to keep up with the fassade. But it was the only right thing to do, right?</p><p>Bokuto was about to break your heart, telling you, that he liked it, but-<br/>he didn't want this to ever happen again, <br/>Or<br/>he liked you but not in that way, <br/>Or<br/>that he regret it.</p><p>You didn't want to hear what he wanted to say, it would only hurt even more. And that he had just agreed to a date was the ultimate proof that he really didn't want you this close.</p><p>You expected Bokuto to sigh relieved, you expected him to laugh. But he didn't. <br/>Looking at him, your laugh died off within a second.</p><p>He looked furious. His eyes dark and squinted, his teeth gritted.</p><p>"B-Bokuto-san?"</p><p>"Are you fucking kidding me?" he snapped under his breath before he met your eyes, angry and.. Hurt?</p><p>"W-well.. Don't you want to meet up with those girls?" a desperate laugh escaped your lips. You didn't understand at all why he was so mad all of a sudden. "Weren't you about to-"</p><p>"As always I would've never showed up, you fucking idiot?! How can you-? What the-" searching for words, he ran his hand over his face. <br/>"Alright!" he said after composing himself. "If you want me to meet up with them, I'll do it. Are you happy now?"</p><p>"Wha-?" what the hell was he talking about?</p><p>"I'm canceling the appointment. You don't have to drive me there. See ya tomorrow" he snarled before he walked away, leaving you speechless and confused.</p><p>"W-wait! Bokuto-san!!" you yelled after him but he didn't turn around. <br/><br/></p><p>Sitting in your car for more than an hour by now, you just stared at the steering wheel, trying to process what the hell had just happened.</p><p>He had agreed to meet them, shortly after he had wanted to tell you, that he didn't want both of you to be this close. <br/>Then you told him it was fine and you should forget about it and he had snapped?!</p><p>Wasn't that what he had wanted to hear? Shouldn't he be happy that you had said that? Giving him a free card to do whatever he wanted? You had just made sure that he knew he could meet up with three obviously horny girls who wanted nothing more than to devour him, without hurting you.</p><p>'As always, I would've never showed up!' he had said. Thinking about it, he was right. This hadn't been the first time Bokuto and you had met fans on the street. The first time it had happened, you had called him an asshole when he had told you he never showed up. But when he explained, you understood.</p><p>His fans, well, no, his groupies, didn't accept a 'No'. They would not let him go until he'd agree to meet them. So he told them he would come but he'd never show up. <br/>Nothing had been different to all the other times this had happened. Except that one fact that you had gotten jealous this time and had been scared that he would meet them.</p><p>While Bokuto had been thinking this was normal to you already. And you had hurt him, had you? Telling him, he should forget about it. Was this the reason he had snapped and left? <br/>Because you hadn't let him finish talking and had said, this night meant nothing to you?</p><p>Oh fuck, you were the biggest idiot on earth.</p><p>Nervously searching for your phone, you called his number when you found it. You needed to apologize to him!</p><p>After the tenth signal the mailbox picked up.</p><p>How can someone be such an idiot? Putting words in his mouth, he hadn't even intended to say. But why the 'but' then? Why had he said, He liked it, BUT.</p><p>"My head hurts…" you cursed, rubbing your temples slowly before you again tried to call him.</p><p>He never picked up. At one point he even turned his phone off. Desperately walking through your apartment, you tried to figure out how to meet and tell him that you were sorry.</p><p>'Meet at the sky tree at nine' he had said. Looking at your clock, it was already half past eight. If you'd leave right now, you could possibly make it. You had no choice, had you? <br/>You needed to talk to him before he would leave with those girls.</p><p>Grabbing your bag, you rushed down the stairs, got out of the building and ran towards the subway. It would be faster than with your car.</p><p>Impatiently waiting for the subway to arrive, you stepped from one foot to the other. <br/>What would you even say to him? <br/>'I'm sorry! Tell me what you wanted to say!' <br/>'Please don't leave with the girls..'<br/>'I want you to kiss me' <br/>'I love you'</p><p>Sighing, you shook your still aching head. You couldn't say that. You weren't even sure if you really deeply loved him. You had never said those words to anyone before, except your family. But to a guy?</p><p>Did he want you to say something? Did he want to see you? Would he even listen to you after you had interrupted him so impolitely? After you had hurt him?</p><p>You should've just shut your damn mouth. You should've just let him finish.</p><p>It was five minutes past nine when the subway finally stopped at the station nearest to the sky tree.</p><p>You had no idea where this strength or motivation came from, but you ran the whole way until you arrived in front of the big huge tower. Many people were here, couples, groups of friends, drinking and laughing, elder people taking a walk, people with their dogs. <br/>But the grey-white hair you were searching for was nowhere to be seen.</p><p>What had you expected? It not like you were in a romantic movie where the guy would show up with a bouquet of roses for you, knowing you would come to keep him from meeting the other girl.</p><p>Bokuto wasn't there. They were already gone. Probably on their way to a club, drinking and dancing until they'd be drunk. And Bokuto would take them to a hotel, stripping them out of their clothes while whispering sweet, sweet words into their ears.</p><p>Tears burning in your eyes, you wiped them away with your sleeves, staring at the odd romantic sight the tower provided. The lights so warm and beautiful it made the tears fall freely by now.</p><p>Why did you have to say that… He will have sex with them. All of them tonight. Out of hurt, out of anger. And it was your fault.</p><p>Why would you-</p><p>"(Y/N)?" a voice next to you ripped you out of your thoughts. <br/>Turning to the left, you met a pair of familiar, teal eyes. The brown messy hair swaying with the cold October wind.</p><p>"Sosuke" you sniffed, happy or relieved that someone was here to comfort you.</p><p>Surprised and worried Sosuke took a step closer and wrapped his arms around you.</p><p>"What's wrong? Are you okay?" he asked, stroking your back softly.</p><p>Shaking your head, he pulled you even closer. His scent and his warmth was calming and nice. <br/>"Wanna go grab some drinks and talk about it?" he suggested, his deep voice vibrating through your body.</p><p>"Y-yes, please" you sobbed and digged your fingers into his jacket.</p><p>"Alright, Cutie. Then let's go"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. The Downfall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Alright, Reader-chans, it's getting heavy.</p><p>It's time to make to bubble pop.</p><p>Even more Drama in <br/>3..<br/>2..<br/>1..</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When you woke up the next morning, your head felt like it would explode any second. </p><p><em>That damn wine.</em>. You thought, groaning as you tried to peel yourself out of your blankets. But for some reason, you couldn't. There was something heavy resting on your waist. </p><p>Shocked, you turned, breathing fast. </p><p>"Oh no." you whispered as you took in the sight of a sleeping, half naked Sosuke next to you. Raising the blanket you stared at your completely naked body, horrified. </p><p>
  <em>No, no, no, no, no. No!!! </em>
</p><p>Silently getting out of bed, you wrapped your bathrobe around your body and left your bedroom. </p><p>
  <em>Alright. Calm down. There's nothing you can do about that now. Just.. Take a shower, get some pain killers and then face the mess you've made. </em>
</p><p>Stepping into the shower, you let the hot water run down your aching body. You didn't remember everything that had happened yesterday night. Especially not the sex. Had you even had sex with Sosuke? </p><p>Who were you kidding.. Seeing the lovemarks he had left, the imprints of his fingers in your hips and thighs and the aching feeling in your core, you knew exactly what had happened without needing to remember it. </p><p>Supporting yourself with your hand leaning against the cold tiles, you dropped your head low. </p><p>That wasn't at all what you had wanted to happen. Alcohol didn't excuse the fact that you had done it. You were a grown woman, you couldn't blame it on the alcohol.. </p><p>Nor on Sosuke. He had been really nice and sweet the whole night. Listening to every word you said, asking questions, comforting you, hugging you. And at some point as it seemed you had kissed and left to spend the night at your apartment. </p><p>How deep can someone fall? Out of jealousy, hurt and despair. You weren't used to that kind of feelings at all. </p><p>But when you had been drunk and had thought of Bokuto and the things he might had done in that second, you hadn't cared at all. </p><p>So why not sleep with the first guy who's coming around?.... Pathetic. You were, really. </p><p>Freshly washed you stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around you before you finger combed your hair, and got into the bathrobe again. </p><p>From outside you heard voices. Male voices. Not one. But two. Two very, very familiar voices… </p><p>Terrified, you rushed out of the bathroom and towards the front door, stopping the second you found Sosuke and Bokuto standing in your hallway. </p><p>"Morning Cutie" Sosuke smirked at you, not minding the golden eyes which darted him with nothing but hatred. </p><p>"B-Bokuto-san" you stuttered, feeling heat rushing to your face. </p><p>"You really are fucking kidding me, right?" Bokuto didn't look at you. He kept staring at Sosuke who had opened the door in only a pair of boxers. His voice filled with venom as he spat the words. </p><p>"Wha-, I.. Bokuto-san.. I-, can we talk?" you pleaded him, wishing he would just look at you. But he didn't seem to be able to. </p><p>"I see you guys have something to talk about. I'll grab my things and leave" Sosuke smirked and vanished in your bedroom. </p><p>There was silence between you and Bokuto. You didn't dare to say something. You were way too nervous and you hated yourself and you were extremely overwhelmed with the situation you were in right now. </p><p>Not a minute later, Sosuke came back, fully clothed. He leaned in to press a kiss on your cheek before he smirked at Bokuto and left without another word. </p><p>
  <em>Why is he doing that??? Does he think this will help me in any kind of way? </em>
</p><p>The door fell close and even when the echoing of the door stopped, none of you said a word. </p><p>Looking at Bokuto's hurt face, you wanted nothing more than to touch him. To tell him that this didn't mean something. To swear that even if he hated you, you hated yourself even more. </p><p>Boldly taking a step towards him, he backed away. </p><p>"I know I would regret it" he murmured, burying his hands in his pockets. </p><p>"What do you mean.." you asked, afraid of his answer. </p><p>"I should've never trusted you! I should've never let you in! People are just using me. They just need me for their crappy shit and then they will just throw me away!" </p><p>His words hurt you deeply. He regretted that he had trusted you. He again compared you with all the other people who had hurt him before. All those people who had treated him like shit. </p><p>It hurt and it made you extremely mad. You weren't the only one who'd done something wrong. </p><p>"Why do you even care that I slept with Sosuke?" you asked, anger in your voice by now. </p><p>Instead of answering, Bokuto threw his hands in the air and scoffed. "Are you really that fucking stupid, idiot?" </p><p>"Stop calling me idiot" you snapped back. </p><p>"You can't judge me for doing that when you did the exact same thing!!" </p><p>"Oooh!! So that's how it works, huh? I do something bad and that gives you the free ticket to ride on shitfaces cock?" he encountered, pointing towards the door where Sosuke had just left. The choice of his words hit you hard. </p><p>"Hell yes, it does!" you yelled back. "You come here after telling me that you didn't even want me close again. After you slept with not one, not two, but three women, and now you're judging ME, being mad at ME for doing that?" you were furious by now. The anger and hurt making you blind to everything else around you. It was like a red curtain had fallen over you, capturing you in the rage. </p><p>Bokuto laughed sarcastically and scoffed again. </p><p>"Funny, Sexy. I don't even remember telling you that! Isn't it that you just heard what you wanted to hear from me?" he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "I NEVER said I don't want you near me. That's what YOU told me, when you said, that this night meant nothing to YOU!" </p><p>You kept silent at his words, realizing that he was right. You had pushed him away again. </p><p>After a few moments, you dared to speak up again. </p><p>"Bokuto-san.. I-" you tried in a quiet voice. </p><p>"No. No, shut the hell up, will ya? I don't want to hear any lame excuses or explanations." he took a step forward. His 1,90m frame leaning over you like a big, scary shadow. The hurt in his eyes so present, it broke your heart. Now you wished, he wouldn't look at you at all.. This felt even worse than before. </p><p>"YOU kissed me. You knew I liked you. And then you kissed me, you started making out with me. You made me lose my fucking mind, making me horny as fuck and then you tell me, it meant nothing. Can you even look at yourself in the mirror without hating yourself?"</p><p>Swallowing, you felt tears in the corners of your eyes. </p><p>Bokuto kept silent for a few minutes, the only thing you could hear was his fast breathing before he turned to leave. </p><p>"Wait!" you begged, grabbing his arm, trying to make him stop. </p><p>"Just so you know, (L/N), even if it's none of your business. I didn't meet those stupid girls. I went out with Atsumu and Hinata since I didn't know what else to do…" he whispered the last part before he opened to door and stepped outside. </p><p>
  <em>What</em>
  <em>? </em>
</p><p>"Oh and one more thing." Bokuto turned around once more, his eyes so dark and intimidating that you shivered in fear. <br/>"Don't you dare come back tomorrow" </p><p>And with that he slammed the door shut behind him, making you stand there, ashamed, horrified, shocked and broken. </p><p>It took you a few seconds before you opened the door and ran after him. </p><p>"Bokuto-san, please!" you yelled, tears falling. </p><p>"Please, wait! I'm sorry, Bokuto-san! I'm sorry!!" over and over your screamed his name. He never responded. And when you exited the building, eyes red, tears violently falling, you kept on yelling his name, asking for forgiveness, begging him to wait, to talk to you, to listen to you. </p><p>You didn't care about the people looking at you. You didn't care about all of them. All you cared about was Bokuto, who kept walking as if he wouldn't hear any desperate word you said. </p><p>You whished he would just give you a chance to explain. You wished he would just stop walking. You wished you could unsay the words you had said, undo the things you'd done. </p><p>You wished you could see his face one more time. </p><p>But Bokuto never turned back again. </p><p> </p><p>~~~.                                                                .~~~</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>The Downfall of Tokyo's Most Famous Manager </em>
  </strong>
  <br/>
  <em>-Former Manager embarrasses herself on open road-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>24 year old (L/N) (Y/N) is normally known as the best female manager Tokyo's sports elite has to offer. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The young woman is famous for her wholehearted, hardworking morals, her deep understanding in any wants and needs clients have, and in caring way above average. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>(L/N)'s last client, Matsuoka Rin, Japan's best freestyle swimmer, always praised her as his angel of fortune, telling the press that every sportsman could be happy to have her as Manager and even friend. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>After Matsuoka's retirement the world was shocked to hear that (L/N) decided to work as V-League 1 Outside Hitter Bokuto Kotaro's <span class="u">personal </span><span class="u">assistant</span>. The 'bad ass' volleyball player who'd already hired eleven assistants, who'd all quit because of his difficult manors, before working out a contract with (L/N). </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Matsuoka's retirement and her termination resulting from Matsuoka's end of career, truly had taking a toll on the young ladies profession. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>For over eight months it was silent around the former Manager. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Until yesterday the impossible took place. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>People caught on camera how said Lady ran out of her apartment, dressed in only a bathrobe, crying her heart out and screaming her clients name, begging him for forgiveness. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Witnesses told us that (L/N) had brought home the young man, Yamazaki Sosuke, the night before, who had left just minutes before a raging Bokuto Kotaro had left the building, followed by no other than (L/N) (Y/N) herself. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>According to rumors, (L/N) and her former client Matsuoka had been in a romantic relationship as well, which caused the freestyle National Champion to quit. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Are the things we believed of (L/N) are true? Is she now showing her true side? Is the young woman actually interested in her clients or is it the fame that she was interested in? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Insider told us that (L/N) is now unemployed, her reputation crushed. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Will (L/N) ever get another chance to be hired by a client? Or will she need a change in vocational direction? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>One thing should be sure. Sportsman need professional managers. They don't need fame addicted groupies. </em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Regret</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Mention of Drug Use</p><p> </p><p>Also I have this HeadCanon that Bokuto is using hair dye, for some reason :D I Imagine him being a natural black haired guy<br/>who tried something different by 'frosting his tips'. I know his natural hair color is this grey-white mix, since he had it since he was a kid. <br/>But I dont know, black haired Bokuto is also really attractive in my head :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Nine</b>
  
  <b>months</b>
  
  <b>later</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Looking out of your childhood bedroom window, you watched two kids from the neighborhood play volleyball together. </p><p>One of them was tall with dark hair, the other one was quite small with reddish brown hair. </p><p>They seemed to fight with each other, the taller one scolding his friend about something. </p><p>They reminded you of Shoyo and Kageyama. They reminded you of Tokyo. They reminded you of Bokuto. </p><p>That article that had popped up in the press nine months ago had crushed you. And while Yachi, Rin and even Yamiji had begged you to stay, you had left Tokyo within a week, going back home. </p><p>Home.. The place where you had grown up. The place where people hadn't believed in your dreams of becoming a successful business woman. The place where you had made good and bad memories. The place you never wanted to see ever again. </p><p>But here you were. In your mid twenties, sleeping in your old, tiny bed, eating with your parents every evening, talking about irrelevant things, working at the tiny local store that Keishin's family was running for decades now. </p><p>Well.. At first you had thought of it like that. But as time had passed by you felt that Sendai was really nice. It was silent, warm and beautiful. All of the things you had forgotten about because you had just thought about moving to Tokyo six years ago. </p><p>Here was your old school. Karasuno High, where you had met Keishin, Daichi, Shimizu and Sugawara. </p><p>
  <b>(A/N: I made </b>
  <b>Keishin</b>
  
  <b>the</b>
  <b> same age </b>
  <b>as</b>
  
  <b>the</b>
  
  <b>third</b>
  
  <b>years</b>
  
  <b>since</b>
  <b> I </b>
  <b>really</b>
  
  <b>wanted</b>
  
  <b>him</b>
  
  <b>to</b>
  <b> play a part. Even if </b>
  <b>it's</b>
  <b> just a </b>
  <b>tiny</b>
  <b> one) </b>
</p><p>You had met them a few times by now. All of them had been really excited to hear stories about the big, big city you had lived and worked in for years. </p><p>They were kind and sweet. They were there for you when you had another breakdown. </p><p>They didn't ask questions what exactly had happened. And you were thankful for it. They just took you as you were and comforted you when again the disappointment in yourself and the hate broke through. </p><p>Your phone buzzing brought you back to reality. Pushing back from the window sill, you searched for your phone, picking up once you found it. </p><p>"Hey, (Y/N)!" Sugawara laughed into the phone happily. "Keishin, Daichi and I wanna meet up at the Sportsbar tonight! You wanna join us? We would <em>really</em> love to spend time with you!" he asked, knowing you couldn't say 'no' to the sweet guy. </p><p>"You know, I can't decline when you're asking me like that" you laughed back, feeling immediately better and lighter hearing his voice. </p><p>"Perfect!! Meet you there in ten!" he cheered and hung up without another word. </p><p>They'd become your best friends in the last couple of months and you cherished every second with them. </p><p>You missed Tokyo, you missed Bokuto and Yachi and Rin. But you weren't sure if you would ever want to go back. </p><p>Reaching the sportsbar, Suga already waved at you from the back of the bar where they had made themselves comfortable. Walking towards them, you ordered a drink on your way and settled down next to Keishin. </p><p>"Where's Daichi?" you asked, searching for the tall black haired guy. </p><p>"He's trying to convince Shimizu to come over as well. But I'm not sure if he'll be lucky" Suga chuckled behind his hand, stretching lazily in his seat. </p><p>"She met a guy" Keishin answered your unspoken question with an uplift of his lips. </p><p>"Oh?" you smiled happily. Shimizu was a really beautiful girl, admired by many. But she had big problems in showing feelings or communicating with others. Although she seemed like a confident girl, she wasn't at all. And trusting people was really hard for her. So you were really happy to hear that she had found someone she could trust. </p><p>"What's his name? And why do I just get to know about it now?" you laughed, punching Keishin's shoulder gently. </p><p>The blond rubbed the aching spot and smirked at you. </p><p>"She didn't tell any of us. But she was dense enough to kiss the guy in front of my store. You were already gone by then, before you ask" </p><p>"They kissed? Aaah! I'm so happy for her!" you giggled. "Who's he?" </p><p>Suga shrugged his shoulders. "He was a second year when we graduated. You remember the bald guy?" </p><p>"Tanaka Ryunosuke? No way! You're kidding me?!" your eyes grew wide at the thought of the kind hearted but delinquent looking guy. </p><p>"What kind of fairytale is that?" you sighed dreamily, staring into nowhere. </p><p>"Pf, what do you mean?" Suga asked, laughing at your teenage girl behavior. </p><p>"I talked to him once. And back then he told me he had fallen for Shimizu but didn't dare to talk to her" you explained to the guys, who actually seemed interested in what you were saying. </p><p>The people in Sendai were totally different from the people in Tokyo. Not that they weren't nice but most of them had no time to talk about stuff like this. Tokyo was a fast city. Time was money and money was important in Tokyo. </p><p>It was nice to hold such normal, uncomplicated conversations. </p><p>The door of the bar opened and Daichi entered, as Suga had already predicted, without Shimizu. </p><p>Slightly pouting, he made his way to your table and set next to Suga. </p><p>"Hey (Y/N). So, she's meeting that Tanaka guy again today. But she promised me to visit tomorrow, with him. I wanna know everything about that delinquent!" </p><p>Daddy Daichi in the flesh. Once he'd lock someone into his heart, he was the most protective friend you had ever met. </p><p>Giggling at his sweet behavior, you smiled at him. </p><p>"Tanaka is not a delinquent. He just looks like one! Believe me!" you swore to him and he nodded, only half convinced. </p><p>A few hours went by and the game that had been running on the television was already over. Not that you had watched it, but the news that followed caught your attention. They showed the Tokyo sports news you always used to watch.. Back.. Then.. </p><p>Just for a tiny second you looked at the screen before you decided to ignore it. But then you heard a name, you couldn't at all ignore. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"V-League 1 Player Bokuto Kotaro got into a fight after last night's game in the Black Jackals stadium. After losing the game due to massive mistakes from the famous Outside Hitter, he attacked a fan who had insulted him during the whole game, calling the volleyball player bad names, we do not want to repeat here.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The thirty-two year old fan got away with a broken nose, bruised rips and countless grazes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bokuto is blocked for the rest of the season and is forced to pay a penalty of 15.000.000yen. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>We talked to Yamiji Takeyuki at the press conference after the game."</em>
</p><p>The screen switched to the press conference where Yamiji was sitting in the front, cameras flashing wildly, while a black haired guy sat next to him, bruised lip, wounds on his grey eyebrow, face darting down. </p><p>At first you didn't notice who the guy was but then realization kicked in. </p><p>Gasping you held your hand against your lips, shocked. </p><p>Suga, Keishin and Daichi looked at you worried, but you had no eyes for them. You didn't even hear what Yamiji was saying. You just saw Bokuto, head low, embarrassed, scared and angry. He looked so bad. He wore dark circles, his hair was a mess and he seemed to have lost some weight. </p><p>Seeing him like this felt like somebody was crushing your bones. It hurt. It hurt so bad. This was your fault, wasn't it? </p><p>Standing up, absent-mindetly, you walked towards the television, your eyes never leaving the horrible sight in front of you. </p><p>You felt tears forming in your eyes. You couldn't stand seeing him like this. You never wanted to see him suffer. If you'd only just shut your damn mouth that day… </p><p>"(Y/N)" Suga said softly, approaching you from behind, before his hands rested on your shoulders. </p><p>"You know this isn't your fault, do you?" </p><p>Turning around you faced your friend, tears already falling. </p><p>"Of course it is" you choked on your sobs. "I did this to him. I hurt him so bad." breaking into heavy sobs, Suga didn't hesitate before he wrapped you into his arms and pulled you close, letting your cry against his chest. </p><p>"The choices he made are not your fault." he whispered, trying to calm you down. But it didn't help. </p><p>This had been your first time seeing Bokuto again and you almost hadn't recognized him. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"This hadn't been the first time that Bokuto Kotaro had allowed himself to go over top. In the last few months we already reported about the Outside Hitter driving drunk, causing troubles at bars or clubs. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Thanks to his excellent Manager Yamiji and the support of his club 'MSBY Black Jackals' the professional volleyball player hasn't been terminated by now. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But for how long is the Club able to keep him without causing an image damage to themselves? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bokuto Kotaro should call himself lucky that he hadn't been arrested by now. (...)"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Bokuto's</b>
  
  <b>POV</b>
</p><p>Use of 'drugs', fights, spending nights in the drying-out cell. That's how Bokuto's weekends looked like for a longer time now. He was lucky that the press didn't get to know everything that had happened. </p><p>Damn, he had slept with so many different girls, he had lost count, hoping it would make him forget about you. </p><p>Everything in the past few months felt like a blur to him. Ever since he had told you to fuck off, he had lost the ground underneath his feet. </p><p>Everything around him flew by so fast, the world was spinning so incredibly quick. The overly use of alcohol and light drugs helped him to stop the spinning. </p><p>It wasn't like he was smoking pot or sniffed cocaine or shit like that. But he found that painkillers and booze were a nice mix when he felt like shit again. </p><p>Ever since you had left, everything came crashing down on him. </p><p>His parental home. The abuse. The hell he had gone through as a kid. All the people who had pushed him away. All the people who had left him for being himself. All the people who had told him he would never make his dream come true. </p><p>The worst thing about those moths were that he started missing Keiji even more. He felt so alone and lost, that he couldn't stop thinking about him. </p><p>Keiji. His best friend who had left him out of nowhere. He had left him here in this damned world. He had left him alone, expecting of him to handle everything by himself. </p><p>After the match he visited Akaashi's grave, breaking down on his knees, begging him to come back, begging Keiji to speak to him. He couldn't stand that he was always met with silence. The silence was unbearable and it hurt so damn much. </p><p>Bokuto missed his best friend. He missed everything about him. His smile, his calm voice, his curly black hair. He missed having him by his side, being the rational one, the intelligent one. He missed talking to him about random things, debating over volleyball facts. He missed having him near. </p><p>Akaashi would tell him what to do, he would help him out of this misery. The misery he had put himself into by believing you were one to trust. </p><p>Never before in his life had Bokuto felt so betrayed. </p><p>It wasn't like you had ever told him that you wanted him near. </p><p>But he just couldn't forget the words you had said to him just before you had kissed him. </p><p>'Do you trust me? Then don't push me away' - a sentence with more than one meaning. You knew he remembered everything about his drunken night. So you knew that he liked you. Even if you hadn't believed him by then, approaching you like this was as if you'd taken him serious. Knowing that it wasn't sensitive and kind to play with someone's feelings, you would've only kissed him when you'd believed him, right? You would've only kissed him when you felt the same. Right?... </p><p>Then you asked him if he trusted you. And yes, he had trusted you. Bokuto had let himself fall into your kisses, believing that this was your answer to his drunken confession. </p><p>After you'd gotten interrupted, you had seemed extremely uneasy, so he didn't approach you, thinking you'd need some time. </p><p>And when days passed in which you didn't say a thing, he already started to lose hope that it had meant something to you. </p><p>But he didn't want to give up, encouraging himself to talk to you about it while he tried to be hyper careful, since he didn't want to make you feel pushed. </p><p>It was hard for him but he wanted to be brave. He wasn't a man of big words. He could convince women to sleep with him, he was good at teasing, he was good at body language and shit. But telling someone he wanted to date them, telling them he liked the kisses and touches and that he really wanted more of them, just of them, nobody else, that was almost impossible for him to do. </p><p>Nobody, except the Akaashi family, had taught him at young age how to show love and appreciation and affection. </p><p>He wasn't good at it. He was good at smiling, but he was not good at explaining why he was smiling. </p><p>But for you… God, for you he tried his best to put into words how he felt about you. Bokuto had even practiced since he had been so nervous and had told his physical therapist what he had planned to tell you. </p><p>Before those girls had interrupted him, this had been the words, he had prepared to say to you. </p><p>"I really liked it, but I don't want you to feel forced.. You seemed so uneasy after that night and I just wanted to tell you that we can take it… slow. W-We don't need to rush, you know? I do… Really, really like you.. And I loved the time we spent together. And if you'd except.. my uhm.. feelings for you, I-I'd love to be by your side from now on.. "</p><p>Amutsu and Hinata kept telling him that this was a misunderstanding. That it sounded bad to the other person when the sentence started with 'I liked it, but-'. You must've taken it the wrong way, thinking he would tell you, he didn't like you that way. </p><p>That everything had been a misunderstanding. Thinking about it, his hope started to grow again. Maybe it really had just been a misunderstanding. </p><p>They tried to convince him that they were right. Trying to encourage him to go after you. And Bokuto had wanted to. The whole night he was debating whether or not he should just ring your door bell in the middle of the night. </p><p>But he had been scared and only dared to make his way to your apartment the morning after.</p><p>Bokuto wanted to apologize to you, he wanted to hug you, to tell you whatever his mouth would allow him to say. He was sick of playing. He was sick of pretending. He wanted to show you his real self, telling you how he felt, risking that you might again hurt him. Bokuto wanted to ask you what you meant by 'it meant nothing', if you'd been hurt, if you'd maybe misunderstood. It took every single piece of courage he could work up to go over to your apartment and knock. He had been nervous but also excited. </p><p>He really hoped you would believe him and that he could get things straight. </p><p>Until your door had been opened to him by a half naked man. His face had went pale and his heart had hurt so bad. </p><p>That bastard smirked at him and the moment you had appeared in the bathrobe, he had been crushed. </p><p>He didn't even remember what happened after that. Everything was blurry, everything was so damn fucked up. He heard himself screaming, he heard you screaming. He felt himself running once he couldn't hear your voice anymore. And he didn't stop running until he reached his house only to smash everything that came near his hands. </p><p>His house a mess, his heart a mess, his hands bleeding, he thought he would go insane. </p><p>Seeing you with another guy had proofen to him that you had never wanted to be with him in the first place. You had just played with him. You had just used him. </p><p>And he regretted that he had opened up to you. He regretted to have fallen for you. He regretted that he had met you. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. A Mother's Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had taken Sugawara more than one hour to finally calm you down. After you had broken into tears at the bar, he had brought you home. Now sitting on your bed, he held you close, rubbing your back comfortingly.</p><p>"You know... You could talk to him" the grey haired male suggested carefully.</p><p>You scoffed softly, shaking your head. "I don't think he would ever want to talk to me again. You should've seen his face, Suga.."</p><p>"Hm" Suga murmured, shifting on your bed. "Can I tell you a secret?"</p><p>Lifting your head to meet his face, you nodded fastly. "Sure!"</p><p>Hesitating for a second, Suga bit his lip nervously.</p><p>"For years now I'm in love with a certain person. And out of fear that I could get rejected and hurt, I never told the person about my feelings"</p><p>Surprised your eyes widened. Suga never talked about love. Whenever people asked him when he would finally settle down and marry, he would just wave it off and laugh.</p><p>"Who is it? Shimizu?" you asked, unable to hide your intense curiosity.</p><p>Suga chuckled silently and shook his head. "It's not a girl" he answered embarrassed, your mouth forming an 'o' at his words.</p><p>"It's Daichi" you aspirated, finally putting the pieces together you had noticed within the last few months.</p><p>"Yeah..." he sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "But that's not the point. What I wanted to say is, that.. Although I'm scared, I can't take it anymore that he has no clue, you know? I will tell him, tomorrow actually, when we'll meet up alone." he blushed furiously, thinking of finally confessing to Daichi.</p><p>"Anyways, my point is.. Tell him what you want to say. He's mad anyways. The only thing that could happen when you're being truthful and apologize to him, is that he'll keep being mad."</p><p>His words were true but you weren't convinced. That Bokuto acted like this meant, he was hurt and broken. And you weren't sure if you were ready to face it again. Facing your mistakes and the damage you had caused. You were scared to apologize, scared he'd reject you. Why should he forgive you? What if he'd only push you away? He had every reason to..</p><p>Suga's hand found yours, softly squeezing them. His brown eyes looked at you sympathetically, his brows furrowed.</p><p>"I know what you're thinking, (Y/N), but think of it like this: what if you're words can change something? What if he'll forgive you? Aren't you tired of all the 'what if's' and the 'if only I had never' this and that? Don't you wanna know for sure? Don't you wanna try?"</p><p>Suga's words weren't supposed to only motivate you. It was a motivation for himself. Encouraging himself to confess, to at least try, so he could never say, he had never tried.</p><p>Sighing deeply, you dropped forward, leaning against his chest.</p><p>"I don't know if I can do that, Suga" you whispered.</p><p>Your friends hand came resting on your head. "I know. I don't know if I can do it either. But I'll try. I don't want to waste anymore time dreaming of how things <em>could</em> be! What he <em>might</em> say, what he <em>might</em> do. If he <em>might</em> like me back.. I just can't.."</p><p>Rubbing your face against his chest, you wrapped your arms around him to pull him closer.</p><p>"(Y/N)" his voice vibrated through your body, "You don't have to decide right now if you want to talk to him again, okay? But please, promise me, you'll think about it!"</p><p>"I promise" you murmured, feeling really sleepy and tired against Suga's warmth and gentle grip.</p><p>He chuckled lightly before he rested his head on yours. "Okay" you couldn't see, but Suga was smiling. He believed that you belonged to that somehow idiotic looking owl guy from Tokyo.</p><p>He had seen a few games and he found he was a handsome man, and for his own, stupid, hopelessly romantic reasons he just believed that you should not let him go.<br/><br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Bokuto's</b>
  
  <b>POV</b>
  <b></b>
</p><p>Bokuto had fallen asleep on the couch. In his drunken state he hadn't managed to get up the stairs to his bedroom.</p><p>He woke up to his head pounding as if someone was slamming it against the wall over and over again. Groaning he sat up, stretched until his back cracked a few times and rubbed his tired eyes.</p><p>The world was still turning around him. Maybe he had only gotten three hours of sleep that night.</p><p>After visiting Akaashi's grave he'd gotten extremely wasted.</p><p>It was most likely that he'd spend the whole remaining day in bed.</p><p>Leaning against the backrest, he closed his eyes again, not ready to deal with the World yet.</p><p>Bokuto wasn't just blocked for the rest of the season, he was also suspended from any practice for the next four months.</p><p>The head had suggested he should take some time off, go on vacation, taking care of himself, visit his family, whatever would help him out of his current state. They told him they would pay for a psychotherapist, wanting nothing more than having their lively Outside Hitter back.</p><p>Running his hand over his face, he hissed when he brushed against the bruises on his face.</p><p>Bokuto couldn't even explain how it had gotten so far. He remembered fucking up in the game and hearing this bastards voice through the crowd.</p><p>'Son of a bitch'<br/>'You don't belong here'<br/>'You're an incapable piece of shit, Bokuto!'<br/>'Your Mama must be the cheapest slut in Tokyo'<br/>'If you can't even get one fucking point, piss off and let the professionals play'</p><p>He had been ranting the whole damn game. Hinata and Atsumu had told him to not listen to him. But every word that had left this fuckers mouth had fed his anger. Until after the game where he still hadn't stopped and everything had went black.</p><p>Bokuto remembered how Atsumu, Hinata, Sakusa and Yamiji had tried to get him off of the guy. He remembered getting hit three, four, five times as well.</p><p>The next thing he remembered was him sitting next to Yamiji at the press conference. Cameras flashing, people screaming. Everything had been so loud.. It had been unbearable to sit there.</p><p>"Honey?" a soft voice stopped his thoughts and he squinted his eyes, sitting straight again. A warm, tiny hand came resting on his own.</p><p>"You've been drinking again, haven't you?" the woman asked, her long, curly hair falling down her slim shoulders.</p><p>A pair of blueish green eyes watched him worried, her hand feeling his forehead.</p><p>"Atsumu called me yesterday night, asking me to come over again today. Your friends are also worried about you, Kotaro" Mrs. Yui Akaashi brushed the back of her hand against Bokuto's cheek as she settled down next to him on the couch.</p><p>"Mom.." Bokuto murmured, the headache so bad, it hurt to speak. He felt ashamed that she saw him like this. If there was one person on earth, who's opinion of him mattered to him, it was his mother's.</p><p>"I'm sorry... I- never wanted you to see me like this"</p><p>Yui Akaashi smiled faintly with a shake of her head. "Honey... It's fine. It's fine!" she swallowed a sob, "Just... would you finally tell me why you are doing all of this? Let me help you" she commanded softly, taking his hands into her own.</p><p>"I'm your mother, let me be there for you. I know You haven't been acting like this for no reason."</p><p>Bokuto closed his eyes, his breathing heavy, as he looked away, not daring to look at her. He didn't deserve her love right now. He'd been acting like an asshole for such a long time now. But she was always there for him.</p><p>He opened his mouth to answer, but closed it again. What should he even tell her? That after you had betrayed him he had fallen into a whole, deep and cold. That he missed Keiji more than ever, that he couldn't bare the pain in his heart when he was sober.</p><p>"It's the girl, right?" Yui asked as if she could read his mind.</p><p>Opening his eyes again to look at her, he nodded lightly. To his surprise a warm smile appeared on her face.</p><p>"And you miss Keiji" she added, squeezing his hands gently.</p><p>"I miss him every day" Bokuto croaked, feeling the sadness washing over him again.</p><p>Mrs. Akaashi gave him a tired smile before she pulled him close, hugging him tightly. Bokuto wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck.</p><p>"We miss him too, Honey" Yui whispered, pressing down the tears that formed in her eyes.</p><p>She loved Bokuto so much. She'd do anything for him. For as long as she could remember, Bokuto had been like a son to her. She remembered his bright smiling face, his loud laugh, his energy when telling her about his favorite thing to do.</p><p>Volleyball.</p><p>Yui had been so happy to see how Bokuto and Akaashi had grown closer with each day passing.</p><p>Since she and her husband couldn't do anything about his abusive mother, she tried to keep him close to her and further away from his mother as best as she could.</p><p>Once Bokuto had attended Fukurodani Gakuen, living in their dorm rooms, his real mother had moved away without telling her son where she was and why she had left.</p><p>Yui had tried to find her, and she had found her. When the door to the shabby apartment had opened, Yui had slapped her in the face as hard as she could. She yelled at the woman, scolding her for abondoning her own son, for abusing him, for not caring for the sweet, kind teenager he had become.</p><p>"You should be ashamed of yourself! Kotaro is the sweetest boy I've ever seen and you dared to do all of this to him!!" she screamed, the woman in front of her blinking her tears away.</p><p>"I NEVER WANTED HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE!" the younger woman yelled back. "I NEVER wanted children" she started sobbing, breaking down to her knees.</p><p>"You are missing the opportunity to actually build a relationship with your son." Yui looked at the woman on her knees in disgust though sadness. Bokuto's mother sat their like a beaten dog, her hair greasy, her clothes ripped. Her husband must've left her.. She felt pity for the woman, while she also hated her so damn much.</p><p>"Do me a favor. If you don't try to contact him within the next few months, don't ever come back. Don't ever contact him. Let him be happy. And I'll promise you, I'll take care of him"<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Bokuto's mother had never called or showed up. Nothing.</p><p>Yui decided to not tell Bokuto about her meeting with his mother. She knew, he loved her and that he was hurt, that she had left him. But being the bright smiling boy he was, she knew he was grateful for the people he had around. But he still missed being part of a family..</p><p>So Hibiki and Yui decided to surprise Bokuto to his graduation.</p><p>Bokuto already was a part of the Akaashi family. But they wanted him to become an official member.</p><p>18 year old Bokuto had broken into heavy sobs, pulling his best friend into a bone crushing hug, when the younger boy had asked if he wanted to get adopted by his parents.</p><p>This had been one of the rare moments where Yui had ever seen her boy Keiji cry. The tears of happiness falling down his bright smiling face as his best friend cried and sobbed and sniffed on his shoulder.</p><p>Seeing those two so incredibly happy, Hibiki and her knew immediately that they had made the right decision. And from this moment on, Bokuto was officially an Akaashi, though he kept his last name, not wanting to hurt his real mother by taking a new name, if he'd ever see her again.</p><p>He wanted to remember where he came from. And he wanted to never forget, that he now had a family he hadn't born into, but was treated like he had. And he couldn't be more thankful for that.</p><p>"Honey" Yui softly spoke up after a long silence where both of them just embraced each other.</p><p>Pulling away, she gave Bokuto another warm smile.</p><p>"The girl... Do you think you did the right thing by sending her away? Do you regret sending her away?" she asked, watching him closely.</p><p>Bokuto took a deep breath. Maybe he could fool the people around him. He could fool himself. But he could never fool his mother.</p><p>"I.. Regret that I trusted her.. But I.. I really miss her" he confessed, his face wrinkled in pain and confusion.</p><p>"You fell in love with her, did you?"</p><p>"Yes.." he whispered. It hurt to admit after telling himself for nine months straight, that he just hated you.</p><p>"If you'd ever have the opportunity to talk to her again, would you hear her out?" Yui questioned, asking herself how much he'd open up to her.</p><p>Bokuto scoffed weakly. "Why should I.. She.. She betrayed me" his heart clenched at the memory of a guy standing in her apartment.</p><p>"Didn't you tell me that she apologized? That she tried to explain?" she pushed further, noticing him shifting uncomfortably.</p><p>"Yes, she did! But- that's not the point.. I trusted her and she just used me" Bokuto said angrily.</p><p>"Are you sure about that? Are you sure you made a hundred percent clear that you had feelings for her?"</p><p>Bokuto kept silent for a long time. Had he made it clear enough? After all the teasing, were words of a drunken guy believable? Were her actions after the match maybe her silent way of showing her feelings?</p><p>His head started pounding even worse and he groaned in despair.</p><p>"Yes! I-, I don't know, did I?"</p><p>Mrs. Akaashi shrugged her shoulders and stood from the couch.</p><p>"Maybe you should take your time off to think about what you want, honey. I'm sure, you're not the only one who's hurt right now"</p><p>Bokuto raised an eyebrow and followed her steps with his eyes. She filled a glass with water and grabbed painkillers to hand them over to him.</p><p>Swallowing the fresh water and the pills, he thanked her and put the glass down the table.</p><p>"How.. Can you be so sure?" he finally asked, watching as she got into her shoes again.</p><p>"If you didn't mean anything to her, she would've never left the city." Yui came back to him once more and kissed his cheek.</p><p>"I love you, Kotaro. But promise me, you'll think about if you'd ever let her explain herself, if you'd meet again" before she left his house, she turned around once more.</p><p>"Oh and, no more alcohol for you, young man. If I'll catch you drinking again, I promise, you will regret it" she winked, her face half serious, half smiling before she waved him goodbye and left.<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Weeks later Bokuto called his mother. What she had said, made actually sense. Why would you leave the city when you had nothing to run from? He had talked to Yachi during those weeks. He had talked to Yamiji, Hinata and Atsumu.</p><p>For nine months he had avoided this topic. People had stopped asking him about you when they realized it made him raging. After the talk with his mother this red curtain of anger seemed to vanish.</p><p>Whoever he had talked to, he had gotten the same answer.</p><p>"I don't know... Maybe you should talk to her. This way you will either find a new way or closure"</p><p>The last few weeks he had concentrated on himself. He had slept a lot. He had thought about you a lot. His mother's words never leaving his mind.</p><p>He had lost the most important person in his life and he wished he could talk to Keiji just one more time..</p><p>Maybe he shouldn't miss the opportunity to talk to you. Maybe he would regret it if he'd let it pass.</p><p>"Mom?" Bokuto spoke into the phone, his black hair gelled back, as he was on his way to the gym.</p><p>"Morning honey! You're up early!" she giggled into the phone.</p><p>"I need some workout! Since I can't play, I don't want to gain weight so damn fast!" he explained, slightly pouting. Yes, he hadn't been awake before 12pm in the last weeks. But she didn't have to rub it in his face now that he had proudly managed to get up four hours earlier.</p><p>"Well, have fun! But don't overdo it!" Yui warned him softly.</p><p>"I won't" he rolled his eyes, though smiling. "The reason I'm calling you is actually another one.. I-" he took a deep breath before he continued, his mother patiently waiting for him to speak up again.</p><p>"If (Y/N) would ever come back to Tokyo.. And I'd meet her... I want to hear her side of the story..."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. The Cat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Black Cat with yellow eyes &lt;3</p><p>have fun reading :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the beginning of September already.</p><p>Keishin made himself comfortable next to you after handing over the drink you had ordered. </p><p>"Thanks Keishin" you smiled, earning a smirk from him. </p><p>"You're welcome!" his smile faded though when he turned to face the seats in front of him. </p><p>"And could you two please stop making out in front of me?? It's frustrating, really! Everyone's in love, everyone's having sex, talking about their stupid feelings and what about me? In ten years you'll find me rotten in the basement, eaten by my own cat!" he pouted before he drank his beer in one go. </p><p>"I'm sorry, Ukai" Daichi blushed, laughing sheepishly and turned away from Suga. The said man running a hand through his grey hair, happily. </p><p>"Yeah, sorry my ass" the blond snapped but gave his friends a crooked smile. </p><p>"So~, (Y/N), it's been more than two months now since we've talked about something important" Suga implied, raising one eyebrow. "Have you thought about it?" </p><p>Blushing, you took a sip of your drink to get some time to think of an excuse. Suga's stare didn't lose its intensity though. </p><p>"W-well.. I.." You stuttered, not knowing what to answer. Yes, you had thought about it. But you hadn't come up with an answer yet. </p><p>Suga sighed dramatically. "Aaah man!! Seriously? It's not that big of a decision! Just go there and tell him!" </p><p>Scoffing, you were the one to raise an eyebrow now. "Says the guy who almost fainted when thinking about confessing to Daichi!" </p><p>Suga turned an impossible shade of red. "Tha-that's..! It's not about me here! Don't change the subject!" Daichi chuckled next to his boyfriend. </p><p>You were about to say something when a loud, wholehearted laugh interrupted you. </p><p>Turning in your seat, you saw Tanaka and Shimizu walking into the bar. Waving at them, Shimizu grabbed his hand and dragged him with her. </p><p>It was nice spending time with all of them together. Daichi had already lost his protectiveness of Shimizu after he had learned that Tanaka was even worse when it came to that. </p><p>To your luck, Suga dropped the topic of Bokuto and meeting him and you had yet survived another day without having to think about it until your head started aching. </p><p>"I'm getting another round!" you said and stood to walk towards the bar. </p><p>As you waited for the bartender to take your order, your phone buzzed. </p><p>
  <em>Maybe</em>
  
  <em>it's</em>
  <em> mom </em>
  <em>asking</em>
  
  <em>me</em>
  
  <em>where</em>
  <em> I am. </em>
  <em>It's</em>
  
  <em>already</em>
  
  <em>pretty</em>
  
  <em>late</em>
  <em>. </em>
</p><p>Picking the phone out of your pocket, you had a message from an unknown number. </p><p>Someone had added you to a group chat. Furrowing your brows you read through the message. </p><p>
  <em>Ohoho</em>
  <em>! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Save </em>
  <em>the</em>
  <em> Date, guys! We're </em>
  <em>throwing</em>
  <em> a party </em>
  <em>for</em>
  
  <em>our</em>
  <em> best boy, </em>
  <em>Bokubro</em>
  <em> at </em>
  <em>the</em>
  <em> 20th of September. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I </em>
  <em>talked</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>him</em>
  <em> if he </em>
  <em>wanted</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>celebrate</em>
  
  <em>and</em>
  
  <em>that</em>
  
  <em>damn</em>
  <em> idiot had </em>
  <em>the</em>
  
  <em>audacity</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>say</em>
  <em> 'no'. So </em>
  <em>me</em>
  <em>, </em>
  <em>Atsumu</em>
  
  <em>and</em>
  <em> Hinata are </em>
  <em>organizing</em>
  <em> a surprise party </em>
  <em>for</em>
  <em> his 26th birthday. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Date: 20th of September </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Start: 8pm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Location: his house, </em>
  <em>you</em>
  <em> guys </em>
  <em>know</em>
  
  <em>the</em>
  <em> drill. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>PS: I </em>
  <em>stole</em>
  <em> his </em>
  <em>cellphone</em>
  
  <em>and</em>
  
  <em>added</em>
  <em> just a </em>
  <em>few</em>
  <em> of his </em>
  <em>contacts</em>
  <em>, so </em>
  <em>you</em>
  <em> should </em>
  <em>feel</em>
  <em> special </em>
  <em>that</em>
  
  <em>you</em>
  <em> are </em>
  <em>invited</em>
  <em>! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>PPS: I </em>
  <em>don't</em>
  <em> take no </em>
  <em>as</em>
  <em> an </em>
  <em>answer</em>
  <em>! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kisses ;) </em>
  <br/>
  <em>Kuroo</em>
</p><p>"What the-" </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>At </b>
  <b>the</b>
  <b> same time in Tokyo</b>
</p><p>Kuroo smirked at his phone. This had been way too damn easy. Stealing Bokuto's phone to copy and send his contacts to Kuroo's phone. </p><p>And that damn Miya asshole had thought, he couldn't do it. </p><p><em>Tz</em>. </p><p>Leaning back in his couch relaxed, he lazily folded his arms behind his head, smiling into nowhere. </p><p>The idiot would start howling like crazy, being so damn thankful for the party that he'd finally agree to introduce him, his best Bro, to all the hot girls Bokuto knew. </p><p>Grinning at himself, he felt his phone buzzing. </p><p>"Oi!" he picked it up, still smiling. </p><p>"Kuroo, you fucking idiot!" Atsumu yelled, making Kuroo almost drop his phone. "What the hell did you do?" </p><p>"Yes, Kuroo, what the hell did you do?" he heard Hinata's voice in the background. </p><p>"What's your problem, man?" Kuroo furrowed his brows, instantly annoyed by the unnecessary yelling. </p><p>"You're such a dumbass.. You invited (Y/N)! Why did you put her into the group chat as well?" Atsumu kept snapping at him, causing Kuroo to hold his phone away from his ear. </p><p>"Calm down! I just picked out some people we know and then added a few more contacts from girls with hot names! So what?" </p><p>"So what?" Atsumu scoffed. "He says, so what… Kuroo.. (Y/N) is <em>her</em>! Ya know? His number 12?! Do you finally get it?" </p><p>Kuroo thought about his words for second before he chuckled deeply. </p><p>"Oops" </p><p>"Fucking idiot.."</p><p>"Well, what do you want me to do? You can't ask me to uninvite her! That's rude!" Kuroo encountered, pinching the bridge of his nose. </p><p>"He's right, Atsumu.." Hinata sighed in the background. </p><p>"Go have a look if she's already seen your message!" </p><p>Scrolling through the group chat, he drew out of breath. "She's seen it already."</p><p>"Damn!" Atsumu groaned. "Well, fuck! Then we have to hope that she won't show up! She won't, will she? She's still in Sendai!" </p><p>"Most likely" Kuroo answered shortly. </p><p>"You should call her." Atsumu suddenly said.</p><p>"What? Why me?" the man asked outraged. </p><p>"Duh?! Because you accidentally invited her! Stupid idiot.." Atsumu retorted. Kuroo knew his friend was rolling his eyes on him. </p><p>"But what the hell should I tell her?? She doesn't even know me!" <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Meanwhile</b>
  <b> in Sendai</b>
</p><p>Someone had invited you to Bokuto's birthday? Did this someone know about you and him and the fight? Seemingly not since you were actually invited. </p><p>The drinks already waited for you on the bar but you could just stare at your phone. There was no way you could go there! </p><p>"(Y/N)" Suga called for you. Looking at him, you couldn't hide the helpless look on your face. </p><p>"Shit, what's wrong? Did something happen?" your friend asked. </p><p>You handed him your phone and watched how his eyes skimmed over the words that guy Kuroo had texted you. </p><p>His eyes grew slightly while reading before he laid the phone back into your hand. </p><p>"Well. You're going! Obviously" he decided, shrugging his shoulders as if this wasn't a big deal. </p><p>"Suga! I <em>can't</em> go there!" you stated, looking at your friend horrified. </p><p>"Why not? This is THE opportunity you need!!" speechless you shook your head violently. </p><p>"We're gonna call this guy right now" Suga ripped the phone out of your hand, making you jump and try to get it back. </p><p>"What?? Nooo!! Sugaaaa!!" you cried nervously. </p><p>Trying to reach the phone Suga was holding up on the air, it was no use. The male was way taller than you, and stronger… </p><p>
  <em>Please</em>
  
  <em>don't</em>
  <em>!!... </em>
  <em>I'm</em>
  <em> not ready </em>
  <em>for</em>
  
  <em>this</em>
  <em>… </em>
</p><p>"It's already ringing~" Suga smirked. <br/><br/></p><p>"Fuck, she's calling!" Kuroo suddenly had both his feet on the couch, not sure if he should pick up. </p><p>"Add her to our conversation, I wanna listen! She won't ever got to know. Just pick up you damn idiot!" Atsumu commanded.</p><p>And Kuroo obeyed. </p><p> </p><p>"Ohoho?" he picked up, hearing the tiniest, annoyed sigh from Atsumu. </p><p>There was some rustling, loud background noises like music and people talking; a guy whispering something and then.. </p><p>"H-hello" you stuttered into the phone, your cheeks burning red. </p><p>"Wh-who are you and why d-do you have my number? Mr… Kuroo?" <em>pathetic</em><em>.. A 25 </em><em>year</em><em> old woman </em><em>who's</em><em>incapable</em><em> of </em><em>taking</em><em> a </em><em>proper</em><em> phone </em><em>call</em><em>. </em></p><p>"Oooi, Chibi-chan!" he smirked. "Got your number from Bokuto's phone. I'm his best Bro, you know?" </p><p>Atsumu shook his head on his side of the line. </p><p>"Why did you invite me t-to that party?" you asked, playing with the rim of your shirt nervously. </p><p>"Do you wanna come?" </p><p>There was silence for a longer time, then whispering. </p><p>Raising his eyebrow Kuroo was about to ask if she was still on the phone but he heard a loud, defeated sigh before she spoke up again. </p><p>"Sure! I'd love to!" you buried your head in your hands, ignoring Suga's cheering and whisper yelling next to you. </p><p>"Well.. Great, then see you there I guess!" Kuroo's smirk grew even wider. </p><p>Oh, hell, his plan did actually work out! </p><p>"A-alright, yeah! S-see ya!" you stuttered before you hung up on him, not able to keep this conversation going on for any longer. </p><p>You had agreed to come. <em>Fuck</em>. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>"Why did you ask her if she wanted to come?" Atsumu asked him curious. </p><p>"Because, this way I gave her the opportunity to say 'no'! I would've never ask her not to come after I had just invited her!" </p><p>The Miya cursed silently. </p><p>"Look, Atsumu. Maybe she won't even come, okay? And even if, I'll take care of her" he promised his friend but was met with silence. "Not like <em>this</em>, man!! Dude!" he added, reading his friends quiet. </p><p>Atsumu sighed deeply. </p><p>"Alright.."</p><p>"Thanks man, just trust me" Kuroo smirked and hung up a second later. </p><p>His legs already on the couch table again, he smiled to himself. </p><p>Maybe Akaashi had always been his best friend and nobody would ever reach him. But he hadn't been the only one who could read his friends needs. Kuroo knew that Bokuto needed to talk to her. If they wouldn't, he'd never stop thinking about it. </p><p>And he would lose his friend to alcohol and drugs. Because he also knew that Bokuto wasn't as bad ass and strong as he seemed on the outside. He stood on the brink of falling way too deep, impossible for people around him to bring him back up. </p><p>His past, his losses and the hurt had been too much for Bokuto's fragile heart. He would break completely at some point. </p><p>So Kuroo had decided that he would invite her over, giving them a chance to talk about it. He wanted to his friend smile again. </p><p>And that's why Kuroo had invited her on purpose. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Brave</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>While writing this Chapter I actually got a panic attack which ended with me crying and laughing<br/>at the same time cause I couldn't handle all of those emotions i tried to describe here.</p><p>If you are sensitive with this topic, please read carefully.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I can't do that" you kept saying, while Suga dragged you along to find a present for Bokuto. </p><p>Your head hurt from shaking it every two minutes. </p><p>"C'me on, (Y/N), don't give me that bullshit. You hid for almost a year now. It's time, okay?" your friend scolded you, gently pushing you into the next store. </p><p>For two hours now you were running around, trying to find something that not only said 'I'm so incredibly sorry' but also 'I know who you are'. </p><p>As if attending his party wasn't already bad and nervwrecking enough, you had no idea what to get for him. </p><p>You wanted it to be nice. You wanted it to be meaningful. </p><p>But you couldn't find anything that would express any of the explosive emotions you held inside. </p><p>Damn, you had already searched your whole closet for a fitting outfit, even thinking about asking this guy Kuroo what you should wear. You hadn't texted him though. He was a complete stranger after all…</p><p>"After we found a decent gift for that guy, we'll go shopping for clothes!" Suga smiled, having the time of his life, dragging you around. </p><p>Sighing, you looked at him, desperate and tired. "Sugaaa" you cried. "Help me" </p><p>Laughing at your face, Suga took both of your hands into his own. </p><p>"Listen. You'll be fine. Aren't you excited to see him again?" </p><p>Dropping your head, you closed your eyes to hide the tears that were coming. </p><p>"I'm not sure" you silently sobbed. Suga gasped and a seconds later his arms wrapped around you. </p><p>"Oh, no! Don't! Don't cry! I promise it'll be just fine!" he pulled you even closer. "You-... You do really love him, do you?" </p><p>Hesitating, you nodded before the sobbing got even worse. </p><p>"But.. Sweety… that's a good thing!" </p><p>"But what if he doesn't want me? What if the damage I caused was so bad that he doesn't even want to see me?" you cried at his shoulder. The fear of losing him filled your whole body, now that there was no turning back. </p><p>Pushing every thought of him away, dreaming about 'what if's' had been nice because this way you could at least tell yourself that maybe this story had a nice ending. But now that you had to face it in less than two weeks, you were sure that you prefered to dream instead of living the reality in which Bokuto would turn you down. </p><p>"It won't happen" Suga told you. </p><p>Lifting your head from his shoulder, you sniffed. You didn't care that people saw you crying in the middle of the mall. </p><p>"How do you know?" </p><p>Suga grabbed your face and gave you a warm, comforting smile. </p><p>"Trust me" <br/><br/><br/></p><p>Only two days left. Keishin had sent you home after you had dropped the package with the glass water bottles, then the fresh oranges, most of them now mashed, and the huge bowl of rice you had wanted to bring upstairs to his grandma. </p><p>Keishin had sighed deeply, getting the broom, before he had literally forced you to stay away from his store until you returned from Tokyo. </p><p>Tokyo… </p><p>Strolling around in your bedroom, your mouth was completely dry, your heart racing. The door of your closet wide open, there weren't much clothes left in there because you had thrown them on your bed, on the floor and the desk and the chair, hoping that you'd find a fitting piece. But no. </p><p>There was none. And the outfit Suga had picked out for you was just… no, no, there was no way, you would wear that. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Desperate you groaned. In a few hours you'd need to take the train and nothing was finished yet. </p><p>Picking up your phone you pressed it against your ear, the ring tone already going off. </p><p><em>I </em><em>can't</em><em>believe</em><em>I'm</em><em>doing</em><em>this</em><em>…</em> </p><p>"Oi" </p><p>"H-hey, K-Kuroo? Here's uhm (Y/N)" you stuttered. </p><p>There… you were so desperate that you really called a stranger. </p><p>"Chibi-chan!" he sounded surprised. Well.. Who could blame him? </p><p>"Can I help you?" he asked, curious and honest. </p><p>"A-actually yes.. I.. My train is going in three hours and.. And I still have no idea what I should wear o-or what I should pack and and.. Fuck! I'm so so sorry!" you ranted, confused and nervous. </p><p>Kuroo chuckled on the other side of the line. He understood perfectly why Bokuto liked you. What a sweetheart, he thought, smiling into the phone. </p><p>"No! It's fine! Do you have some outfits planned? You could show me and I tell you which one Bokuto would like the most" </p><p>Rational thinking didn't seem to be your strength anymore. Since you agreed immediately. And instead of just showing the pieces on your bed, you slipped into the clothes and sent photos. </p><p>But you didn't feel uncomfortable at all with that guy. Yes, he was smug and you knew he was smirking all the time. But… For more than one reason you were thankful that he was there. He had invited you. And now he was here, taking his time to help you pick out an outfit. </p><p>To be honest it wouldn't even matter to you if he'd just help to get himself entertained. </p><p><em>Bokuto</em><em>-san </em><em>has</em><em> strange friends</em>.. You thought, smiling to yourself at the thought of Bokuto. </p><p>Kuroo commented on the outfits, like a guy would do, but it helped. When you sent him a picture of Suga's outfit thought, he chuckled slyly.</p><p>"Yes. That's what you're going to wear" he said slowly. You could practically hear the smirk. </p><p>"But isn't it way too short? I'm not going to Tokyo to seduce him! I.. I want him to listen to me.." closing your mouth, you realized you were just talking to one of his friends and not Suga. </p><p>Thinking about it… why the hell was he so nice to you? Why wasn't he treating you badly because you had hurt his friend? </p><p>To your surprise, Kuroo answered with the exact same words, Suga had told you. </p><p>"You want him to listen to you, huh? If you're wearing this, he won't be able to say another word, so you can go on and tell him whatever you want to" </p><p>Still wearing the white, tiny dress, you blushed. It really was cute. Not too sexy, just a little too short. </p><p>The cleavage was cut out in a round shape, giving the illusion of a fuller chest. A tiny waistband secured it perfectly in the middle, complementing your waist. </p><p>The dress stopped mid thigh and you sighed, rubbing your temples. </p><p>"It really is okay?" you asked again, still unsure and nervous. </p><p>"Absolutely, Chibi-chan" </p><p>"Kuroo?" </p><p>"Hm?" </p><p>"He doesn't know, that you invited me, right?" you asked. </p><p>"He has no idea." the guy laughed wholeheartedly and you weren't sure if it should bother or comfort you. <br/><br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>Two and a half hours later you sat on your train to Tokyo. You had brought that white flirty dress, a big, cozy, dusty pink cardigan and some accessories. A pair of tiny, dark blue sneakers, to make you appear girlier. You had no idea when you had ever had taken so much thought on just an outfit. </p><p>Never before really… </p><p>Clutching his present against your chest, you stared out of the window, watching the scenery passing by. In less than 12 hours you would see Bokuto again. </p><p>The emotions inside were a mix of fear, excitement, guilt and love. It was so damn tiring… but Suga was right. It was time. You shouldn't keep running from him. You should face it. And even if he'd reject you, at least you would've finally told him how you felt about him. <br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>You spend the night at Rin's apartment, talking to him until late into the night. You had missed him so so much and it felt incredibly nice to have him close. He told you about Makoto's and Haruka's wedding, his job and the family while he listened to your return to Sendai, your bonding with old friends and how nice it had been back home. </p><p>You realized that you had taken the friends you had made in Tokyo for granted. And you promised to yourself that you would never do that again. </p><p>What would you do without them? </p><p>Late that night, you fell asleep on his couch although he had offered you his bed. But you had declined. You didn't want to be a burden. <br/><br/><br/></p><p> </p><p>The next morning Rin woke you with a prepared breakfast. A light one. He knew how extremely nervous you would be so he didn't want to overwhelm your body before that party even started. </p><p>To Rin it was nice to see that you had finally decided to come here. For months and months he had preached that you were in love with Bokuto. And he had hoped that you would take the chance. After you had left, he kept hoping. The only thing Rin wished was for you to be happy. </p><p>And Bokuto could make you happy, Rin was sure. If you would only let him. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>(A/N: If you want to know what I listened to to get me into the mood of writing this extremely intense chapter (it was at least to me xD), get your earphones and listen to this song: Ily by Surf Mesa and Emilee)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Dressed in the white, flirty dress, the cardigan covering your shoulders, light makeup and a half updo, you sat in Rin's car a block away from Bokuto's house. </p><p>Your hands were trembling, you felt so hot, your legs were shaky. Parts of your body, like your hands and feet, didn't feel like they belonged to your body anymore. The nervousness eating you up from inside, Rin took one of your hands and squeezed it gently. </p><p>You could already see the party lights from the party since it was half past 8.</p><p>"You're gonna be fine. You look absolutely beautiful, your present is perfect and you know what to say, okay?" Rin told you, softly smiling at you. </p><p>Mechanically you nodded, your head feeling heavy and your neck strained. </p><p>"Okay, you got this girl! Now get out!" the maroon haired guy laughed. </p><p>Looking at him, silently asking for help, you opened the door and got outside, your purse pressed against your body as if it could protect you. </p><p>You closed the door and took a few steps, before you started panicking. You stopped in your tracks, trying to control your fast breath. But you couldn't. This was too much. So you ran back to the car and got in. </p><p>"What the-?" </p><p>"I-I can't do that! Rin" you turned to him, close to hyperventilating. "Please, drive me home. I can't, I can't go! I-I don't want him to look at me disappointed and hurt, I.. Can't take it, Rin. Please, drive me home!" you begged your friend vehemently, tears forming in the corners of your eyes. </p><p>"(Y/N)..." Rin whispered, again taking your hand into his. </p><p>"No, please. I.. Seriously can't do that! What was I thinking? That I'd feel better if I tell him? That everything would start feeling lighter again? I-I-" </p><p>"Yes!" Rin just said, locking eyes with you in a serious expression. </p><p>"Don't keep running away. Face him. Otherwise You'll always regret it" </p><p>A silent tear fell down your face, ready to be followed by many more, so Rin pulled you in and caressed your back. </p><p>"Heey… you got this, okay? You're the strongest woman I know! The most beautiful one that is. I'm here with you. I'll wait here for 30 minutes before I'll drive home. But you can always call me to pick you up, okay? Sugawara is thinking of you, this Kuroo guy wants you here. Shoyo is here. You're not alone with Bokuto."</p><p>Something about his words slowly calmed you down. You're breathing didn't slow down, but the crying stopped and you carefully brushed the tears away after you retrieving from his arms. </p><p>"Rin.." you whispered, desperate and scared. </p><p>"You came all the way here to see him. Don't turn back now" </p><p>The intensity in Rin's eyes was heavy. This was the look you'd seen on his face multiple times before his tournaments. And now it was directed to you. </p><p>Encouraging you to stay brave. </p><p>After a few minutes of silence, you finally nodded. "Okay" you whispered, one hand already on the door handle. </p><p>"Love you!!" Rin called after you and smiled. </p><p>'Love you too' you mouthed after you closed the door behind you a second time. </p><p>The way towards his house seemed way too far. Your steps grew heavy, your breaths short, your stomach clenched painfully at the fear that filled every fiber of your being. The dangling earrings, you wore, seemed to drag you down, the noises around too loud, the colors too bright.</p><p>This was it. Today, in only a few minutes, you would finally come clear to Bokuto. You would apologize to him about everything. You would tell him everything that came to your mind, you would explain your thoughts and feelings. You would confess the deep emotions you held for him. </p><p>And maybe he would turn you down. But at least you had tried. </p><p>Standing in front of his door, out of reflex you grasped into your purse to search for the keys, when you realized there was nothing for you to search for. </p><p>So many times you had opened this door with his spare keys. </p><p>You remembered the first time you had been here on your first day as Bokuto's personal assistant. The pictures you had seen. Sam, the picture of his graduation day, the picture on his night stand. You smiled faintly at the memory. Back then, you had thought Bokuto was a person you could live without. </p><p>And now, one and a half year later, you knew you couldn't. Knowing that this could be the last time entering his home, made you realize just how much you wanted him close. </p><p>With shaking hands and a racing heart you reached for the doorbell. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. And All I Ever Knew..</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Inspiration for this Chapter:</p><p>Only You by Selena Gomez</p><p>Have fun reading :3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The time that passed between the ringing of the doorbell and someone answering it, felt like an eternity. </p><p>So long that you thought about leaving again. Rin was still there, you could go if you wanted to. But you didn't move. Staring at the wooden door in front of you, it felt like your legs would give up any second. </p><p>When had you ever been so damn nervous.. </p><p>When finally the door opened, it happened so crucial slowly. Holding your breath, your pulse pounding uncontrollably fast and uneven. </p><p>A guy with black, messy hair and yellowish eyes smirked down at you. You instantly knew who he was. </p><p>"Kuroo" you swallowed, trying a smile. </p><p>"Chibi-chan" he answered, the smirk growing triumphantly. He opened the door wider, his hand gesturing you to step inside. </p><p>The second you had overstepped the threshold, everything slowed down. The people inside, the music, your own steps. Everything happened in slow motion. </p><p>The only thing you heard was your breathing and your intense heartbeat which sped up again when your eyes fell on him. </p><p><em>There</em><em> he </em><em>is</em><em>. </em><em>I'm</em><em>really</em><em> here. </em><em>I'm</em><em> finally here</em>!</p><p>His back was facing you while he was talking to Shoyo in the kitchen, his black hair looking quite nice on him. He wore some casual dark jeans and a tight fitting, white t-shirt. </p><p>Staring at him, you couldn't tear your eyes away from him. When you entered the room, you stopped and pulled your purse even closer to your body. </p><p>"Bokuto-san" you heard yourself saying from far away. </p><p>Shoyo looked at you and his eyes grew wide, Bokuto following his friends gaze until he met yours. </p><p>The smile he had been wearing vanished within a second and he fully turned around. </p><p>Staring at him, blinking tears away, you couldn't at all read his face. This was the moment that would decide it. </p><p>Bokuto took a deep breath before he put his glass away and walked around the kitchen island. He was still five big steps away when he stopped again, his face unreadable. </p><p>His silence made you nervous, more nervous than you already was. Was this the calm before the storm? Was his gaze telling you something you didn't understand? </p><p><em>Oh </em><em>God</em>, you started playing with the rim of your dress. <em>He </em><em>doesn't</em><em>want</em><em>me</em><em>to</em><em>be</em><em> here. </em></p><p>"B-Bokuto-san" you tried again, not even feeling your lips moving. "I-I came he-here to apologize a-and" you swallowed, your head dizzy and legs trembling like crazy. </p><p>If he would only say something. </p><p>"I'm s-so sorry" a tear escaped your eyes, rolling down your cheeks. </p><p>Everyone around you stopped what they were doing, watching you, as you tried to tell Bokuto what was on your mind. You didn't care. You didn't even realize. The only thing you could see now was Bokuto. His golden eyes fixed on only you. His attention only directed to you. </p><p>"I-I know, I'm late for all of this b-but I was scared you'd reject me, I s-still am, but.. I had to tell you, I had to at least try" you stuttered, the words leaving your mouth without you noticing. You didn't even remembered what you were saying. </p><p>Every intense emotion you had ever felt in the last one a half year since you had agreed to become his personal assistant crashed down your body and concentrated in your stomach, filling every fiber with warmth. </p><p>Bokuto's expression had changed, just the slightest bit. His eyebrows furrowed very softly, his eyes holding something deep. But he kept silent. It made you go crazy. But you were here to get rid of your feelings, to let them out. His reaction was not your first priority in that moment. </p><p>You felt yourself taking a step towards him, just the tiniest bit. Your knuckles white by now by how hard you where grabbing your purse. Your face dropped for a second before you lifted your head to look at him again. </p><p>"Bokuto-san.." you whispered. "I missed you. A-and I'm sorry. I should've told you earlier. I shouldn't have interrupted you. I regret that I hurt you" the stutter was gone, but the tears fell violently by now. "I was jealous and I regret pushing you away. I'm so so sorry!! If I had known.. If only I… I-I…" the sobs made you stop and you turned around to hide your hideous face. </p><p>He wouldn't speak to you, would he? He couldn't forgive you. There was one thing left you hadn't said but it was hard, so hard to say those words. Especially with him barely reacting to any words you said. </p><p>The silence was killing you by now and the emotions boiled over. </p><p>"I'm sorry" you whispered again and again, before the words finally, but quietly spilled out. </p><p>"I'm sorry.. I.. I love you, Bokuto-san, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" you sobbed heavily, choking on your sobs, your head still facing the door behind you, you grabbed the door frame for support before you fully turned around to leave. </p><p>You couldn't keep standing here. You couldn't stay here. You needed to get out. You had told him everything you had wanted to say, receiving nothing back. </p><p>The hurt was bone crushing. It broke your heart into thousand pieces. But still, Rin was right. You felt lighter as if you had put down a heavy package off of your shoulders. </p><p>"I'm sorry, Bokuto-san" you whispered once again, walking past Kuroo who was still standing by the front door, you buried your face in your armpit, crying endlessly. </p><p>You wanted to reach out for the door handle when a hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you back again. </p><p>Gasping you turned around again and found a pair of golden eyes, filled with tired happiness before Bokuto pulled you in, his arms wrapping around your tiny frame. </p><p>"Bokuto-san" you whispered, getting lost in his warmth. Leaning your head against his wide chest, you sniffed, still surprised, grabbing hands full of his shirt. </p><p>"I missed you too, Sexy. And I'm sorry" he whispered in your ear, his breath brushing against your neck. </p><p>"You look absolutely gorgeous, (Y/N)-chan." </p><p>Laughing weakly in between sobs, you pressed closer against his body. You couldn't get enough of feeling and touching him again. </p><p>And when Bokuto pulled away slightly to find your eyes once more, he gave you a warm, honest smile. The most beautiful smile you'd ever seen. </p><p>And that's when you realized. Your words had reached him. He had listened to you. He had forgiven you. He wanted you here with him. He held you close. He was smiling at you.</p><p>God, you had missed his smiles. His teases, his eyes, his voice...</p><p>And within seconds all of the tension left your body, providing space for the happiness and love that started to rush through our veins. </p><p>In the corners of your eyes, you saw Kuroo smirking, leaning against the wall, his hands in his pockets. The music reached your ears. The people talking, the laughs and chatters. </p><p>But all of that didn't matter to you since there was one person who's full attention you had. </p><p>A slight blush covered his cheeks and a sheepish smile found its way on his face when he brushed the back of his finger against your cheek, his other hand supporting the small of your back. </p><p>"H-happy Birthday Bokuto-san" you whispered, getting lost in those big, round golden eyes, which were filled with so many emotions. </p><p>His face grew even softer at your words, before he closed his eyes and slowly, very slowly leaned in. </p><p>Heart pounding, you held your breath, only to release it again, relaxed, when his lips met yours, gentle, slow and loving. </p><p>For some beautiful, intense minutes Bokuto kissed you, holding onto you as if he never ever wanted to let go of you.</p><p>He smiled into the kisses, becoming more eager when he felt you kissing him back.</p><p>Time stood still.</p><p>You were light as a feather, happy, relieved, fulfilled with this man's lips against yours, his arm around you, the other finding your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours.</p><p>After some time he pulled back, his forehead resting against yours, your lips just inches apart as a sheepish smile covered his handsome face.</p><p>Bokuto's intense eyes stared at you, glistening contently, thankfully, happily. Taking a deep breath, he spoke up softly.</p><p>"There's no one I could love as much as I love you.</p><p>Only you"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. ILY</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>An eternity of time passed by, in which Bokuto kept your lips occupied with his own. </p><p>And it felt so incredibly good.. He kept you close to his chest, gently holding you against him. Sometimes a hand started playing with your hair, running through some loose strands that fell out of your bun. </p><p>"I missed you so much, (Y/N)-chan" he kept whispering over and over, before claiming your lips once again. </p><p>Bokuto didn't care about the guests, he hadn't invited in the first place. He didn't care that some were staring. </p><p>The emptiness in his heart was gone, now that you were here by his side. </p><p>He had never believed that you would come back. Let alone on his birthday to surprise him with the purest, most honest apology, he had ever heard. </p><p>It had taken him a few seconds to understand. To understand that you were here for him, to understand the words you had said. And lastly, to understand that he had already forgiven what had happened the second he had seen you again. </p><p>You looked so gorgeous. The most beautiful woman in his eyes, he hasn't been able to stop staring. He had never dated to dream that you'd be brave enough to apologize and confess in front of so many people. </p><p>Although your confession had been pretty hard to hear, he had heard it. He had let it sink deeply into his skin, into his heart before he had finally found the courage to stop you from leaving. </p><p>And the moment you had kissed, he had already forgotten why the hell you had been fighting in the first place. </p><p>Bokuto had lost his best friend. His brother. And he couldn't change anything about it. </p><p>You had become a really, really important in his life and now he had the opportunity to take the chance, so he wouldn't lose another person he loved so dearly. </p><p>"Bokuto-san.." you aspirated at his lips, blushing when you felt the amount of eyes lingering on both of you. Standing on your tippy toes to reach his delicious lips the whole time. </p><p>"People are staring at us" you giggled, your fingertips playing with the short hair in his neck. </p><p>"You noticed just now?" Bokuto chuckled, his deep voice vibrating through your body. </p><p>"No, but I guess we've been kissing for a long time" the blush deepened and pulled away further. </p><p>"I don't care" he growled, pulling you closer. "I don't wanna stop kissing you" </p><p>Smiling underneath his lips, you kissed him back once more before you withdrew his desperate grip. </p><p>"Later?" you asked, biting your lip to tease him. </p><p>Bokuto swallowed and nodded. "Later" </p><p>"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Suga cried into the phone. "This is like a freaking fairytale! Oh, (Y/N), I knew it! I promised, didn't I?" </p><p>Giggling you stood outside in the backyard, after telling him what had happened when you had arrived. </p><p>Your friend losing his cool at the mention of a kiss. </p><p>"Yes, you did. Thank you, Suga." you smiled, happily grinning inwardly.</p><p>"I guess, I really am fallen for that idiot" you laughed. </p><p>"Hell yes, you are!" Suga cheered. "Now, hang up on me finally and enjoy the party! I need to cry out of happiness anyways, so text me tomorrow, okay?" </p><p>"I will" you promised and hung up. </p><p>Your eyes drifted over the beautiful backyard you had just discovered now, taking in a deep, happy breath. You felt so light and easy, it was ridiculous, really. </p><p>
  <em>So </em>
  <em>this</em>
  
  <em>is</em>
  <em> how love </em>
  <em>feels</em>
  <em> like? </em>
</p><p>"Oi, Chibi-chan" you turned to face the Rooster head and gave him a smile.</p><p>"How do you feel? Are you happy? Cause my Boi is. And it's all thanks to you" </p><p>Heat rising to your face, you bit your lip embarrassed. </p><p>"I'm sorry for the problems I caused and the things I did.. I saw Bokuto-san on television months ago after that fight with the fan. And I'm truly sorry for what I did" you apologized to him, knowing that it must've been difficult for his friends to see him like that. </p><p>Kuroo waved his hand, smirking. "Damn, Chibi-chan, it's fine! I'm not blaming you. You two did some stupid shit. But as we can see, everything worked out just fine" he grinned and offered you a cup of beer. </p><p>Taking it thankfully, you took a sip and smiled at him. "Thanks for helping me, Kuroo. We don't really know each other, but you were a huge support to me" </p><p>"Staahp, girl! You're making me blush if you keep talking" he laughed wholeheartedly, making you cock your head to the side. His laugh was nothing that you'd ever expected. He sounded like hyena, kind of. </p><p>"(Y/N)!" a warm, excited voice made you turn around, just to be greeted by a tight hug. </p><p>"Hey Shoyo" you giggled, wrapping your arms around him. Maybe he was the tiniest of the team. But your face was still pressed against his shoulder. He had grown. </p><p>"God, you look so amazing! It's so good to see you!" the short Middle Blocker beamed as he pulled away to hold your hands. </p><p>"Thank you, Shoyo" you murmured, flustered by his honesty. "It's good to see you, too."</p><p>Hinata smiled at you. "Oh, I'm here because Bokuto-san is searching for you!" he explained and pointed towards the house behind him. </p><p>You laughed silently. </p><p>He couldn't be away from you now, couldn't he? </p><p>When you got back inside, Bokuto instantly came rushing to you to wrap his arm around your shoulder. </p><p>" So~, Sexy. I want you to meet a few friends and I want you to get drunk. At least one of us should get a drink" he chuckled, dragging you along. </p><p>"You're not drinking?" you asked, surprised, looking up to him. </p><p>"Nope. Promised my mom to stop" he stated, matter of factly. </p><p>
  <em>His mom. </em>
  <em>This</em>
  
  <em>is</em>
  
  <em>the</em>
  <em> first time he </em>
  <em>mentions</em>
  <em> his mom. </em>
</p><p>"Also… (Y/N)-chan.." he stopped in his tracks and locked eyes with you. "Do you want to stay here over night?" he blushed at his own words, making you giggle softly. </p><p>With half lidded eyes, you bit your lip and nodded slowly. "I'd love to, Bokuto-san.." </p><p>Bokuto's eyes darkened at your words. He looked like he was debating whether or not he should throw you over his shoulder right now. </p><p>"Fuck, you're a damn tease, Sexy" he breathed in your ear and placed a kiss against your temple. </p><p>Smiling triumphantly you leaned against him comfortably. </p><p>The side he showed you this evening was so incredibly different to when you had first met him. This was his true self, was it? The bright smiles, the loud cheers, the happy laughter, that beaming face. This evening he was so close to being the guy you had only seen on pictures and it made you feel special. He finally felt comfortable enough to leave his mask behind. </p><p>It felt weird to be this close to Bokuto after everything that had happened. But not in a bad way. It was nice and warm and you were so extremely happy, that you were scared that something would happen any second. </p><p>Nobody could be this happy!</p><p>Several hours, cocktails and conversations with strangers later, you sat on his bed, drunk. Not completely wasted but pleasantly relaxed and happy. </p><p>Bokuto was in the bathroom, getting ready for bed. Everyone else was already gone. </p><p>Brushing your fingertips over the soft fabric of his bedsheets, you remembered the night, Bokuto had kissed you for the first time. He had confessed to you that night and you were now sure of it. </p><p>He was such a sweetheart… </p><p>"(Y/N)-chan" he called, leaning in the door frame. </p><p>Raising your head to meet his gaze, you smiled. "Hm?" </p><p>"I don't want to sound rude or anything.. But.. It's my birthday and you're the only guest who came without a present." he chuckled, cocking his head to the side like an owl. </p><p>Gasping, you stood from the bed. </p><p>"I totally forgot about that! Wait a second!" </p><p>You told him, rushing downstairs to get your purse. </p><p>When you came back up, Bokuto sat on his bed, legs crossed while leaning against the back. A content look on his handsome face. </p><p>Pulling it out, you sat down next to him. "It's nothing special… I just.. Thought you might like it" you murmured, flustered and nervous what he would say about your first present for him. </p><p>You reached it out for him to take and Bokuto sat up straighter, beaming like a kid on Christmas day. Grabbing the wrapped present, he ripped it open impatiently and stared at it. </p><p>"B-be careful, would you?" you scolded him softly, though enjoying the excitement on his face. </p><p>Nodding fastly, he unfolded the shirt you had found while shopping with Suga. </p><p>It was a light yellow color, similar to the yellowish golden shade of Fukurodani. </p><p>Concentrated he didn't recognize that something had fallen out of the folded shirt. </p><p>His big eyes grew even bigger when he looked at the imprint on the front. </p><p>Turning it around for you to see, he chuckled and looked at you. </p><p>"<em>You're</em><em>my</em><em>favorite</em><em> of OWL time</em>?" His chuckle changed into a silent laugh. "You're so damn cute, I could eat you up right now" you blushed intensely at his words.</p><p>"Do you like it?" you asked nervously, fidgeting with your fingers. </p><p>Bokuto gave you a crooked smile, leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. "I love it." another kiss. "And you're my favorite of Owl time, too" </p><p>Smiling back at him, you took his hand into yours to squeeze it shortly. </p><p>"There's another one, uhm…" you grabbed the other piece and put it in his hand. </p><p>"A picture?" he asked, holding the frame upside down, so he couldn't see the actual photograph. </p><p>You shrugged your shoulders and nodded, biting the inside of your cheek when he turned it around. </p><p>Bokuto kept silent for a longer time, just staring at the picture. </p><p>After more than five minutes, you got anxious, thinking he didn't like it at all. </p><p>"D-don't you like it?" you asked then, breaking the silence. </p><p>"(Y/N)-chan" he whispered. Shocked you saw one single tear running down his face. </p><p>"Bokuto-san?!" </p><p>He carefully put the picture away and stood from the bed. Only to walk onto your side, grab your hands and pull you up to meet him in a loving embrace. </p><p>"I love you so much" he whispered. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>(A/N: </b>
  <b>Slight</b>
  
  <b>sexual</b>
  
  <b>content</b>
  <b> starts here) </b>
</p><p>Silent moans filled his bedroom, whispers, promises, confessions. </p><p>Bokuto's warm, strong hands roamed over your naked body, patiently, slowly, exploring your back, thighs, shoulders and chest, while his lips placed soft kisses on your neck. </p><p>Your arms resting on his shoulders, you threw your head back in pleasure, allowing his lips to travel further down. </p><p>His breathing was as fast as his rapid heartbeat, while he took his time to give you as much attention as you deserved in his eyes. </p><p>Sharing endless amounts of kisses with Bokuto, you didn't dare to open your eyes, afraid that this was a dream. You had never felt so good before. You had never been so in love before. </p><p>After exploring your body with his hands, he softly laid you on your back to continue working his lips everywhere he wanted to taste you. </p><p>From your neck, over your breasts, to you stomach and further down, starting to devour you with his tongue and lips while his hands gently ran over your thighs, sides and stomach. Sometimes holding onto your hips to control your movements, he didn't stop treating you in the most erotic way a man had ever cherished you. </p><p>He moaned deeply, breathing fast, sweet talking to you and it was too much for you. This incredible sexy man wanted you, just you. And he made sure you would never forget. </p><p>Skilled hands knew exactly where you wanted to be touched, lips knew where to kiss you, to make you arch your back, releasing loud, uncontrollable moans. </p><p>Bokuto found every soft spot, he knew when to stop. He knew when he had to go harder. </p><p>Everything he did was just to make you feel good. And damn… You didn't just feel 'good', you felt incredible, almost losing your mind, squirming and trembling underneath his hands and tongue. </p><p>More than once he made you cry out, exploding heavily under his extremely intense treatment. </p><p>Returning the favor with the same eagerness, looking at Bokuto was almost as sexy as getting treated. His eyes closed, his brows furrowed, he groaned, cussed and breathed loudly when your tongue trailed up and down before swallowing him whole, over and over again. </p><p>His head thrown back, he fisted his hands into the bedsheets, not knowing what to do, unable to say one normal sentence. </p><p>Looking at him through half lidded eyes, you swore to yourself you would never forget the look on his face when you satisfied him with the same effort as he had. </p><p>When Bokuto finally had enough of your sweet teasing, he turned, threw you on the bed and pulled your near the edge of the bed before he roughly, though gently claimed you as his. </p><p>Hours and hours went by, none of you able to stop yourself. Bokuto was too much, too sexy, too big for your own good. You loved everything he did, every moan he gave you, every kiss, touch and every single powerful thrust. </p><p>His trained body covered in sweat, he didn't stop. </p><p>This was heaven. You never wanted to stop. You never wanted to kiss, touch or taste someone else ever again. </p><p>The only one you wanted and needed was Bokuto. The stamina he had as impressive as the skills he had. </p><p>
  <b>(A/N: </b>
  <b>End</b>
  <b> of </b>
  <b>inappropriate</b>
  <b>, </b>
  <b>adult</b>
  
  <b>content</b>
  <b> :D) </b>
</p><p> </p><p>It was almost 5am when you laid next to him, completely drained, your body sore and satisfied. </p><p>Almost drifting to sleep, you heard Bokuto whisper into your ear. </p><p>"I want you to meet my family" </p><p>Turning to face him, your eyes grew wider. </p><p>"Really?" you asked, honored that he wanted to introduce you to them. </p><p>"Yeah" he chuckled. "Is that okay with you?" </p><p>Nodding, you suppressed the happy tears and kissed him instead. </p><p>"Yes, absolutely! I-I can't wait!" </p><p>Caressing your naked back, Bokuto cuddled closer to you, a bright smile on his tired face. </p><p>"I'm so happy" he whispered, looking at the new picture on his nightstand. </p><p>A picture of you and Bokuto, Sam happily strolling in between, while you walked out of the BJ stadium in the evening, your backs facing Shoyo's camera, both of your hands almost touching. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Rain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Song listened to: The Night We Met - Lord Huron</p><p>So, here you go.<br/>It's getting emotional :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Bokuto-san!" you giggled, when the pro player nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, starting to lick and kiss you again the next morning.</p><p>"Hm?" he murmured, his mind clouded with dirty thoughts, barely able to listen to your words.</p><p>Trying to push him away, he snuggled even closer. His hands roaming over the soft skin of your thighs.<br/>"We need to get up and eat something" you laughed by now, his messy hair tickling your skin.</p><p>Smirking into his kisses, he traveled lower, his hands almost touching your core.<br/>"I <em>am</em> about to eat-"</p><p>"Bokuto!!" you gasped and laughed even louder. Extremely flustered you lifted his head from your stomach and leaned forward to kiss him.</p><p>"I meant real food, you damn pervert" looking eyes with him, he smirked even more.</p><p>"Fine. I can wait for dessert. But.. can you?"</p><p>Scoffing you pushed away even further. "Why are you teasing me anyways?" you asked, pouting playfully.</p><p>"Because you keep calling me, Bokuto-san! Don't get me wrong, it's kinda hot.. I'm your Senpai after all. But I guess I'd prefer my girlfriend to call me by my first name" he purred, coming closer again, rubbing his nose against yours.</p><p>"So, I'm your girlfriend?" you teased and ran your hands over his naked shoulders.</p><p>Bokuto backed away, unsure all of a sudden.<br/>"Aren't you?" he looked nervous.</p><p>Taking his face into your hands, you pressed another kiss on his lips.<br/>"I am, Kotaro"</p><p>He started beaming at your words and within seconds, Bokuto smashed his lips against yours again, hungry and eager, until you forgot why you had stopped him just minutes ago.</p><p>Seemed like Breakfast had to wait after all..</p><p>Spending most of the day in bed, cuddling, kissing, enjoying having each other close, you only got Bokuto out of bed for food.</p><p>By evening though Bokuto and you relaxed on his couch, watching a movie.</p><p>Lying in his lap, Bokuto had his left arm around your shoulder, the right hand playing with your hair.</p><p>The warmth that ran through your body while he did so, was amazing and incredible. You still couldn't believe that you had dared to come here, to apologize and to confess. Let alone believe that he had accepted and had told you your love was mutual.</p><p>Even though you had spent the night with him, having him near many, many times by now, as well as this morning, you still weren't sure this was true.</p><p>You could stay here forever. In his arms. The idiot, you loved, close to you. But reality had other plans.</p><p>The next morning you'd have to get back home.</p><p>You still had a job there. You couldn't let Keishin down. Also you couldn't just tell Bokuto that you would move back to Tokyo because of him. It would be too much for both of you as a couple.</p><p>Everything was still extremely fresh and even if he had forgiven what you had done, both of you still had a way to go to strengthen your new found relationship and love. Even if you both had accepted to leave your mistakes behind, the wounds were still there.</p><p>"Bokuto-san" you murmured contently, loving the way his hands ran through your hair.</p><p>"Hm?" he answered, leaning even further into his couch.</p><p>"You know I need to get back tomorrow, right?" you asked, slightly raising your head.</p><p>His hand stopped for a second and he sighed.</p><p>"Yeah.."</p><p>Coming onto your knees next to him, you found his sad eyes. You reached out to him and cupped his cheek.</p><p>"You know, that doesn't mean, that I will leave you, right?" cocking your head, you watched him closely. You had learned that Bokuto didn't like to be left. He had asked you, more than once now, not to leave him. Although you didn't know the reason behind it yet, you just wanted to make sure, he knew, that going back to Sendai didn't mean this was over.</p><p>The black haired male leaned into your touch, eyes closed, and nodded slowly.</p><p>"And you know I'll come back, right?"</p><p>Another nod before he opened his eyes again.</p><p>Getting lost in his big golden orbs, you caught yourself wondering how you had never seen past this mask. You almost couldn't remember the guy you had met. The pervert, the loud mouth, the teaser.</p><p>Now, right now, while keeping intense eye contact with you, Bokuto looked so sweet, handsome, vulnerable and perfect to you, that your body filled with a wave of love. Leaning in, you gave him a soft kiss.</p><p>"I love you, Ko-chan" you whispered against his lips, feeling his broad body tense immensely.</p><p>He kissed back, just the slightest bit, before he pulled back to look at you again.</p><p>"Ko-... chan?" he whispered, eyebrows furrowed in.. In sorrow.</p><p>"Is it.. I'm sorry, you don't like it when I call you that, right?" you sat back next to him, scratching the back of your head nervously.</p><p>Yes... your relationship was way too fresh and way too fragile.</p><p>Bokuto sat up straighter and looked at you.</p><p>"No, it's just... My best friend used to call me 'Ko-chan'" if you weren't so damn attentive, you would've missed the tiny sparkle in his eyes, when he said that. Mixed with the sorrow on his face, you knew, Bokuto debated on whether he should tell you something or not.</p><p>
  <em>Did</em>
  
  <em>something</em>
  <em> happen </em>
  <em>between</em>
  
  <em>him</em>
  
  <em>and</em>
  
  <em>Kuroo</em>
  <em>?</em>
</p><p>"Kuroo calls you Bokubro now, right?" you asked instead, hoping this would be a more sensitive way to ask him.</p><p>There were still many, many mysteries about the man you loved. And even though you were lovers now, it didn't mean he was ready to share his story with you.</p><p>That he looked like that after you'd called him Ko-chan only meant to you that it held a deeper meaning.</p><p>Now that Bokuto's mask had fallen, it was like it was gone completely. But you didn't want to overstep boundaries.. It was still his decision to open up.</p><p>"Kuroo?" he asked, cocking his head, eyebrow raised. Surprised you both looked at each other.</p><p>"Yes, I mean, in this group chat he-" a deep chuckle interrupted you.</p><p>"Kuroo is indeed a close friend to me. But he's not the one who called me Ko-chan." he explained, shaking his head, chuckling, at the thought of the Rooster headed hyena.</p><p>Sure it had been Kuroo who had invited you to his birthday. Bokuto had known that the black haired womanizer had been up to something when he had 'secretly' stolen his phone.</p><p>It seemed that Kuroo had planned this from the beginning, without telling anyone else. Not even Shoyo and Atsumu. Smiling inwardly, he decided he should reward Kuroo for this. His friend had really managed to make you come back to Tokyo.</p><p>Kuroo was a good friend, a dear friend. Someone Bokuto appreciated so much, he'd do anything for him. Except his parents, Kuroo was the only one who had personally known Keiji. During Keiji's funeral Kuroo had stayed by Bokuto's side the whole time.</p><p>He had always been there whenever Bokuto had needed something. They didn't see each other often nowadays, but that didn't change that fact that they were close. Kuroo had never been a guy of many words. It were his actions that showed Bokuto how much he meant to Kuroo.</p><p>And now he had helped you and Bokuto to clear things up. Bokuto guessed, if there was one thing, Kuroo wished for for his friend, then it was that he finally saw Bokuto happy again. Maybe not as happy as he had been before Keiji's death. But at least close to that. Kuroo seemed to think that you could make him that happy. He seemed to trust you.</p><p>Not that Bokuto didn't trust you, but that Kuroo, the biggest teaser and fuckboy he had ever met, had arranged a meeting for Bokuto to get the girl he loved, made him feel safe to open up. A man who didn't believe in love and romance had asked you to come, to make Bokuto's romance come true. Knowing how much you meant to him. Knowing he was ready to open up.</p><p>And you deserved to hear what Bokuto hid. You deserved to know it all. He just didn't know where to start.</p><p>"Yesterday I told you that I want you to meet my family, remember?" Bokuto asked after a few minutes of silence. Nodding you swallowed, not minding the change of topic.</p><p>Bokuto seemed ready. He didn't look at you at first when he started talking, but the calm expression on his face said it all.</p><p>"I know that you have to go back. But I still want you to meet them one time. And until then I.. I really want you to know a few things." now his eyes locked with yours. "About me"</p><p>Taking his hand into yours, you squeezed it gently and nodded. "Okay" the faintest of whispers left your lips as you stared back at him.</p><p>Maybe you wouldn't be prepared of what was coming next. But you were ready for him, for his story. You were ready to listen to whatever Bokuto wanted to tell you. And you were more than thankful and happy that he felt safe enough to tell you.</p><p>Bokuto swallowed. When had been the last time he had told someone about his past, his parents, Keiji? It was years ago, when he had told Atsumu and Hinata. It had been hard. But Bokuto knew this had been the right decision. He could trust his friends.</p><p>And he could trust you.</p><p>"Although Kuroo is like family to me, it's not him I want you to meet. I-I mean, you kinda know him already but.. Yeah" he stopped, close to panicking.</p><p>
  <em>She</em>
  
  <em>won't</em>
  
  <em>leave</em>
  
  <em>when</em>
  <em> I tell her. </em>
  <em>She</em>
  
  <em>won't</em>
  
  <em>leave</em>
  
  <em>when</em>
  
  <em>she</em>
  
  <em>knows</em>
  <em>. </em>
  <em>She</em>
  
  <em>won't</em>
  
  <em>leave</em>
  
  <em>when</em>
  <em> I show her </em>
  <em>everything</em>
  <em> of </em>
  <em>me</em>
  <em>.. </em>
  <em>Right</em>
  <em>?</em>
</p><p>Although the fear seemed to take over Bokuto again, the touch of your hand, the tiny comforting squeeze and the worried look on your face, made him open his mouth again.</p><p>"Also... Uhm.. It's not my biological parents. It's my best friends parents I want to introduce you to."</p><p>Surprised you opened your mouth, only to close it again. You guessed it was better to just listen. Nodding, you waited for him to continue.</p><p>"My.. Biological parents.. You know, uhm.. They never wanted a child. I always knew it.. My dad was always gone. But whenever my dad was home, they fought. I never saw it, but I guess my dad abused my mom. She.. More than once I saw bruises on her arms or neck. Whenever I asked her about it, she yelled at me. I heard her cries at night, praying and hoping that she wouldn't go to hell because she wished I was never born. I.. I guess that and that my father was abusive was the reason she let her anger out on me"</p><p>Squeezing his hand even more, you felt tears burning in your eyes. How could someone do this to their own son?</p><p>"Kotaro..." you dared to say, quietly.</p><p>The always bright smiling boy had been raised in an abusive household. The boy in the pictures had bruises on his arm that weren't from playing too rough, they were there because his parents had let it come this far, not taking care of their child.</p><p>Bokuto shook his head and chuckled silently. "It's fine.. I-I wasn't alone, you know?" he gave you a crooked, sad smile, stroking your cheek with the back of his hand.</p><p>"Near my house lived my best friend, Akaashi Keiji. We always played Volleyball together. I had to hide my love for volleyball since my mother didn't want me to play. But the Akaashi's encouraged me to follow my dreams. They tried to adopt me. They tried to help me with my mother. But.. You know I was a kid and I didn't want my mother to go or to leave. That's why I didn't tell the police what she did."</p><p>He stopped again, finding your tear filled eyes.</p><p>"I spend most of my childhood at their house. I practically lived there, they took care of me whenever they could. But my mother was strict, so I had to come back home at night. Some days she didn't allow me to go there. Sometimes she didn't let me go for weeks. I still don't know why she decided differently every single day."</p><p>He shifted in his seat and bit his lip nervously.</p><p>"She was a strange woman but I love her. She.. She's my mother after all. But.. When I attended Fukurodani and moved into their dorm rooms, she moved without telling me where and why. The last time I saw her was the day, Keiji and I brought my stuff into Keiji's Dad's car. I've never heard from her ever since."</p><p>The words that filled your thoughts hurt you so deep, that besides the pain and worry you felt for Bokuto, hot, steaming hatred rushed through every fiber of your body.</p><p>The tears were spilling over by now. You couldn't believe what Bokuto was telling you. His parents had abused him. They had mistreated him for years. They had forbidden the only thing that had made him happy. They had made sure that their son knew he wasn't wanted, needed... Loved.</p><p>They had outcasted him. A fifteen year old boy.</p><p>A boy who had chosen to smile while his heart held injuries that would never fully heal.</p><p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>Bokuto</em>
  
  <em>knows</em>
  
  <em>what</em>
  <em> pain </em>
  <em>is</em>
  <em>. He </em>
  <em>knows</em>
  
  <em>what</em>
  
  <em>it</em>
  
  <em>means</em>
  
  <em>to</em>
  
  <em>suffer</em>
  <em>."</em>
</p><p>"I love her, you know?" Bokuto repeated, swallowing the lump in his dry throat. You were crying for him. Out of sympathy, out of love. He knew it wasn't pity. The look in your eyes told him so.</p><p>"But I never wanna see her ever again. Let alone my dad. And.. And.."</p><p>The whole time Bokuto looked troubled and sad as he told you. But it was nothing compared to the face he held now. There was grief, sorrow and pain.</p><p>"At my graduation Keiji's parents asked me if I wanted to get adopted. And hell yes, I wanted to." he chuckled silently at his own words, remembering the moment he had fallen into his best friends arms, crying, sobbing, fully happy.</p><p>But before he continued his smile fell.</p><p>"I was an Akaashi from this day on. I had a loving family, the best brother I'd ever wished for. Parents who supported my dream to become a professional Volleyball Player. I had never been so happy in my entire life" another sad smile crossed his face, his eyes dropped to his hands, that nervously played with yours. His eyes were brimming with tears. And you gasped silently, getting closer to him.</p><p>"For... For.. For a few weeks Keiji and I were brothers. Until.. Uhm.. You see uhm.. I had an job interview and.. Keiji had promised me to join since I was so damn nervous... But since he was a year younger than me, he still had school and he couldn't make it in time. The.. The last message I got from him was.. That he wishes me luck and that he'll come after me as soon as possible."</p><p>Bokuto hid his face for a short time, taking a deep shaky breath, before he dared to continue.</p><p>"Keiji uhm.. Seemed to be in a rush, trying to reach me in time before the interview started. And he didn't watch close enough, so the damn idiot" a desperate sob left Bokuto, your heart beating fast, scared of his next words. "He ran across the street and got hit by a car."</p><p>Your eyes went wide. Your heart clenching painfully.</p><p>"Keiji, he.. He d-died in my arms hours later."</p><p>For a very short second you just sat next to him, unable to move, unable to say a word. Before your arms wrapped around him and pulled him close to your chest, your tears falling violently. The sound of his sobs hurting you, knowing you couldn't change anything about the fact that he had lost his best friend.</p><p>That his brother had died.</p><p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>It's</em>
  
  <em>
    <b>that</b>
  </em>
  
  <em>day</em>
  <em> again, </em>
  <em>ya</em>
  
  <em>know</em>
  <em>?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>Would</em>
  
  <em>you</em>
  
  <em>sleep</em>
  <em> here </em>
  <em>with</em>
  
  <em>me</em>
  <em>?"</em>
</p><p>It wasn't important in that moment, but now you understood. Everything. His behavior, the picture on his nightstand, his mask. Everything came crashing down and the weight of his past spread over your body like a thick, heavy blanket.</p><p>This was the reason Bokuto was scared that people left. By their own choice. Or by a tragic incident.</p><p>
  <em>"(Y/N)-chan.. </em>
  <em>Please</em>
  <em>, </em>
  <em>don't</em>
  
  <em>leave</em>
  
  <em>me</em>
  <em>..."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>People</em>
  
  <em>kept</em>
  
  <em>pushing</em>
  
  <em>me</em>
  <em> away </em>
  <em>when</em>
  
  <em>they</em>
  
  <em>learned</em>
  
  <em>about</em>
  
  <em>my</em>
  
  <em>other</em>
  <em> side"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>Don't</em>
  <em> go.. "</em>
</p><p>This was the reason he didn't let people near. This was the reason Bokuto had become the person he is right now.</p><p>Broken, but strong.<br/>Hurt, but gentle.<br/>Outcasted, but caring.</p><p>Trying to process all of these new information, you just held him tight, hoping to somehow soothe the pain he felt inside.</p><p>All the loss, all the grief and hatred. You wanted to show him, that now that you knew, you accepted every single part of it. You accepted every single part of him. Even though this seemed ridiculous to you, you understood that it was important to Bokuto, since he had hidden, for way too long, the person he really was.</p><p>"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Kotaro." you whispered, pushing back the urge to cry even more, while stroking his back. It was you who had to comfort him. Not the other way around. And you tried your best to make him feel at least safe, here in your arms. "I'm so sorry, for everything."<br/><br/><br/></p><p>This night Bokuto held you even closer while sleeping. As if he was still scared that you would run.</p><p>Maybe you had to go back to Sendai tomorrow. But you would come back. You'd always come back to him. Wherever life would take him. You'd stay by his side.</p><p>Hearing his calm heartbeat, you smiled faintly.</p><p>Maybe Bokuto was scared that the truth about Bokuto Kotaro would make you run away. But it was the complete opposite.</p><p>You wanted to never leave again. Not tomorrow, not again, not ever. Not out of pity or sympathy. But because he had let you in. More than you'd ever imagined just a year ago. He had opened up completely.</p><p>It made you a part of his life. And you knew, while watching him sleep, that you belonged right here. In his arms, in his life.<br/><br/><br/></p><p>The next day Bokuto was unusually silent. He seemed nervous and unsure. When he came out of the shower and picked out some clothes, you approached him from behind, hugging him.</p><p>You could only imagine how vulnerable he felt like, now that he had told you. Only time would show him that he had no reason to be nervous about it. But for now, you tried to calm him, by showing him that you'd been honest with him.</p><p>"I meant it, Kotaro. I love you. And I won't leave. I will come back to you." you repeated, resting your face against his naked, warm back.</p><p>Bokuto turned, his face dipping down to meet your eyes. His forehead resting against yours. He intertwined your hands and nodded with a tiny smile, but he kept silent.</p><p>Getting on your tippy toes, you closed the small distance and captured his lips in a loving kiss. Closing his eyes, Bokuto returned the kiss, leaning into it contently.</p><p>You felt him smile into the kiss, just the tiniest bit, but he smiled.</p><p>For a few minutes you just kissed, slowly, gently, savoring the last few moments before you needed to go in an hour.</p><p>When Bokuto pulled away, he squeezed your hands.</p><p>"Do you want to meet him?" he asked, swallowing nervously.</p><p>Surprised, you nodded. "I'd love to"<br/><br/><br/></p><p>Bokuto seemed calm and collected when you reached Keiji's grave. It was a small tomb, but beautiful. Flowers everywhere.</p><p>Getting on your knees, you laid a tiny bouquet of flowers next to Keiji's picture.</p><p>Looking at his kind face, the tiny smile playing on his lips, a wave of sadness washed over you. He looked like a really nice person. A warm one with a big heart. Keiji looked as pretty as he had on the picture of Bokuto's graduation. The day he had become Bokuto's brother. Holding back the tears, you reached for Bokuto's hand. He held onto it firmly, but still gentle.</p><p>"Hey, Kei-chan" he whispered, looking down at the picture of his best friend and brother.</p><p>"I want you to meet someone." he gestured towards you with his free hand, a faint smile playing on his lips.</p><p>"That's (Y/N). I-I've told you about her a few times by now."</p><p>You noticed him swallowing, a soft blush on his cheeks, and gently squeezed his hand for comfort.</p><p>Knowing that Bokuto had told Keiji about you, made you smile, sad but warm.</p><p>"You'd have liked her. She's smart, just like you, and she's keeping me out of trouble. She.. Reminds me of you sometimes"</p><p>Looking at the man you loved, confessing his feelings for you to his best friend, made the tears spill over silently. Bokuto looked proud and happy, though sad and troubled.</p><p>"I love her, you know" Bokuto scratched the back of his head sheepishly.</p><p>"Do you remember how we talked about how I'd find a girl someday who'd support me just like you always did? Well... it's her." he chuckled silently, squeezing your hand. "I hope you approve of her"</p><p>The chuckle turned into a nervous laugh and he looked at you for a short time before his eyes darted back to Keiji.</p><p>Leaning against Bokuto's shoulder, you tried to be there for him as good as possible. You felt honored that you met the person that meant the most to Bokuto. And it felt incredible that he found that you and Keiji were alike. Even though you didn't know Keiji, to you this was the most beautiful compliment you had ever received.</p><p>If it was even possible you fell even more for him in this moment.</p><p>The guy you had met almost two years ago seemed so far from the man who stood next to you now, openly sharing his feelings and emotions for you with his best friend.</p><p>You could only imagine how close their friendship had been.. With Keiji, you knew, he had always, always been himself. With Keiji he had always felt a hundred percent comfortable of being himself. And it meant so damn much to you and made your heart grow, that he now seemed to trust you as much.</p><p>Bokuto kept silent, staring at his best friend, while holding you close to him.</p><p>Keiji's answer needed a few minutes. But it came. Without any of you noticing, the sky was covered in heavy clouds and soon enough, it started raining.</p><p>Not just raining. It started pouring.</p><p>And Bokuto closed his eyes, facing towards the sky and smiled contently.</p><p>"That's his answer. Keiji loved the rain." he whispered.</p><p>And while the rain drained both of your clothes, you stood next to each other, looking up at the sky, hands intertwined.</p><p>Never before had you felt so close to Bokuto before.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Bokuto Kotaro</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This will be the last Chapter before the very final Epilogue :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was hard to say Goodbye. After spending just two days together you sat on the train on your way back home to Sendai. </p><p>While looking out of the window, seeing the scenery passing by, Bokuto's sad face flashed before your eyes ever so often. </p><p>"Promise me to come back to me" that's what he had said. His golden orbs full of love for you. </p><p>Nodding with a faint smile, you had kissed him, drowning in the arms of the man you'd fallen for. </p><p>After everything that had happened, everything you had learned about him, you couldn't be happier that things had turned out to be like this. </p><p>Although every second that passed got you further away from him, you felt so light, almost floating. </p><p>You knew he was here, waiting for you. You knew he couldn't wait to see, to kiss and to hold you close again. </p><p>Shaking your head, still in slight disbelief, you giggled to yourself. </p><p>The man you had met a year and a half ago was now your boyfriend. The man who had disgusted you so many times. The teaser, the pervert. </p><p>"<em>He just </em><em>needs</em><em> a </em><em>little</em><em> push in </em><em>the</em><em>right</em><em>direction</em><em>"</em> Yamiji had said to you as if he had known, that the right person would help him be confident enough to show his real self again. </p><p>You had lost count of how many times Bokuto had tried to get his hands underneath your skirts or dresses, how often you had punched him for using the most inappropriate words in front of you or other people's presence. How many times he had teased you, smirked and laughed at you. That dirty, deep one that made you tremble whenever you thought about it now. </p><p>There was a world without Bokuto. But it wasn't a world that you wanted to be part of. Because now that you had seen the other side of him, you knew he had always hidden the most precious and sweet man you had ever met. </p><p>The way he wrapped his arms around you, scared that you would run away. The way his eyes locked with yours, with such an intensity, as if he thought you'd be gone when he blinked. The deepness of his kisses, trying to imprint your lips on his own. The soft words. The gentle touches. The sweet gestures. </p><p>But he also seemed to like his other side, since he loved the teases, the tickling, the dominant Alpha behavior when you were alone with him in bed. The dirty smirks and the even dirtier words. </p><p>This man made your head turn in the sweetest way. He made you shiver and tremble. He made you laugh. </p><p>He made you fly. </p><p>All of this was Bokuto Kotaro. </p><p>And all of Bokuto had confessed to love you. Only you. <br/><br/><br/></p><p>Two weeks later you laid on your bed, staring at the ceiling while listening to Bokuto's impatient voice on the other side of the line. </p><p>"You seem to be extremely restless, Bokuto" you laughed when he sighed dramatically and you heard loud shuffling through the phone. </p><p>"I just miss you, you know?" he cried. "We should have had more sex when you were here! To make up for the time apart. I already miss your damn soft sexy tiddies" you heard the smirk in his voice. </p><p>"Pervert!" you scolded him as your face flushed at the thought of the sex you had…</p><p>"People called me worse" he answered dryly and you laughed at the memory of your first encounter where you had shared the exact conversation. </p><p>"I miss you too" you answered, sighing into the phone. </p><p>Bokuto grunted and stayed still for a second. </p><p>"What about phone Sex?" he suggested as if it was the most normal thing to ask. </p><p>"What?" you gasped and flushed even more. "No! I'm not doing that!" </p><p>"Aaw~, come on, Sexy. Just hearing your voice makes me incredibly hard" he chuckled and you heard him opening the first drawer of his nightstand. </p><p>"No way! Put that back! I know exactly what you're keeping in your nightstand! No fucking way, you god damn perv" now you laughed, shaking your head in embarrassment. </p><p>Bokuto cried again. "It's been more than two weeks now! Can you at least send me some photos? Pleeeaase??" </p><p>"No!" <br/><br/><br/></p><p>Flushed, embarrassed and shocked over yourself, you got back into your pants and shirt before crawling underneath your blanket. Closing your eyes, you could only imagine what Bokuto was doing right now. </p><p>Squeaking, you buried your face in your hands before you took a long, relaxing breath. </p><p>
  <em>This</em>
  
  <em>damn</em>
  <em> Bastard </em>
  <em>really</em>
  
  <em>talked</em>
  
  <em>me</em>
  
  <em>into</em>
  
  <em>sending</em>
  
  <em>nudes</em>
  <em>. </em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>"You shouldn't be here!" Suga scolded you a few days later when you met the guys at the bar. </p><p>"Oh <em>thank</em> you, Suga! I'm happy to see you too!" you answered sarcastically. </p><p>Suga chuckled and shook his head. "That's not what I meant. You should be in Tokyo, with your Bokuto-san! Not here in Sendai with your acquaintances." Suga pouted. </p><p>"<em>Acquaintances</em>?" you repeated his words and laughed. </p><p>"And here I am thinking we were friends."</p><p>"He's right though, (Y/N)" Tanaka said, playing with his coaster. "Not the acquaintance part, he's fucking with you. But the part where you should be back in Tokyo."</p><p>Sighing you looked at them. And all of them nodded. </p><p>"I don't have a job there. And I have a job here. So, this is not as easy! Also we are way too fresh, I can't just move there because of him" you explained, gesturing with your hands. </p><p>Keishin gave you a dirty smirk before he started speaking up. </p><p>"I fire you. You're a lousy employee anyways" he chuckled and you looked at him shocked. </p><p>"Wha-?" </p><p>"We just want what's best for you!" even Shimizu? She reached out and wrapped her hands around yours. "You always wanted to go to Tokyo. You were a successful business woman there. You loved it there. We know you love Sendai and you love us. But for long, you won't get happy here. You need the big city" </p><p>Surprised you watched as all of them nodded again with their damn self-pleasing, worried smiles. You pouted and crossed your arms but sighed when you figured they were right. </p><p>"Well.. Maybe that's true. But I still don't have a job there and as I said, our relationship is too fresh for me to-" </p><p>"Are you scared?" Suga now asked with a raised eyebrow. "You are scared to go back, isn't it?" your head dropping low, was the answer they had expected. </p><p>"It's okay to be scared. But there's no reason to. Couldn't you work for Bokuto again?" Suga suggested, tapping his finger against his chin. </p><p>"He's got Yamiji, he doesn't need me. Also I'm not sure if I want to work with my boyfriend" you shrugged your shoulders and took a sip of your beer. </p><p>"Hm.. Well.. I'm sure we'll find a solution for you, okay? " Daichi gave you a reassuring smile and you nodded. </p><p>That your friends were worrying about you this much, made you extremely sad, but it also made you feel good. They wanted you to be happy. They were afraid you'd never go back to Tokyo because of what had happened there in the past. </p><p>And they wanted to encourage you to try it again, this time with Bokuto by your side. Maybe you had 'failed' in your eyes, but that didn't mean you had no second chance. <br/><br/><br/></p><p>A month passed. Being apart for already two months didn't help the fact that you missed Bokuto with every fiber of your being. Calling every day or every other day was nice but it was never enough. You wanted to kiss him, to feel his warmth, to take in his scent. To get lost in his arms. </p><p>You couldn't wait to see him again. Just having him close made everything better. </p><p>
  <em>Being</em>
  <em> in love </em>
  <em>is</em>
  <em> strange… </em>
</p><p>Decorating your parents house for Christmas time, your phone was ringing. </p><p>When you picked it up, a familiar voice started talking. </p><p>"(Y/N)" </p><p>"Yamiji! How are you doing? Are you okay? Is everything fine?" you asked, suddenly worried, since he hadn't called you ever since Bokuto had fired you. </p><p>The elder man chuckled. "Yes, I'm fine. Everything is fine. Listen, I wanted to ask you something" <br/><br/><br/></p><p>
  <b>Bokuto's</b>
  
  <b>POV</b>
</p><p>One week before Christmas. Bokuto couldn't wait to finally see you again. You had planned to come over for three weeks, over Christmas vacation and he was so nervous, that he hadn't really slept for days. </p><p>You could be here every second and he was strolling around in his house, like a little kid waiting for Santa. </p><p>He couldn't wait to spend the next three weeks with you. He wished you could stay. He didn't want to see you leave again. </p><p>A knock made him jump and his heart started beating fastly, knowing the only one he was waiting for today was you. </p><p>Opening the door, Bokuto's grin grew impossibly wide, his eyes glistening at the sight in front of him. </p><p>"(Y/N)-chan" he whispered and a second later he had pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you tightly. "Fuck, I missed you so bad" </p><p>Giggling at his chest, you raised your head and met his eyes. </p><p>"I missed you, too" you whispered, before you stood on your tippie toes and placed a cold kiss on his warm, soft lips. Taking off your bag, while still kissing him, you let it fall down the floor next to you. </p><p>"Mmm" he groaned, leaning into it, returning the kiss eagerly. He was immediately lost. The second he tasted your lips, his head turned to mush. </p><p>His impatient hands found the zipper of your jacket and opened it, only to sneak underneath, into the warmth. Pressing against you, he deepened the kiss, face flushed, thoughts running wild. </p><p>When had he ever loved someone as much as he loved you?</p><p>Nibbling on your lip, Bokuto pushed the jacket off of your shoulders, his needy fingers finding the rim of your shirt. </p><p>"Wait, wait" you giggled and stopped his hands. </p><p>"I just arrived and I'm pretty tired. Can we take this a little slower?" </p><p>Sighing, he pulled away to close the door. But seconds later you felt his arms wrap around you from behind. </p><p>"You really expect me to let you go after we haven't seen each other for months now?" he chuckled deeply, his nose buried in the crook of your neck. </p><p>His warm breath sent a shiver down your spine. </p><p>"Y-yes?" you laughed nervously but didn't move. Having him close again felt way too good. </p><p>"You should've thought about that before sending me those provocative, lewd pictures" Bokuto smirked and kissed the naked skin of your neck. </p><p>Shivering you tried to keep your thoughts in place. </p><p>"You practically forced me to do that!" you pouted, swallowing the moan that was about to leave your lips when he pushed his hands underneath your hoodie. </p><p>"I did? Through the phone? How's that possible?" he smirked, biting and kissing along the most sensitive area of your shoulder. </p><p>Warm, big hands roamed over your stomach, your hips and waist, gentle and teasingly slow. You knew he was a hungry man, but you hadn't expect him to be this horny the second you'd walk through his door.</p><p>But you felt his excitement… And damn it made it hard to restrain, combined with his voice whispering in your ear, his hands providing your body with this bitter sweet warmth and his lips treating you way too slow.. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>*</b>
  <b>Explicit</b>
  
  <b>Content</b>
  <b> starts here*</b>
</p><p>"Kotaro.." you whispered back, being frozen in place, unable to make him stop. </p><p>Three months had been way too long…</p><p>Bokuto smirked at your words. He had you where he wanted you to be. Lost in his touches and kisses. </p><p>His left hand moved lower.. And lower, skillfully opening the button of your jeans, just to slip underneath the fabric. </p><p>"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, his body aching to be as close to you as possible. </p><p>"Yes" you aspirated, but stood still. There was no resistance when his hand traveled even lower and gently brushed against your needy core. </p><p>Bucking into his hand to feel more of him, you released a shaky, satisfied moan. Bokuto closed his eyes at the sound. Your voice making it impossible to think. </p><p>"Fuck, I missed those sounds…" he whispered in your ear, still playing with your neck and shoulder. </p><p>"You really want me to stop?" </p><p>Eyes closed, your head fell back, resting against his chest as he kept sliding his fingers up and down your throbbing sex. </p><p>Breathing uneven and fast, you fisted your hand into his shirt. </p><p>"Yes.. Please.." you answered, moving in sync with his skilled hands, needing more friction, wanting more of him. </p><p>A deep chuckle vibrated through his body at your contradictive behavior. </p><p>His free hand pushing underneath your bra he let his fingertips roam over your sensitive skin. </p><p>Another moan escaped your lips, earning another dirty chuckle from Bokuto. </p><p>"Do you really want me to stop?" he asked again. And there was something in his voice, something about his whole naughty, hot situation that you couldn't resist anymore. </p><p>Your fingers were still cold from the snow outside, your nose still red. You still wore your hat, your gloves but you felt so damn naked right now. Bokuto's body pressed against yours from behind. His fingers on places that made your stomach turn in pleasure, his lips kissing you wherever he wanted to, while his extremely obvious hardness grinded against your back. </p><p>"No" you aspirated. </p><p>Within seconds, Bokuto's hand left you, only to lift you up and carry you upstairs. </p><p>He carefully put you down his bed, before he came crawling on top of you. His hands next to your head, he rested his forehead against yours. </p><p>"You're blushing." he stated and rubbed your noses together. </p><p>"How can someone be this fucking cute…"</p><p>Bokuto started to undress you. First the hat, the gloves, the shoes. Then the jeans, the hoodie, the shirt underneath. He did it slowly, taking his time, knowing that he didn't need to rush, he didn't want to rush. </p><p>Though his hands and his dick were impatient and screamed for him to hurry, he didn't. Whenever he took something off, he stopped to place soft kisses on the naked spot. </p><p>On your left hand, your right hand, on your legs, thighs and calves. Your arms, shoulders and neck. Then your breasts, stomach and hips. And when then final piece of clothing fell to the ground, Bokuto pulled his shirt over his head, before he picked you up and pressed you against the wall. </p><p>Speechless, lost and drowning in his dominant actions, you didn't say a word. You kissed him, when he kissed you, you moaned when you felt good, you moved with him, when he found sensitive places on your body. </p><p>But he did all the work. Everything. </p><p>Your naked trembling body leaning against the wall, Bokuto got on his knees in front of you. He roamed both of his hands over your leg, lifted it and placed it over his shoulder. </p><p>"I love you" he whispered, his golden orbs, that watched you closely, filled with raw hunger, before his lips started devouring your aching core. </p><p>
  <b>*</b>
  <b>End</b>
  <b> of Lemon*</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Intense. That's how you'd describe the first night you'd spend with Bokuto after being apart for three months. </p><p>With Bokuto you felt safe. You felt loved and wanted. The wonder and love in his eyes whenever he looked at you or watched you writhe underneath his kisses, touches and thrusts, made you feel incredible. It made you feel special. </p><p>This man, this strong, handsome, sexy man, was here for you. He loved you and he made sure you understood how much he loved every single part of you. Body and soul. </p><p>Bokuto never forgot to kiss you. He never forgot to caress you or to tell you how much he loved you. </p><p>In your eyes, Bokuto was perfect. He was the man you loved. He was the man you wanted to spend your life with. <br/><br/><br/></p><p>On New Years Eve, Bokuto and you spent the night together. Watching the fireworks blowing up in the cold, clear sky, Bokuto held you close to him. He had led you towards a really nice area of Tokyo, where no one went to watch the fireworks. Although you didn't understand, the sight was breathtaking. Beautiful and incredibly romantic. </p><p>You felt like nothing could hurt you. As if everything was just perfect. For some reason you felt like crying. It felt so damn good, that you didn't know where to with all the love that filled your body. Nothing mattered right now. Just you and Bokuto starting the new year together. </p><p>You thought of Yamiji's words when he had called you all of a sudden. Just spending three whole weeks with Bokuto had made you realize that you wanted nothing more than this. </p><p>"I wanted to ask you something" he suddenly said. Your eyes shifted to him, smiling at him. His cheeks and nose were red from the cold, your big red scarf wrapped around his neck. </p><p>"Me too" you smiled, nervously biting your lip. </p><p>"Really?" he laughed, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. </p><p>"Yeah, but you first" you said, taking his hand into yours. You were a little worried since he'd been weird to whole day. </p><p>He waved his free hand, covered in gloves and grinned like an idiot. </p><p>"No! No, you go first" he insisted and you sighed. </p><p>"Let's say it together on three?" you suggested, now laughing at his sweet, but childish behavior. </p><p>Nodding furiously, he turned to grab your other hand. He leaned in to kiss you, a short, gentle one.</p><p>Your eyes met. Big, golden orbs looking into (e/c) ones. In Bokuto's you could see all the love he held for you. The happiness, the joy and gratitude. </p><p>You loved him so much. </p><p>"Ready?" you asked and squeezed his hands. </p><p>"Yeah" he answered, never leaving your eyes. His eyes widened just the tiniest bit, his irises expanded, as if he was extremely excited and nervous. And in love. </p><p>"1" Bokuto's heart stopped for a second. </p><p>"2" the only thing he heard was his own breath and the words that left your lips. </p><p>"3" <em>her </em><em>eyes</em><em> are </em><em>the</em><em> most </em><em>beautiful</em><em>color</em><em>...</em><br/><br/></p><p>"Can I manage you?" </p><p>"Will you marry me?" </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>That's it :)<br/>You've reached the End of my little story :3</p><p>This was my very first Bokuto x Reader Story that I was actually really happy with :D</p><p>Have fun reading :3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Two</b><b>and</b><b> a half </b><b>years</b><b>late</b>r</p><p>
  <b>Black </b>
  <b>Jackals</b>
  <b> Match </b>
  <b>Day</b>
  <b> - After </b>
  <b>the</b>
  <b> Game </b>
</p><p>"Since we didn't have a chance to talk with Bokuto Kotaro himself or his Manager (L/N) (Y/N), Yamijis successor, we are still happy to be able to interview one of the Outside Hitters closest friends. We are here with Mr. Kuroo Tetsuro!"</p><p>Kuroo smirked into the camera, his bad bed hair standing in every direction as always. He was wearing a suit, being at the Jackals game for his own client, Hinata Shoyo. </p><p>"So, Mr. Kuroo, we've already talked about Hinata, the greatest decoy, but we also want to know everything about Bokuto Kotaro and his 'Number 12'. Could you help us out with that?" the reporter asked, stretching out her arm to hold the microphone into Kuroo's face. </p><p>The man started chuckling. He was known for his loose tongue, speaking out what came to his mind, so the reporters were hyped to hear what he had to say about the mysterious couple. </p><p>"If you want to know if they're finally engaged, I'm not the right person to ask. I don't believe in love and soulmates and shit." Kuroo grinned into the camera, adjusting his dark red tie. </p><p>"Do you think there will be a chance that they'll get married?" the reporter asked, excited to hear new content about the troublesome couple of League 1.</p><p>"Could be. But I haven't seen a ring on her finger yet, so maybe she's not ready. Maybe he's not on top of his game and needs to concentrate on that first. </p><p>Maybe she doesn't even love him and only wants his money and the spotlight!" Kuroo held his hand in front of his mouth, gasping over dramatically. He was playing with the reporters, knowing full well how much it pissed them off when he gave answers like that. </p><p>The reporter was about to respond but before she could say anything else, Bokuto and (Y/N) came down from the court towards the exit, walking hand in hand, smiling at each other. Reporters and photographers started to surround them, trying to get close, but the security kept them away from the couple. Without minding any of them they exited, making their way to the bus. </p><p>"Why is she called his 'Number 12'?" another reporter asked, the camera shifting towards Kuroo again. </p><p>At this question, Kuroo only smiled. He didn't look into the camera, his eyes followed his friends, who happily left the court together. Kuroo had never seen his best friend like this after Keiji's death. Beaming from the inside. He finally had his girl by his side. <em>Forever</em>. </p><p>"(Y/N)-chan is Bokuto's 12th 'Manager'. Maybe this does sound a little off. But it's also kinda 'romantic', when you consider that it's also the number on his jersey, as well as his favorite number. And…" he trailed off. It was also Keiji's house number back in their old neighborhood. But this was something that Bokuto kept to himself. So Kuroo stayed quiet. </p><p>"I'm sorry, gotta go! My bus is waiting" he winked into the camera and left the reporters without another word. <br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p>"Damn, Kuroo is so much nicer now!" Suga pouted at the television, where Kuroo just disappeared in the crowd of people. Suga intertwined his hands with Daichi's, sitting in their favorite bar in Sendai. </p><p>"When I helped (Y/N) move into Bokuto's house, he was such a damn teaser. The guy didn't stop talking about girls he had and how many times he.. Well.. Nevermind. It was almost annoying! But he seems like he's grown now! " Daichi chuckled and wrapped his arm around his boyfriend. </p><p>"She moved two years ago, so sure he's grown" he stated, raising his eyebrow. </p><p>"And?" Suga laughed at Daichi and gently punched him in the side. </p><p>"You're right. Damn, I miss her" </p><p>"You know we are all invited to their House Warming Party in two weeks!" Keishin reminded his friend and Suga chuckled silently. </p><p>"I can't wait. I need to ask her, how she managed to keep all of this a secret to the press after all" <br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p><b>Two</b><b>and</b><b> a half </b><b>years</b><b> ago - </b><b>New</b><b>Years</b> </p><p>"Will you marry me?" </p><p>Four words. </p><p>There was an endless amount of possibilities to put four words together. And you had expected any other form of them. Any. </p><p>"<em>Are </em><em>you</em><em>tired</em><em>yet</em><em>?" </em><br/>"<em>Wanna</em><em> go back </em><em>inside</em><em>?" </em><br/><em>"</em><em>Wanna</em><em> play </em><em>some</em><em>cards</em><em>?" </em><br/><em>"</em><em>You</em><em>wanna</em><em> have sex?" </em><br/><em>"I </em><em>want</em><em> a dog!" </em></p><p>Anything. </p><p>But the four words Bokuto had chosen weren't at all what you'd ever thought would leave his lips. Not in this moment. Not in the near future. </p><p>Maybe never. </p><p>But here you stood, hands intertwined with Bokuto, staring at each other. Both of your cheeks and noses red, small puffs of hot air leaving your mouths. </p><p>You didn't know what to do, let alone to say. You couldn't even process those four words. </p><p>"<em>Will. </em><em>You</em><em>. </em><em>Marry</em><em>. </em><em>Me</em><em>?" </em></p><p>Speechless and shocked you blinked until your eyesight seemed to get normal again. </p><p>Staring into his big, hopeful eyes, you opened your mouth just to close it again. </p><p>Bokuto started to shift nervously. </p><p>"I know it's rushed, a-and I know this comes unexpected but" he started rambling, looking everywhere but you. "I-I've never loved someone as much as I love you. And when we were apart, I-I just couldn't stand it. And I couldn't stand the thought of being away from you ever again. I don't want you to ever leave me again. I want you near me, always. I want to wake up next to you, every single morning. I want to kiss you over and over. I.. You.. Because I do love you so fucking much, I-" </p><p>"Yes" you whispered, your cheeks flushed, your heart racing so fast, you felt close to fainting.</p><p>"Wha-? Really?" Bokuto's mouth stood agape, his eyes widened and a big, bright smile appeared on his handsome face. </p><p>Giggling, you took a step closer to him, grabbed him by the collar and pulled him close to your lips. </p><p>"Yes" you repeated gently and closed the distance. </p><p>Bokuto melted into your kiss, his hands finding your back, he wrapped them around you and got lost in the feeling. </p><p>In the background the firework was still going. As well as the fireworks inside of you, as you kept kissing the man you loved, over and over. <br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p>Maybe this was rushed. Maybe this went a little fast. </p><p>But you loved Bokuto and Bokuto loved you. </p><p>You didn't care what the people might say. This was something between you and Bokuto, and nobody else. </p><p>Private, intimate, romantic. Something you'd only share with special people in your life. </p><p>This was your life. And you couldn't wait to spend it with your one and only love, </p><p>Bokuto Kotaro. <br/><br/></p><p>
  <b>The End. </b>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you very very much for sticking with this Story til the very End.<br/>I really hope you had a good time reading and could enjoy it!</p><p>Thank you so so much! :) I hope I could put a smile on some faces! </p><p>Love you guys &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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